Broken Guitar Strings
by messed up stargazer
Summary: René Grantaire is a freshman in college. Enjolras is her philosophy teacher's TA. Eponine is her best friend. Combeferre is Enjolras's second-in-command. Follow her descent in to Les Amis de l'ABC, stressful midterms and a life-changing protest. Genderbent!Grantaire. Rated for language. E/R, C/E, C/J, J/B/M
1. Chapter 1

If anything could be said about René Grantaire's heart, was that it belonged to her brother Ryan and her guitar. But when Ryan died, he had been hit by a drunk driver in a car accident, her heart shattered. She still loved her guitar, music was her only solace, but the ache in her chest could only be filled with alcohol. Or so she said. She knew she had a drinking problem, but would never admit it. So alcohol and music were her life. Oh, and Eponine. Eponine Thernadier, her godfather-appointed 'life counselor', which basically made her René's best friend. Eponine kept her safe when she went out drinking, drove her around whenever she needed it as René never could figure out driving to save her life, shopped for her, and made sure René took her medication. Not only a functioning alcoholic, René was an epileptic. The drinking occasionally helped the seizures, more often than not, it induced them. But René managed. She had too. Ryan had made her promise before he went off to college, and then died.

"Come on, R, get up." Eponine's voice roused René from much-needed slumber. "First day of college. Don't want to be late."

René groaned and put her head under her pillow.

"R, I will drag you out. You know I will." Eponine threatened.

René just moaned again.

"All right." Eponine grabbed René's ankles and yanked her out of bed, like she'd done many times before.

René glared at her through bloodshot eyes, due to the ever constant hangover she had, and climbed back into bed.

"It's ten in the morning. Go away. My first class doesn't start till noon." She groaned.

"Yes, but Jean is in the kitchen. I made breakfast. With bacon. You don't want your godfather to wait and steal all the bacon. I want some too. Now get up." Eponine ordered.

"Bacon?" René's ears perked up, a sure sign she was interested.

Eponine knew it was the only way to get her friend up and going. She had about ten pounds of bacon in the freezers. René dressed and then trudged into the kitchen in her dorm room where her godfather, Jean Valjean, who 'just happened' to be the accommodations manager of their dorm floor, was waiting. Half of what Eponine made was missing.

"Jean." René glowered, snatching some food before the rest of it disappeared.

"Good morning, René. Eponine." Jean greeted them easily.

"What's so good about it?" René complained.

"First day of college." Jean tried.

"Whoop de do." René grumbled.

"Taire, please do try this year. You are incredibly smart, dear. And the classes you have will only show it." Valjean pressed.

"Whatever." René shrugged, making the coffee Irish, using the whiskey she always kept in her flask, which was on her at all times. Jean glared at her. "It helps. The pills only keep them at bay for so long. The alcohol helps."

Jean nodded, sighing. It proved how strong Eponine and Rene's friendship was that Eponine didn't say how too much alcohol induced the seizures. Jean was her godfather but René kept him at arm's distance. The only person she'd ever let in was Eponine.

"So how does Cosette like her apartment?" Eponine tried.

Cosette was Jean's adopted daughter, René's god sister. Cosette was two years older than René and Eponine and had just moved into an on campus apartment with her boyfriend Marius Pontmercy. Jean had not been happy, but because Cosette was happy Jean plastered a smile on his face. Cosette, René and Eponine were Jean's life.

"She's enjoying the freedom. And I made quite sure Marius understood that under no circumstances was he to enter her room." Jean had the tiniest smirk on his face.

"You bastard. I'm proud." René smirked.

"Language." Jean chastised.

"French." She responded cheekily.

"Cute." Jean said in a clipped tone.

"That's me. Okay, stop stealing my breakfast. I want some." René chased a laughing Jean out of her room and went back to the kitchen.

"He's right you know." Eponine shrugged.

"About what?" René asked angrily.

"You should try. I mean, just because you don't care about school doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Ryan would want you to try." Eponine said.

"You didn't know my brother so stay out of it! He didn't care about what classes I took, or if I got A's or B's or even if- if…" René screamed, stood then gasped and collapsed to the floor, shaking intensely.

Eponine ran to her room, grabbed a pillow and put it under René's head. She gently stroked her friend's arms as the seizure died down. Eponine cursed herself. René's brother was still a very sensitive subject to the teen, and more often than not it ended the same way. She checked her watch, the one Jean had bought so Eponine could time René's seizures in case of emergency. Ten seconds. René panted as Eponine helped her sit up. As always, René was exhausted. Even after only ten seconds, a minor seizure, her brain could barely function correctly. René's mouth moved, but no words came out. However, Eponine knew exactly what her friend wanted. Eponine picked her friend up and put her in bed, covers and all. It seems she needed to talk to René's first professor, Larmarque.

As the first class didn't start until noon, Eponine figured Larmarque would still be in his office. Luckily, he was. Eponine knocked and opened the door at the 'Come in'.

"Hello, Professor." Eponine said.

"Are you a student of mine?" Larmarque asked.

"No but I'm here on behalf of a student who is." Eponine started.

"If your boyfriend wants to join my class, tell him to wait and see if he can get on the wait list." Larmarque recited.

"I'm not here for that. I'm here about René Grantaire." Eponine clarified. "She's an epileptic."

"Ah, yes, I remember the memo from Disabilities. What about her?" Larmarque asked.

"She had a seizure this morning, too much emotion often brings them on, and she won't be able to make it this morning. Granted it was just a minor one, but she needs rest." Eponine explained.

"I understand. I will save a seat for her." Larmarque nodded.

"Thank you, sir." Eponine smiled.

"Should I save one for you as well?" Larmarque asked.

"No need, sir. One of her accommodations is I sit at her feet. I'd rather you'd not ask why." Eponine clarified.

"Will she be in tomorrow?" Larmarque questioned.

"More than likely. She's quite good at bouncing back. Is there anything I can bring her? Handouts, syllabus, anything like that?" Eponine asked.

"I can send my TA to your dorm with such things." Larmarque answered. "Are you a nurse?"

"Not really. I've been trained to handle René's seizures. I've known René for years, and when her parents were murdered in her sophomore year of high school she wouldn't leave the house without me. She had seizures almost every day then. Eventually, her godfather moved me in with them and we've been inseparable ever since. I'm one of the few people she lets treat her." Eponine responded.

"If you don't mind me asking, why?" Larmarque pressed.

"I'm not quite sure. I went over to her house to try and get her to eat after her parent's death, not eating doesn't help the seizures, and she basically wouldn't let me leave. The only time I do is holidays which I spend with my family." Eponine said. "And when it comes to seizures, the medication she has helps and as long as I'm around, she should be fine."

"Are you a student at this university?" Larmarque asked.

"Technically, yes. However, all of my classes are me trailing René around making sure she's safe. You'll see me again. There's always something that can set her off and I have to be around when it happens." Eponine shrugged.

"There ever been a time you weren't around?" Larmarque asked.

"Yeah. René nearly died. Some idiot stuck his fingers down her throat and she nearly choked. Lucky the paramedics arrived when they did." Eponine spat.

Larmarque nodded and sent Eponine on her way. Eponine went straight back to the dorm and found René asleep on her bed. Eponine took off René's shoes and undid her belt. She wet a rag and dabbed it against her friend's forehead. Eponine undid her shirt buttons to help release the heat in René's body and turned on the fan. Eponine wiped her brow once more with the washcloth and gave her friend a light peck on the cheek. René smiled in sleep. Eponine froze, drinking in the moment. Only when the girl was asleep did this certain smile reappear. To the girl who wore it, it had been cracked the day her parents' were murdered. It had completely disappeared when her brother died. Eponine ran her hand through René's hair, got her a glass of water, some Tylenol and her epilepsy medication, and went to go make lunch.

She had just about finished peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, René's favorite after her seizures, when she heard a knock.

"I got it." An exhausted René padded to the door, now dressed in her pajamas.

"It's probably Larmarque's TA. He was very flexible about us missing class today." Eponine called after her.

René opened the door to see a Grecian God. Apollo himself stood in her hallway, dressed in a collared white shirt with a blood red jacket and jeans. His eyes were startlingly blue, and his blonde curly hair was tied back loosely with a black ribbon so that it seemed to be a halo. He smiled shyly at her and dug into the messenger bag he wore across his shoulder.

"I'm Enjolras. Larmarque's TA? He did tell you I was coming, right?" He asked, checking the sticky note he was using as a guide.

"Yea, yeah, sorry, I just wasn't expecting you so early. Come on in." René stuttered.

Enjolras nodded and René moved so he could.

"Would you like something?" Eponine asked, gesturing to the sandwiches.

"I couldn't." Enjolras shook his head.

"I can hear your stomach growling, don't lie." René glared at the newcomer and handed him a sandwich.

Enjolras's ears and cheeks turned pink. "I hadn't realized I was so hungry."

"Don't we all." René muttered and sat down with a groan.

"Did you take your pills?" Eponine asked.

"Yes, mother." René groaned.

Eponine shut the blinds and dimmed the lights. "Better?"

"You know the answer." René shrugged.

Eponine sighed and sat at the table as well. "Yes, Enjolras?"

"Uh, all right." Enjolras shook his head clear of cobwebs and started into the lecture of the class. It took about twenty minutes. It normally would've taken ten, but René kept interrupting, usually after taking swigs from her flask.

"You good?" René asked.

"That should cover it." Enjolras nodded.

"Thanks again for doing this. You must have a tight schedule to fit us into." Eponine smiled.

"I guess so. Thanks for the sandwich." Enjolras shrugged, tentatively smiling back.

"See you in class." Eponine said.

Enjolras turned back to look at René. He opened his mouth, hesitated, and then closed it.

"Goodbye." Enjolras said curtly and left.

"Talk about cute!" Eponine shrieked. René laughed bitterly.

"Hey, he was totally checking you out." Eponine laughed with her.

"Yeah, he wanted to know why I was too lazy to go to class and how I got Larmarque to save me a spot." René snorted.

"René." Eponine tried.

"Eponine." René sighed. "He's Apollo. He's not going to look at a drunken mortal like me. Don't bother."

Eponine sighed as René tore into her sandwiches. Once the food was cleared, René went back to bed and Eponine cleaned up.

"So there's this open mike night at the little Café that I noticed. Maybe you could go and do a couple songs." Eponine said, once René was back in the land of the living.

"Cool. Where is it?" René smiled a little.

"It's called the Café Musain." Eponine answered; glad her friend could get interested in something.

"I can check it out." René agreed.

"Cool." Eponine struggled to contain her excitement.

"Cool it Eponine. I just said I'd check it out." René growled.

"Ever the cynic, my dear friend." Eponine smiled sadly and René returned it.

"Hey, wait, isn't that the place where Cosette works?" René asked.

"She's how I noticed it." Eponine admitted, blushing.

René laughed. "Wait, is this some half-cocked scheme to get me out of the house? Or dorm, I guess?"

"You're the one that wants to make a living from performing." Eponine shot.

"Touché."

* * *

**Hey guys! It's been a while since I last wrote anything. Quite honestly, I think this is terrible but Almost an Actress convinced me to put it up since I self-deprecate my writing. Also, if there is something undeniably wrong about the seizures and epilepsy please don't be offended. I'm not epileptic and I only know what I can find online. So if it's convenient for you guys, leave a review and tell me if you think I should continue this. Adieu, mon chers.**


	2. Chapter 2

After that, René's classes seemed very normal. She had four; College Algebra with Professor Javert, English 101 with Professor Tholomyés, Music with Professor Fantine, and Philosophy with Professor Larmarque. Fantine absolutely adored her and Eponine, although she did show more interest when she mentioned her godfather and sister, which then tripled when René played her guitar for the first time. Javert was tough, incredibly strict and gave lots of homework. However, he understood his class wasn't the only one his students were taking and he said if they needed after hour tutoring he could help set that up. English was boring so she didn't pay attention to it much. She barely noticed the professor. However, it was Philosophy she truly enjoyed. Her favorite part was getting under the skin of the TA, Enjolras. Enjolras often taught the class, as Larmarque wanted to see if he had the makings of becoming his permanent grad student teacher, so he often let his own bias seep into the lessons. So she made it her life's goal to find flaws in everything he said. She couldn't help but notice that his blue eyes blazed with passion every time she contradicted him, the way he would get riled up was just so attractive she couldn't stop herself from doing it. He didn't like her, that much was clear and he expressly hated the fact Eponine sat at her feet. He often compared her to King Louis-Philippe, the one who the people revolted against. But every single time she saw him in the hallway, she gave him a wink and looked down at her feet, smirking. His eyes lit up with such fire she often would think she needed a cold shower to calm down.

Soon the week ended, and Eponine was dragging her to the Café Musain. René'd barely had enough time to grab her guitar before Eponine shoved her out the door. She thrust her guitar into Eponine's hands and went back inside to change. She shoved a green beanie over her unruly black curls, slipped into jeans and a blouse, put on her heeled boots, and grabbed her black trench coat before heading back out to Eponine. She cocked an eyebrow before laughing. René grabbed her guitar back and stalked off. Eponine followed quickly and together they headed out. As they were walking someone shouted, "Grantaire!" and tackled René from behind, picking her up in a huge hug.

"The Hell!" René exclaimed.

Whoever it was put her down and turned her around. René would know this boy anywhere. Curly hair, playful grin, mischievous brown eyes, and an aura of charm. This could only be Vivien Courfeyrac.

"Courfeyrac! You bastard! What the Hell was that?" René laughed, cuffing him gently on the shoulder.

"C'mon I can't give my best bro's girl a surprise attack every now and again?" Courfeyrac asked.

"You know that might set me off! You scared me!" René smiled.

"Me? Tiny little me scare a Grantaire? Impossible." Courfeyrac grinned.

"Ryan would have your head on a platter if he caught you doing that to me." René snickered.

"Yeah. But he didn't." Suddenly, Courfeyrac's eyes turned sad. "I miss him too, R."

"I know. Oh God, poor Eponine. Eponine, this is Vivien Courfeyrac, Courfeyrac, this is Eponine. 'Fey and my brother Ryan were on the track team together. They ran the relay together. And 'Fey was the main reason Ryan stayed for thanksgiving and most of Christmas break." René introduced.

Courfeyrac grinned and kissed Eponine's offered hand.

"Ah, Ryan did not tell me she was such a beautiful woman." Courfeyrac grinned.

"By the way, she is the no-fly list, as well." René muttered.

"No fly list?" Eponine asked.

"No fly list. It means I can't flirt with you for just a one night stand." Courfeyrac pouted.

"Don't be cute, 'Fey." René chuckled.

"Are you here for the open mike night?" Courfeyrac bubbled.

"Eponine is forcing me, yes." René groaned.

"You'll love it. C'mon you can meet some of my friends." Courfeyrac pulled her into the Café as Eponine followed.

"Hey everybody! This is René Grantaire! She's my friend! Oh and this is Eponine! She's my friend too!" Courfeyrac announced.

"Of course they're your friends, Courf. Everyone is." A brown-haired boy with glasses remarked.

"R, this is Combeferre. One of my roommates. He's a med student." Courfeyrac acquainted.

René offered her hand which Combeferre promptly shook, followed by Eponine.

"Good to meet you." He smiled.

"Sorry for the interruption. I didn't know he was going to shout." René hit Courfeyrac on the shoulder.

"Ow." Courfeyrac complained.

"You shouldn't have shouted, 'Fey." René chastised.

"She's here for the open mike night. Have we set that up yet?" Courfeyrac asked.

"Just about here. Here. Sign your name and song and that'll tell you when you go up." Combeferre smiled as he passed her the sign in sheet.

"Oh. Hello Grantaire." Enjolras's voice came from behind her, startling her. He dressed like he just came from class, black slacks, collar shirt, dress shoes and his trademark red jacket. She wondered if the world would self-destruct if he wasn't wearing that jacket.

"Enjolras. I didn't figure you for a singer." René smirked.

"I'm not. My group puts on the open mike night. We're the Les Amis de l'ABC and we strive to fight social injustice." Enjolras said dryly.

"I got that from the name. Friends of the Oppressed. What did it used to be? Sluts for the Commonworth?" René teased.

Enjolras huffed angrily. "If you came to insult me, you have done so and now please leave."

"Oh, Enjy, I came to sing." René signed the sheet with a flourish. "I don't expect you to know anything about guitar strings so I think I'll go tune up myself. Maybe you ought to try tuning that stick out of your ass."

Courfeyrac laughed as Enjolras fumed, storming off angrily.

"I have to respect that. I've never seen him get that angry so quickly. You've got a real knack for getting under his skin." Combeferre chuckled.

"It's a talent." René smirked, winking at Eponine.

"You really shouldn't piss him off. You're taking Larmarque's class. He has influence." Eponine tried.

"You're in his class?" Courfeyrac asked. "Ryan said you were gonna be a music major."

"I am. I needed a written communication for G.E. requirements so I decided on Philosophy. Pure coincidence." René shrugged.

"There are no coincidences. You two are gonna screw each other." Courfeyrac predicted.

"Excuse me?" René choked.

"Courf, you've never seen him with anyone. He doesn't date and he certainly doesn't bring people back to the dorm, unlike someone else I can mention. I don't even believe he's had sex." Combeferre said, his face surprised and confused.

"Oh. So it's dick that's that problem, not his ass." René laughed.

"René!" Eponine gasped.

"Hush, Eponine. I'm teasing. TA doesn't know how to take a joke." René shrugged.

"Well, I look forward to seeing you perform. A friend of mine just came in. Excuse me." Combeferre nodded to them and headed towards the door.

"'Fey why aren't you chasing down some tail?" René asked.

"Good question. I'll see you up on stage." Courfeyrac smiled as he scouted out his potential stand girl.

"Eponine- Eponine… earth to Eponine." René snapped in her friend's face. Eponine had stared at the boy who Combeferre had gone to greet. A freckled boy with brown hair and green eyes had come into the café. He smiled at René before Combeferre had his attention.

"He's perfect." Eponine sighed. "I've seen him around campus. He's always handing out these flyers and he sounds really sweet and he even bought a girl's lunch for her when she forgot her key card."

"Oh no." René muttered.

"What? Don't tell me _you_ like him." Eponine sighed.

"Ep, that's Marius. Pontmercy. That's Cosette's boyfriend. Who she is living with. I'm sorry, sweetie, but he's kind of off the market." René said.

Eponine's face fell. "He's taken?"

"Cosette has no plans of letting him go." René sighed.

Eponine sighed as well and René took her friend to the bar. Cosette was bartending tonight. Cosette, with her flowing golden hair that she often tied back and brown eyes like molten chocolate. Cosette who often dressed in bright colors to show off her bright mood and outlook.

"Hey, R, Eponine. What can I get you?" Cosette asked cheerily.

"You got anything for a broken heart?" René asked.

"I do indeed. I didn't think you went for anyone, though." Cosette said, starting to mix drinks.

"I don't. Eponine did. Turns out, he's with someone else." René said, which technically was true. Cosette didn't need to know that Eponine had suddenly fallen for her boyfriend.

Eponine let her head hit the bar and groaned.

"Poor thing. I got just the thing." Cosette smiled as she handed Eponine a Jack and Coke.

"Thanks, Cosette." Eponine threw back the shot with ease.

"Damn. I taught you well." René laughed which made Eponine crack a smile.

Then Marius made his way over to the bar and kissed Cosette. Eponine moaned and tapped twice on the bar, universal signal for another drink.

"I'm sorry? Did I offend you?" Marius blundered.

"Broken heart." Cosette explained.

"Ah. Don't worry. There are better men than him. You'll find the right one." Marius smiled at Eponine before heading off.

René snorted. "Damn. Cosette, treat me right baby. It's not my first time but be gentle."

Cosette snickered and poured her some wine.

"Wine? Really?" René asked.

"The guitar. You're going up on stage. You'll get the good stuff after you perform." Cosette deduced.

"Aw, look at you taking care of me." René deadpanned.

Cosette winked at her god sister as she brought out her guitar. René slowly drank her wine as she tuned her guitar. Once her guitar was tuned to her satisfaction, René waited for her turn.

"What song are you singing?" Cosette asked.

"Yeah, what song?" A tipsy Eponine added.

"Wait and see my good friends. P.S. Cosette we walked here so she can get as drunk as she wants to." René said as her name was called.

René made it up to the stage, pulled up the stool, and sat down in front of her microphone.

"Hello everyone. Name's René Grantaire. This is my first time so be gentle." René teased.

She took a deep breath and started strumming.

"I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you  
To a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Maybe I have been here before  
I know this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

There was a time  
You let me know  
What's real and going on below  
But now you never show it to me, do you?  
And remember when I moved in you?  
The holy dark was moving to  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Maybe there's a god above  
And all I ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you  
And it's not a cry you can hear at night,  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
It's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah."

René nearly fell off the stool as loud applause boomed through the café. She stood and bowed slightly. Her cheeks reddened extensively and she scooted off the stage.

"That was fantastic!" Marius gave her a hug as other people started to swarm her, congratulating her on a spectacular performance. She tried to smile at them but soon lost her breath and made her way to her friends.

"Cosette, I think I need to get some air." René gasped as she came up to the bar. She was trembling, sweating and wrinkling her nose.

"Cover me?" Cosette asked over her shoulder.

She immediately hopped over the bar and led her god sister outside. Eponine stumbled after, the prospect of a seizure slightly sobering her. René gasped in the cold air and knocked back some whiskey. She sat down and put her head in between her knees. Once she had gained some control over her body, she slowly raised her head. The world didn't go tilted or black, so she figured she got out of there in time. Courfeyrac had joined the two girls with her guitar, who were standing within a close circle but enough to give René her space.

"I'm good. I think I should go home though." René panted.

"That's probably best. I can ask Marius to drive you home." Cosette offered.

"I can walk." René shook her head, slowly getting to her feet. "Great. Now everyone is going to know I'm disabled. Hell."

"What are talking about? You're taking Eponine home, who was much more drunk than we thought." Courfeyrac smiled at her.

René returned it. "I see why my brother liked you so much, 'Fey. It's easy to be friends with you."

"I know." Courfeyrac said then sighed. "Alright, I told myself I wouldn't ask this but I think I have to. Is it true? Did Ryan like me, as more than a friend?"

"No. Ryan went for a chick named Vivienne. I wanna say Vivienne Gates. I see the confusion. I can say with absolute certainty that Ryan was not gay for you." René reassured.

Courfeyrac grinned and breathed a clichéd sigh of relief. "Thank God. I mean, I would've been cool with him being gay and all I mean I'm bisexual and I'm no hypocrite so I'll just- I'm shutting up now."

"I get it 'Fey. Guys who are not gay can be scared of gay guys liking them. They don't want to hurt them or ruin their friendship so they ignore it or they sleep with the guy and regret it." René dismissed.

Courfeyrac rolled his eyes at her and handed her guitar back and Cosette gave her another once over before saying goodbye and going inside.

"Why'd you lie?" Eponine asked as they were walking back.

"I never told you about that." René said.

"I've known you for years. I know when you lie. You lied to Courfeyrac. Why?" Eponine repeated.

"Because there's no point in making Courfeyrac feel bad when Ryan is dead. You saw how relieved he was when I denied it. There's no point hurting him. Ryan wouldn't want that. He didn't love 'Fey, but he cared about him. It could've turned into love. And since you're drunk, I expect you to keep this secret when you're sober." René explained.

Eponine nodded. "I'm not that drunk."

"I'm expecting you to take out your phone, set it to airplane mode ,yell, 'TRANSFORM', and throw it any minute now." René deadpanned.

Eponine laughed and brought her phone out.

"TRANSFORM!" She screamed at the top of her lungs and tossed the phone at René who barely saved it in time. "I think _I_ would've caught it better."

"I only have one hand. I'm not dropping my guitar for your phone." René shoved the phone in her own pocket and kept walking.

It didn't take long until they arrived at the dorm, where René forced Eponine to bed. She was asleep mere seconds later. Once back in her own room, she brought her guitar out of her case again.

"Ah, look at all the lonely people… Ah, look at all the lonely people…"

* * *

**All right. Another chapter done. Keep reviewing what you think. And if you really want me to continue it, tell me. I'll update as best as I can. School's about to start and I move into my dorm in about two weeks. Until then, adieu mon chers.**


	3. Chapter 3

"All right so tell me about these 'meetings' you guys have." René asked Courfeyrac, who had gladly taken up her offer of friendship and was now sprawled across her bed. Les Amis de l'ABC intrigued the cynic, so she decided hearing more couldn't hurt. Plus Cosette and Marius were members so it couldn't be all bad.

"Well, mostly its Enjolras giving speeches that have all of us on our feet and reporting on what good we do for the common good." Courfeyrac said.

"That's it?" René questioned.

"Most of our fame comes from the protests we hold. We put on 'Take Back the Night' and 'Pride Parade' every year." Courfeyrac finished.

"Fun." René said dryly.

"It really is actually. You should check it out." Courfeyrac smiled.

"I should, should I?" René snorted.

"But first we can snuggle." Courfeyrac grabbed her shirt and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm not sleeping with you." René laughed.

"Not what I'm trying to do." Courfeyrac said. "There's a reason my nickname is the Octopus. I sprawl everywhere and once I have you in my tentacles I never let go."

"I thought it was because if you went to Japan, they'd eat you for dishonoring their kids." René laughed.

"You wound me, my dear girl." Courfeyrac pushed her off, putting his hand on his heart dramatically. Without balance, René fell off the bed, which made Courfeyrac laugh harder. Suddenly, something grabbed his belt and pulled until he was on the floor.

"Payback's a bitch." René whispered.

"René, what the Hell are you two doing?" Eponine cried out from the living room.

"Killing each other. I'm winning." René shouted back.

"Okay. Have fun." Eponine yelled.

"In all seriousness, Grantaire, we have a meeting tonight. Come and check us out. I say you'll really like it. If you don't, I'll buy you a bottle of white wine. And some of the good stuff not the bland stuff." Courfeyrac extended his hand.

René thought. If Eponine found out, she was definitely going whether she got wine or not.

"Buy me a drink when we get there too and you're on."

* * *

Enjolras's argument was flawed.

"Universal free health care can only help us. People who cannot afford it now will be able to get access to treatment of STDs, and other diseases and that should dramatically decrease the amount of sickness in slums." Enjolras, who was standing on the table in the Musain, said loudly which got a cheer from the audience.

"So you think the only disease in slums is STDs?" René called out, taking a long drink from the Courfeyrac bought Jack Daniels.

"Of course not." Enjolras started.

"So STDs are only passed around in the slums?" René asked.

"No. STDs are as dangerous as a heart attack and anyone can get them. Are you against universal free health care?" Enjolras asked.

"Is it working in America? All their illegal immigrants are using and abusing their system as are the homeless and all it does is make the blue collar workers pay more out of their pocket that they don't have. White collar barely even notices the difference. They don't pay as much as blue collar does." René rebutted.

"But those blue collar workers are being given free health care." Enjolras countered.

"However, most of them make 'enough' money to pay for healthcare. Because the government doesn't factor things in like groceries and paying for public school supplies as no school hasn't suffered from budget cuts and taxes." René contradicted.

"So you believe those 'homeless and illegals' should be left to die from untreated but curable diseases." Enjolras shot.

"Of course not. I'm not cruel." René snapped.

"But without that free healthcare, because that's all they can afford, they will die. From preventable, curable disease." Enjolras squared his shoulders.

"But that still doesn't give them the right to force other people to pay for the healthcare. How would you feel if I, let's say I'm a struggling artist on the street, got the flu or a cold and went to a free clinic ranting and raving about how I'm about to die. So they run all the tests and the MRIs and CAT scans and they find out I have a minor cold. And you barely make ends meet as it is. Do you want to pay for my medical expenses? Cause I certainly can't. I don't make enough money." René smiled a little.

Fiery passionate blue eyes met cool collected blue and it seemed neither was going to break soon.

"So every person who accepts free healthcare is abusing the system? So what about the people in poverty who are in an abusive relationship where he won't pay the bills? What about the 'struggling artists' who fall down the stairs of ratty apartment buildings? Do they abuse the system every chance they get?" Enjolras said coolly.

"Not everyone abuses the system." René conceded.

"So to help those who don't, free healthcare should be implemented." Enjolras finished.

"And what about those who do? What do we do with them?" René asked.

"Nothing is perfect. There will always be someone who abuses what they can. But we should focus on those who don't." Enjolras stated.

"Have fun doing that. When you finally get that uptight ass out of the clouds, and you realize all this is pointless, I'll buy you your pity drink and teach you how to really have fun." René teased.

Enjolras huffed angrily and launched back into his speech. René smirked as he finished up his speech quickly and stepped down from the table. He stormed over to where she and Eponine were sitting, Eponine trying to look invisible.

"What do you have against me?" Enjolras demanded.

"Nothing. I just like pulling your pigtails, sweetheart." René winked at him.

He took in a livid breath and glared at her. She smirked at him.

"Aw, look, Eponine he's noticing me." René cooed. "Poor, drunken cynical Hyacinthus."

"Excuse me?" Enjolras cocked an eyebrow.

"Hyacinthus. Fell in love with the god Apollo and was killed by the very thing he loved." René explained, holding up her flask. "You will kill me one day, my love."

"I see talking to you has no point. Although, tell me, do you delight in seeing people you think below you at your feet?" Enjolras asked scathingly.

It was René's turn to be confused. "What?"

"The girl who sits at your feet." Enjolras gestured to Eponine, who tried to sink further and further into her seat.

"You don't understand." René spat contemptuously, standing sharply.

"No I think I do. You speak of those who abuse the system and yet you abuse those 'beneath' your station. I understand perfectly." Enjolras sneered.

"You don't-… Eponine!…" Suddenly black spots peppered her vision and the last thing she felt before blacking out was hitting something very hard.

* * *

The seizure seemed to last forever. Enjolras had watched in slow motion as Grantaire's eyes rolled up inside her head and she collapsed, hitting her head on chair before her friend could catch her. Immediately, Combeferre whipped out his cell phone and dialed 911. He rattled off the address to the operator, as Eponine made sure Grantaire didn't bite her tongue off, and helped her as much as he could. His breath wouldn't come, his eyes couldn't leave her shaking form. Eventually, she stilled and went utterly limp, the only indication she was alive was the slight rise and fall of her chest.

"Dammit. Forty-five seconds. I don't know if she's ever had one this long." Eponine whispered to Combeferre but because everyone had gone deathly silent everyone could hear her.

"I'm glad I called the paramedics when I did. Can you feel any blood?" Combeferre asked.

Eponine gently teased at Grantaire's black curls and shook her head.

"She might still have a concussion but at least there's no head wound," Combeferre said before shouting, "All right, everyone back off! She needs space!"

Everyone but Enjolras, his eyes unable to leave the girl on the ground, did so as the paramedics arrived.

"Explain to me what happened." One of the paramedics asked, very clearly the older one of the two.

"René Grantaire. She's an epileptic, eighteen and she had a few shots tonight. She was debating a point when it got personal and her emotions were running high. She was trembling and wrinkling her nose, which are her normal ticks for seizures, and she crashed into the chair as she fell. The seizure lasted forty-five seconds, which is a new record for her, and she's been unconscious for… three minutes. I'm one of her legal guardians and I have her medicine right here." Eponine said professionally, holding out a pill bottle.

"Done this before, have you?" The other paramedic questioned gruffly.

"Sadly, multiple times." Eponine answered.

They loaded the still unconscious Grantaire onto a stretcher and Eponine followed. She stopped only for a second in front of Enjolras. He barely recognized her presence, always watching Grantaire's chest rise and fall.

"It's not your fault." She whispered and hopped into the ambulance.

The doors closed, snapping Enjolras out of his daze.

"This stays off of all social media sites. If it doesn't, there will be severe consequences. Meeting adjourned." Enjolras growled.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac came over to their roommate. He sighed and sat down in one of the now empty chairs at an empty table.

"Was she lying?" Enjolras asked Combeferre.

"I don't know. Epilepsy is different for everyone. It could've been bad timing or stress or even poor diet and the drinking that set her over the edge. I must say though, that Eponine girl handled it quite well." Combeferre answered truthfully.

"She wasn't kidding when she said this isn't the first time she's handled stuff like this. Grantaire's brother said she used to have seizures daily." Courfeyrac chimed in.

"You met the girl last night." Combeferre argued.

"I met her physically last night. I heard all about her last year." Courfeyrac explained.

"Let's go home. There's nothing we can do now." Combeferre rounded up everything they owned and shoved it into their respective book bags.

That night, Enjolras couldn't sleep. He stared at his ceiling for hours, wanting the sweet bliss of sleep to wash over him but no such thing happened. Instead all he saw whenever he closed his eyes was Grantaire collapsing and hitting her head. He knew in his heart that he had caused it. He argued with her, called her out, and probably hit below the belt. Just because she didn't agree with his views. Granted, he still vehemently protested the fact that Eponine didn't even have a chair other than Grantaire's legs and feet but that didn't give him the right to induce that kind of pain. He would have to find some way to apologize. He just wasn't sure how that would happen. Flowers… died, chocolate… might be allergic or might not enjoy taste, or maybe a note… isn't personal enough. It seemed his only answer was to apologize to her directly.

* * *

That next Sunday, it seemed Enjolras could not get Grantaire alone. Courfeyrac had invited her and Eponine over, and as soon as they showed up Combeferre had assaulted her with questions, once she had given her permission of course. How long was her last seizure? How often they occur? Did she know what had gone wrong to cause her epilepsy? How long had she had it? Did she have any other symptoms?

"Jesus, Combeferre, I invited her over for drinks not studying." Courfeyrac interrupted.

"I'm fine with the questions, really. It's kind of refreshing. Someone cares more about the epilepsy itself than how many likes they can get on Facebook with video. Thank you for that, Enjolras. Courfeyrac told me you kept it off of the social media sites. I really appreciate that." Grantaire smiled at him.

"I'm sorry for causing the seizure in the first place." Enjolras blurted out, blushing as he realized what he'd said. He'd meant to say something different.

Grantaire smacked Eponine on the arm.

"Ow. What was that for?" Eponine demanded.

"Usually you're a lot better at that. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't your fault. Drinking coupled with bad timing. It happens. Ask your roommate, Combeferre right?" Grantaire said.

"Yes, that is my name." Combeferre nodded.

"Score. I actually got it right. Usually I'm terrible at that." Grantaire pumped a fist in the air.

"So are you gonna come back to the meetings? Or do I need to go out and get some more wine?" Courfeyrac asked.

"If Enjolras doesn't blow a fuse every time I open my mouth." Grantaire agreed.

"I did not blow a fuse. Your argument was based on cynical perspectives and circular logic." Enjolras defended.

"And yours was based on optimistic perspectives and circular logic." Grantaire teased.

"And the sexual tension begins!" Courfeyrac shouted and was hit multiple times by every couch pillow in reach.

* * *

**Hey again guys! As I said earlier, I only know what the internet tells me about epilepsy, so if it's wrong feel free to correct me. If you don't want this to go cold, review. Adieu mon chers. Talk to you soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, sorry it was so late. Saturday was my move in day for college, and now that I'm officially moved in I finally have time to write. Sorry for the delay.**

* * *

At the next meeting, Courfeyrac introduced them to the entire Les Amis de l'ABC. Prouvaire, the cherry tree who dressed in bright colors and had often had flowers in his long red braid, who demanded they call him Jehan. Feuily, the scholarship student who worked the bar at the Musain with Cosette. Bahorel, the older law student who was more of a boxer than a lawyer. Joly, a hypochondriac medical student, and Bousset, the unluckiest of all people, who were in one of the strangest relationships René had ever heard as Joly was dating a girl named Musichetta, Bousset was dating a girl named Musichetta, and they were also dating each other. They were some of the strangest people René had ever met. To her, that was saying something. However, she found she could not stay away from the Musain, though she stopped with the open mike night. Enjolras was captivating, Courfeyrac was hilarious, Feuily was entertaining, Bahorel was a great drinking partner, and Jehan always made her smile. However, she found she could not stop herself from tearing down Enjolras's arguments. His voice was music and she kept interrupting. It did seem, though, that her arguments caused them to think almost as often as Enjolras's did.

"You are such a cliché!" René screamed at Enjolras as he came in, announcing that he had a sign-up sheet for volunteers at the neighborhood soup kitchen on Friday, a day where most kids had no classes.

"Is it cliché to want to help those who cannot help themselves?" Enjolras shot back.

"I don't know. Is it cliché for a mere mortal to fall in love with a god such as you?" She responded, her speech slightly slurred.

"You think me a god?" Enjolras asked, looking incredulous.

"If only the gods of old could have such beauty, such power. Apollo himself would look upon you and be jealous of your eyes. The eyes so powerful he could hold no emotion over anything but how your eyes are capable of so much more than his." René exaggerated, standing and gesturing to the heavens.

Enjolras glared at her. She smirked at him. He passed the clipboard around. She grabbed it with a flourish and signed her name as big as she could across the paper. He tried to rip it from her hands, but as her grip was just as strong, he inadvertently pulled her to him, causing them to crash to the floor.

"If you wanted a 'study date', all you had to do was ask, baby." René teased.

"Get off of me." Enjolras shoved her off roughly.

She pouted at him before laughing at his face marred with anger. "Angry, baby?"

"Do not call me baby!" Enjolras shouted, surprising the others around them.

"Fine, sweetheart. I'm getting another drink. Ep, you want one?" When Eponine shook her head, René wandered to the bar alone.

"Feuily, make me smile." René grinned.

Feuily rolled his eyes, but filled her a shot of Jack Daniels nonetheless.

She tossed it back with ease. "What would I do without you?"

"Crash and burn." He replied cheekily.

"Her shots on me." Came a voice from behind her.

A boy with jet black hair, a crooked smile, and mischievous eyes grinned at her. However, she could smell the alcohol on his breath. Now she knew what Eponine complained about all the time. She thought to herself that she needed to start carrying a toothbrush around.

"And who are you to be buying my drink?" René asked, checking him out. He was exactly what Enjolras was not. He seemed to be Ephialtes to Enjolras's Apollo.

"We're in the same philosophy class. You argue with the TA bastard all the time. Least I can do is buy you a drink after you had another spat with him." The boy winked, obviously used to being drunk off his ass.

"Her shot's on her, Feuily. I don't like people insulting Apollo." She stiffened and turned away from him.

"Her shots on me with one for me. Call it an apology." His face was sympathetic but his eyes portrayed no regret.

"What's your name?" She conceded. After all, a free drink was a free drink.

"Call me Montparnasse." He toasted her and knocked back his drink. Feuily poured hers, but then was called to the other side of the bar.

"All right. I've had your drink." She said coldly.

"Look, I'll be blunt. I wanna take you somewhere cold and warm you up." Before she could stop him, he claimed her lips by his own.

She slapped him as hard as she could. He stumbled back and growled.

"Easy, boy. Wouldn't want me to put you down." She hissed.

"There are problem?" Bahorel wrapped an arm around René's waist, but in the 'I'm-here-for-you' way.

"No problem. Just showing this drunk where the door was." She spat, throwing him towards the door.

"Here. On the house." Feuily handed her a glass of rosé wine. She smiled gratefully at him and walked back to Eponine.

"Well, I'm glad you can handle yourself." Eponine muttered.

"Idiot kissed me. What was I supposed to do?" René asked.

"Let Bahorel throw him out. I've heard it's hilarious." Eponine laughed, and René knew her friend was teasing.

"Well, I'll make sure to do that the next time I get my lips assaulted." René promised.

Enjolras, who'd come over to ask if she was really going to go to the soup kitchen, raised an eyebrow.

"This isn't my first bar fight, love." René soothed.

"Don't call me that." Enjolras spat. "Are you coming for all of this, or what?"

"Let me see what I did, honey." René looked over the sheet. Suddenly she took Enjolras's pen and crossed out two times at the beginning of the sheet.

Enjolras's eyebrow went higher.

"I have class." René explained.

"Of course you do." Enjolras laughed bitterly. It was clear he didn't believe her.

"Seriously, we do." Eponine chimed in.

Enjolras nodded to her, as she was much more trustworthy, and took back the clipboard.

"Speaking of class, we need to go home. If you go to Javert with a hangover, blood will spilt." Eponine reminded her.

"Shit. I forgot about class tomorrow." René muttered.

"You're lucky I didn't." Eponine grabbed her friend and dragged her home before she could stay for another half an hour saying goodbye.

Neither noticed that Montparnasse never returned to the bar.

* * *

The soup kitchen couldn't have been more of a disaster. René spent more time playing dominoes with the patrons than actually helping. She played a couple of songs once the people she was playing dominoes with heard she came from a music class but that was about all she did. Eponine understood that it was René's way of helping, she was making the homeless people smile, but Enjolras did nothing but fume. Enjolras was so furious with her that he all but struck her. He dragged her outside and screamed at how useless she was, that she could not complete a simple task assigned to her and how he was amazed how she had gotten this far in life as he doubted she could do it herself. His words cut so deep that both Eponine and Combeferre had to intervene. René said nothing on the drive home as Eponine ripped Enjolras to shreds and even forgot her guitar in the car before she went and locked herself in her room. When Eponine knocked, there came no answer.

"I'm going to kill him." Eponine swore.

So she stormed out of the room and went to Enjolras's shared dorm and pounded on the door. When she realized they weren't back yet, she planted herself down in front of the door. She stewed as she waited, for hours, imaging horrible ways of killing Enjolras. She understood he was passionate but that gave him no right to hurt René in that way.

"Eponine? Is everything all right?" Combeferre was the first one back.

"No. Enjolras is going to die. And you will help me make it look like an accident." She grabbed him and threw him down onto the pavement.

"What's wrong? I understand Enjolras may have gone too far…" Combeferre trailed off as he saw how angry Eponine was.

Enjolras and Courfeyrac followed as Combeferre went silent.

"Julien Enjolras you are dead!" Eponine screamed. Courfeyrac and Combeferre had the common sense to flee inside for their lives.

"It's her own fault. She volunteered to help and she did nothing." Enjolras defended, standing sharply.

"If you've sent her back into depression I'm going to murder you and I'll make it hurt like you never even thought possible!" Eponine hissed.

"Depression? Grantaire has depression?" Enjolras asked, confused.

"Yes. Depression. She doesn't get sad. She doesn't get the blues. There's a reason she drinks so much." Eponine growled.

"If she wished not to be depressed, she should've helped." Enjolras dismissed.

"My God. You truly are as ignorant as she says you are when you speak in the meetings. You don't know what she's been through. And I get that you're passionate, you care about your cause, but that girl did nothing to provoke that! I don't think a serial killer could've provoked that. You are like fire when you're angry, Enjolras, you burn everything in your path whether or not it's innocent. You speak of helping people but you do not even control yourself around those you could be helping! She made them happy, just playing dominoes with them. And you didn't see them when she started playing. In case you didn't notice, which I doubt you did, they were telling you to leave her alone. They loved her! And you were so blinded by your anger that she didn't fit into your definition of helping that you couldn't see that. I used to think you were someone to be admired, Enjolras, and I thought you could help change her views and help her see the world in a better light. But now I see you are exactly like every other human being she has ever encountered. Egotistical, selfish, disgusting, hateful and cruel! If I see you near her when we're not in class, I'm going to rip your dick off and shove it down your throat." Eponine threatened and stormed back to her and René's room.

It took ten minutes to calm herself down. Then she knocked on René's door.

"R, sweetie?" She asked.

No answer.

"R, open this door now." Eponine commanded.

Nothing.

"If you don't, I'm going to have to fetch Jean and you know how he worries." Eponine threatened.

No response.

Desperate, she cried out, "Knowing him, he'll try to have you put on the Celexa again!"

Shuffling feet, a latch unlatching and the door opened. "You hated me on the antidepressants as much as I did."

René's nose and eyes were red, although there were no tear streaks. Her hair was mess, tangled and unkempt, and her clothes were wrinkled. Her voice was lifeless as was her eyes. Her expression was not one of sadness, but one Eponine recognized, unfeeling. Eponine felt a new anger towards Enjolras. René barely survived her last bout of depression. Eponine sighed and embraced her friend passionately. René did not move to return the hug.

"Shove off Ep." René murmured.

"I will not. René, you can't believe what he said. He's an asshole who doesn't deserve your time." Eponine tried.

"But he's right. What good am I?" René sighed.

"Good? What good are you? Why am I in college?" Eponine asked.

"To take care of me." René answered.

"Yes. Could my family with three kids and no stable job other than pickpocketing ever afforded that?" Eponine questioned.

"You could've gotten financial aid." René said weakly.

"No. I looked it up. Because of my parent's rap sheet, I wouldn't have gotten a dime. But here I am because of you. Did Ryan think you weren't very good?" When René shook her head, Eponine knew she'd saved her for the night. But for the night alone.

"Did your parents ever lie to you?" Eponine inquired.

"No. They never lied to either of us." René responded.

"Did they tell you that you weren't any good?" Another shake of the head.

"Thank you, Ep. I don't know what I'd do without you." Finally, René returned the hug but it was short as she let go quickly.

"I'm going to bed. Don't wake me up tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to go to the meeting." René muttered and closed her door.

Knowing she did all she could for the night, Eponine headed to bed. Apparently, she'd gotten a text.

_Unknown: This is Combeferre. If you have any trouble with Grantaire tonight, don't hesitate to call. You aren't the only one who thinks Enjolras went too far. He doesn't mean to hurt, he's just too caught up in his passion sometimes._

**Me: Thanks for your offer, but she's gone to bed. She didn't tell me she had a seizure, and that's one of our rules so she didn't have one thank God. And make sure Enjolras knows I'm serious about my threat. I don't want him near her. Not even if her forgiveness would save his life.**

_Ferre: I can understand that. However, he will wise up and he will want to apologize especially after the whipping you just gave him. When that happens, please don't kill him. I'd hate the paperwork._

**Me: Thank you for that. I needed a little humor tonight. And I guess you're right. I whipped him good tonight. He still standing out there staring?**

_Ferre: No, we made him come inside. He said he was fine which of course I don't believe because he looked like he was in shock. I don't think anyone's ever talked to him that way before._

**Me: Well he needed someone to.**

_Ferre: He's not always like this. Usually, he's much kinder. I cannot fathom why he can't stand her._

**Me: Maybe because they differ politically.**

_Ferre: No, because he goes on and on about how she gives him such great ideas. But he treats her worse than he treats police. And he hates police._

**Me: Maybe there's a fine line between love and hate.**

There was some time until the next text showed up.

_Ferre: Perhaps. If you'll excuse me, Courfeyrac set fire to his tie while trying to make pasta. I need to take care of this. Goodbye._

She didn't bother replying after that. She got ready for bed, and just as she climbed into it, a soft knock came at her door.

"What is it, R?" Eponine asked.

"Is my guitar still in the car?" The girl from behind the door asked.

"I brought it in. It's in the living room." Eponine answered immediately. Relieved, she fell asleep to the quiet strumming of guitar strings. Tomorrow, she thought, would be a long day.

* * *

**Okay so another chapter done. Hope ya'll are still interested. Adieu, mon chers.**


	5. Chapter 5

The first knock came at ten, an hour before the meeting that neither Eponine nor René was going to was supposed to start.

Eponine screamed as she opened the door. "Enjolras, if that's you, I swear I'm going to-"

But it wasn't Enjolras. It was Jehan. He held flowers, roses to be exact, and boxes of chocolate in his arms.

"Is Grantaire here?" He asked.

"Yeah. She's still asleep, I think, let me go check. C'mon in." She answered uncertainly. He came in without hesitation.

"Before you wonder if I'm stalking you, Courfeyrac gave me your address." Jehan responded to her thoughts.

Not having an answer to that, she knocked on René's door.

"Go away Eponine! It's too early for this!" René complained.

Given how she'd been sleeping for over twelve hours, Eponine knocked harder.

"Jehan's here! Now get your ass out of bed and come say hi!" Eponine shouted.

Hasty movements sounded from inside and the door opened as René ran a brush through her tangled mess of black curls.

"Did I invite you over and totally forget? If I did, I'm so sorry, I'm just- oof." René was cut short by Jehan thrusting the flowers and chocolate into her arms.

"You didn't forget. I came of my own accord. I thought you might need cheering up today and I wasn't sure whether you liked flowers or chocolate so I brought both." Jehan chirped and grabbed her shoulders and whisked her to the living room. Eponine put the flowers in one of the few vases they'd brought along with them, at Jean's insistence, before joining them on the couch.

"So my darling, Grantaire, I call for a cheesy movie marathon! I have some in my car if you don't have any." Jehan smiled.

"That's fine, really. You have the meeting today. You should go to that." René tried.

"Oh no. I can skip a meeting or two. If they need me, they can text me. Today I'm focused on you." Jehan dismissed. "Do you want me to get my movies or not?"

"We have some." Eponine piped up. She grabbed _Moulin Rouge, Batman and Robin, _and most of René's Mel Brooks collection and set them out on the table.

"What?" Jehan's sudden exclamation made both René and Eponine jump. "You think _Moulin Rouge_ is a cheesy movie?"

"I do." René answered calmly. Jehan turned to her with genuine confusion on his face.

"Why? Freedom, beauty, truth and love are the only things worth having. Who needs money when you have someone you love with you?" Jehan protested.

"It's not that I don't agree with it. It's just… out of touch with the real world. A prostitute would never go for someone penniless. It may not be real love, what the Duke offered, but Hell it's a lot better than being on the street. I like the songs and stuff, Ewan McGreggor can really sing and Nicole Kidman is gorgeous but I think the plot is just too much of fairy tale." René shrugged.

"That's very cynical." Jehan mused.

"I'm a very cynical person." René said, biting her lip. Eponine could tell she was hoping she hadn't frightened her new friend away.

"Well, I'll just have to change that." Jehan said as another knock came at the door. This time it was Bahorel, who invited himself in.

"Feuilly is coming after his shift which should be in about half an hour." Bahorel announced as he picked René up and sat down with her in his lap.

"All right." Eponine shrugged. The more people around her, the better René should be. Especially since she considered them her friends.

Although surprisingly, Combeferre and Courfeyrac were next.

"Everyone texted saying they weren't going today so we just canceled it. And we decided to come and see Grantaire. You know, make sure she's okay. Enjolras really ripped her a new one yesterday." Courfeyrac explained.

Eponine allowed them in and kept the door unlocked. Seeing everyone on the couch, the new additions joined them. Combeferre was on the end, next to Eponine, who sat next to Bahorel who still wouldn't let René out of his lap, Courfeyrac got in between them and Jehan snuggled into him. After much debate, and even some overacting on the part of Jehan and Courfeyrac, it was chosen that _Blazing Saddles_ was to be the first movie. Feuilly showed up right on time. He squeezed in between Bahorel and Eponine. About an hour in, Joly and Bousset showed up. Feuilly offered to give up his seat, but Bousset said it was just his luck. Joly sanitized the chair and Bousset sat in between his legs. Marius and Cosette showed up just as the credits were rolling with lunch.

"I think everyone's here. We ran by the Musain but no one was there. Not even Enjolras." Cosette laughed as she passed out the food.

"Speaking of Enjolras, I don't see him." Marius scanned the little crowd in the apartment.

"He's not allowed here." Eponine spat.

It was soon clear that Marius had not heard of what happened the day before. So he asked, genuinely confused, "Why?"

"Because he's an asshole who should treat Cosette's god sister better." Eponine growled.

Bousset stood up, tripped over his own feet, but eventually made it to Marius. He whispered in his ear and Marius's face went from confusion, to anger, to thoughtfulness, and then back to anger. Cosette had obviously heard as she had to step in René's room and scream into a pillow. Marius and Cosette grabbed the pillows and make a make-shift couch with everyone's legs as their back. Together, they went through _Spaceballs, Batman and Robin, _and someone even found _The Room._ On cue, everyone in the room shouted, "You're tearing me apart Lisa!"

That next day, Eponine decided that the Les Amis de l'ABC were the best things to ever happen to René. She'd barely drunk that past Saturday and Sunday, plus she'd woken up by herself on Monday. Even though she knew they'd run into Enjolras at their Philosophy class, Eponine couldn't help but smile the entire way to school.

* * *

"C'mon guys this is gonna be good. The TA always has a stick up his ass, this will loosen him up." Montparnasse laughed and handed out bags of flour.

"This isn't funny Montparnasse." Eponine growled, sitting at her usual spot at René's feet.

"Relax; it'll be a great joke." Montparnasse dismissed her and propped the bucket of what René thought was water on the door.

"This is stupid." René tried. "C'mon people, we're in college, we should be above this!"

"Stupidity is funny, baby." Montparnasse grins. "Besides, you two are always at odds so I thought you would like this."

"I could never like this." René spat.

"Well, there's nothing you can to stop this." Montparnasse shot.

"I'm going to laugh so hard when Larmarque walks through that door." René chuckled bitterly.

"He's not gonna, baby." Montparnasse laughed. "Larmarque is gonna be late. One of my friends 'accidentally' spilled coffee on his suit."

"He's coming." Said one of the other students whose name René hadn't bothered learning.

Everyone went quiet, Eponine muttered, "I don't like this", and then all hell broke loose.

Enjolras opened the door, the bucket fell onto his head, making contact with a sickening 'thud', and as the _honey_ was rolling off, everyone started to throw the flour at him. Everyone started laughing, and Enjolras put his hands up to try and protect himself from the onslaught of flour sticking to the cascading honey running down his body.

"Enough!" René screamed, her voice so strong and commanding even Montparnasse, who was entirely caught up in the 'joke' he was pulling, froze.

Enjolras was panting, eyes slightly wild from fear, and began slinking out the door.

"Eponine, you stay here and make sure everyone involved is prosecuted to the fullest extent to the university rules. And if they don't believe you, I know at least two of them videotaped it on their phones. And if you delete it, I will be most upset as I know they will Enjolras's word over yours. Don't worry about me, Ep. I'll be all right without you." René announced, and everyone started looking sheepish as she passed. She gently put her fingertips on Enjolras's arm before grabbing his arm just as gently to prevent him from being scared of her.

"C'mon. I'll take you home." René said softly.

Enjolras nodded, his body shaking underneath René's grip. Quietly, she led him back to the dorms.

"Are your roommates going to be home?" René asked casually.

"No. Combeferre is interning until four and Courf has class until five." Enjolras explained.

"Good, then I won't have to explain much." René muttered as Enjolras shakily got out his keys. She gently helped him slide the keys in and unlocked the door. She led him to his bedroom, the big E on the door helped, and stood outside.

"Change into something you don't mind getting wet and bring me your clothes when you're done." She softly insisted and he nodded.

She turned around and waited until he was out. He gave her the shirt and pants, which she proceeded to lay out on the table. Now he wore no shirt and sweatpants advertising the school's track team. If she hadn't been so focused on helping him, she would've noticed Enjolras's brilliant six pack and lean muscles.

"Go into the bathroom and sit down on the edge of the tub." She said as she washed the flour out of his shirt and pants. The usually passionate and outspoken man simply nodded quietly and did as he was told. It seemed even the most dominating of people still could be submissive in some way.

Once she finished washing out the honey and flour, she laid them out to dry and went into the bathroom. Enjolras's golden hair was matted with honey and flour, and the tears leaking from his eyes did nothing to help the stickiness on his face. She wet a washcloth and started lightly wiping the floured honey clear from his face, ignoring the tears. She said nothing the entire time, as did he. In silence, their heartbeats started to match one another's. One calming, the other afraid.

As she finished his face, neck and hands, she said, "Turn around so I can get this shit out of your hair."

Enjolras nodded and did as he was told. Taking hold of the blonde locks, she grabbed the brush Enjolras claimed as his own which she had already wet, and started to run the brush through his hair. This task was much more daunting and more time consuming, which Enjolras was aware of.

"I'll tell Professor Larmarque what you're doing for me." Enjolras said, his voice shaking ever-so-slightly. "I'll make sure you don't miss anything, if he decides to continue the lecture."

"Don't worry about that right now." René dismissed.

"No, I want to make sure you know." Enjolras pressed.

"I do know. Now hush. Am I incorrect to assume that something like this has happened before?" She asked.

"In a way, no. My family did not care to have me around so I was shipped off to boarding schools. Looking the way I do, I was subjected to much… hazing and some of it was much too far." He answered.

"I can understand that." She said bitterly, unknotting some of the matting honey.

"Why?" He asked. "I should've asked this a long time ago but what's your story?"

"When I lost my parents, and Eponine first truly came into my life, I was singled out. I became _that_ kid. I would get tripped down the stairs, pushed into lockers, and even hit occasionally. I wasn't just an easy target; they wanted to see if pain could induce my seizures. They thought it was funny." She responded.

"What? How could a seizure possibly be funny?" Enjolras demanded, sounding a little more like the passionate revolutionary she was used to.

"I'm not quite sure. Perhaps they had never seen one and they wished to experience watching one." She shrugged.

"Did they?" He whispered.

"Yes. Three times. All three times Eponine was either somewhere else or they were holding her back. I nearly bit my tongue off the second time. I actually had to get stitches on my tongue." She breathed.

"Good God." He matched her tone.

"Would you like to know why Eponine sits at my feet?" She asked.

"I know why... Courf said…. I never asked, did I?" He stuttered.

"No." She responded softly. "That doesn't matter now."

"Why does she sit there?" He asked.

"Because after my parents died, and the true torment started, I developed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The seizures became so bad that there were times I couldn't leave the house. I got over it, but not the paranoia I had of my classmates. I was always so scared that they were going to hurt me, Eponine, or try to induce a seizure that occasionally I would just bolt out of the door during class. Eponine could always catch me, but occasionally I got a good start on her and it took a while. So she took to sitting on my feet so I couldn't run away. That was sophomore year. By senior year, everything had calmed down. Well, that's not entirely true. Everyone felt bad for me. My older brother Ryan, off at college, this college to be exact, was hit by a drunk driver. He was walking back to his dorm from track practice. The driver walked away and my brother ended up in a coma, completely brain-dead. We turned off the machines just before I started here, but he was dead long before that. When he was hit, most everyone backed off. But I'd gotten so used to her being there that when she doesn't sit at my feet; I'm more likely to run off." She explained.

"That's horrible." He said after a while.

"That's my life. Why fight what defines you?" She shrugged.

"It only defines you if you let it." He murmured.

She didn't answer. She just kept teasing his golden curls with the hairbrush as the honey flour slowly came out of his hair.

"Wait a minute, Ryan Grantaire? As in the Ryan Grantaire who broke the record for the fastest in the 200 meter dash?" He asked.

"Yeah that's him. I said he went here." She agreed.

"I knew him. He was a dick." He said absentmindedly.

"Excuse me?" She pulled on the hairbrush causing him to wince.

"I'm sorry that was rude of me. Ryan was simply… to be perfectly frank, he was obnoxious and arrogant." He apologized.

"Oh I know he was. I don't like it being pointed out, though. He could be detestable at times but he was my brother. He was only family I had left." She clarified.

"I see." He muttered.

"He was Courfeyrac's friend. And we have the same last name. How didn't you known we were family?" She laughed.

"I just didn't make the connection. You look nothing alike and you act completely different. Ryan wasn't a drunk or epileptic." Enjolras mused.

"Well, now you know." René said.

After that, she continued on in silence and he allowed himself to relax slightly, the fear ebbing away and his heart calming down. About an hour passed before she finished.

"You might want to take a shower. Make sure I got everything." She shifted somewhat uncomfortably.

He nodded. "Make yourself at home. I think there's food in the kitchen if you're hungry. I…"

She smiled, understanding. Enjolras didn't want to be alone so while he was showering, she rested on his sofa. She knocked back a couple shots from her flask, and decided to fix Enjolras some food to help with the slight tremors she felt when helping him. Without paying much attention, and not knowing much of what she could work with in his kitchen, after fifteen minutes of relentless searching she found almost nothing edible, she went into the bathroom to ask if he had any pasta. Enjolras was already out of the shower and, luckily, had a towel wrapped around his waist. Water dripped down his chiseled chest, the darker tones in his hair making his eyes pop, and his breaths coming nice and slow. One drop cascaded down to his lower lip and unconsciously he licked his lip to clear away the water.

"I am so sorry, I wasn't listening and I didn't hear the water turn off, and oh God you're sexy oh I said that out loud okay I think I'm just going to go back to the living room." She stuttered, gulped, wide eyed, and ran outside. Enjolras dressed quickly and met her in the kitchen where René was knocking back drink after drink.

"I was going to make something for you to eat but since your kitchen is about as stocked as the desert so maybe we should just go out, my treat. Not on a date, of course, just two people eating lunch together and I'm shutting up now." She stumbled and blushed beet red.

"I'd like that." He smiled a little, blushing as well.

* * *

**I know I don't usually update this fast but when I woke up, I just couldn't stay away from my keyboard. Hopefully, Enjolras isn't too out of character. Keep reviewing if you want me to continue this! Adieu, mon chers.**


	6. Chapter 6

They walked in silence, which was slightly awkward, but they fell into step with the other so Enjolras considered that a win. Somehow, they both ended up at the Musain.

"Have you ever eaten here?" Enjolras asked.

"You know, now that I think about it, I haven't. I've had their drinks, you've seen that but I've never actually had their food." Grantaire answered.

"It's pretty good. That's how we first found it. Combeferre, Courfeyrac and I had all just been assigned as roommates, and we were all hungry but no one had thought to buy food. So we all went out and found our way here. We were so starving we saw the word café and went inside, not even bothering to check if we could even eat here. Luckily, it wasn't expensive and it tasted delicious." Enjolras said, opening the door for her.

"Quite the gentleman, aren't you?" She teased.

He didn't respond that. They were sat at a small booth in the back, and ordered their Cokes.

"I didn't see you as a Coke man." She scrutinized him with her eyes.

"I drink soda, same as most everyone else. Did you think I went for Pepsi?" He responded in kind.

"I saw you as the 'Do you know what kind of chemicals they put in soda?' kind of guy." She admitted.

"That's Joly." He quipped and they laughed.

He started, "So when Eponine was yelling at me, she said you had depression, and I was wondering-"

"Shut up." She said coldly. Her ice blue eyes flashed with anger.

Surprised, he did.

"I don't need your pity. I've had shit in my life, I've told you about that. But I don't need you asking me about it or if I'm on medication. And I certainly don't need the number of a good therapist because the last one I went to- didn't end well for him." She hissed, her voice hard as steel.

"Will you let me finish?" He interjected as she took a breath.

She quirked an eyebrow with false patience on her face.

"I was wondering if that has ever influenced your music." He finished.

Her mouth hung open as she gaped at him. She closed it when she realized it was open, but her incredulous expression remained.

"Um, occasionally. I never really thought about it that way. When I was younger, I just played whatever was on my mind. Still kind of do." She shrugged.

"Interesting. I ask, because many popular artists say when they experience such feelings they incorporate it into their music." He explained.

"Popular artists? What are your popular artists? What do you listen to?" She asked.

"Depends. I go from Kings of Leon to Bobby Darin to Taylor Swift. I'm a bit eclectic." He answered.

Their drinks arrived and they ordered food.

"All right. You ever listen to Green Day?" She tested.

"No. Should I?" He responded, laughing at her expression.

"Definitely. It fits with your political agenda, well some of American Idiot does, and the rhythm just gets you going. It's punk rock, and it might be a little heavy but I think you'd enjoy it." She offered, smiling slightly.

He rather liked her smile. It was soft and warm. Unlike her sneer, what he saw every meeting.

"Thanks for the recommendation." He said, heartfelt.

She shrugged. "It's nothing. I'll just play some at the next open mike night this place has."

"Would you? I'll be delighted to hear you play." He smiled back.

"You say that as if you've never heard me play." She cocked her head in confusion.

"That's because I haven't." He confessed. "The first time I went outside to calm down and by the time I came back in, you had already left. And at the homeless shelter, I was too angry to hear you."

"Well you can hear me next time. When will that be? You said you're the ones who put it on ." She dismissed.

"Friday. I promise I'll be there." He assured her.

"Fantastic. It's only Monday and already I have a fan who can't wait for my next performance!" She overdramatized.

Just then, their food was delivered. Their speech slowed as they enjoyed their food. Once their plates had been cleared away, they resumed.

"Have you ever read Plato's _Republic_?" He asked her.

"Twice." She responded immediately, surprising him. "During the times I couldn't leave the house, I read basically my godfather's entire library. Plato was one of his favorites."

"And what did you think of it?" He inquired.

"It was… interesting. I agree with his view of justice but not with democracy. If every single person participates in government, even more nothing will happen. Plus, there's the fact that neither slaves nor women were allowed to participate so I'm not a big fan on that, obviously." She mused.

When the check came, Grantaire went to her purse but Enjolras already had his card on the table.

"I said it was my treat." She protested.

"That you did. Did you truly believe I would make you pay for food after what you did for me?" The _And-what-I-did-to-you_ went unspoken.

"Can I at least pay for my half?" She tried weakly.

"No." He spoke resolutely and handed the check to the waitress.

She sighed. "I was right before. Quite the gentleman."

"My momma raised me right." He shrugged.

She burst out laughing.

"It seems Mr. Spock just made a joke." She gasped out.

"Mr. Spock?" He asked, incredulous.

Suddenly, she stopped laughing. "Are you telling me, you've never heard of Star Trek?"

"I've heard of it. I just never had the time to watch it." He explained.

"Okay, either when Eponine lets you back in our apartment or the next time I go over to your place, I'm so bringing Star Trek. All seven of them. Six are of the original series and the seventh is the reboot version with Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto and Karl Urban, all three being gorgeous people and amazing actors." She promised.

He raised his eyebrows. Seven movies? He had no time for that and he voiced such.

"I'm pretty sure Combeferre would agree with me when I say sometimes you need to take a day off." She said.

Her phone rang as the waitress came back with his card.

"It's my godfather. I need to take this." She said and stepped aside, thinking she was out of earshot.

She wasn't.

He felt wrong for listening to her call, but he couldn't help it.

"Jean… look what was I supposed to do… no, no, I'm fine… she's what… but I… yes, sir…" she sighed "… yes, sir… I took Enjolras out to lunch… yes, that Enjolras… no, Jean… I'm okay I swear… I… no he hasn't said... yes, sir… I understand… I'll be back as soon as I can." With each word, it seemed, her shoulders slumped. She ran a hand down her face as her expression went from bad to worse. She stepped back over.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Eponine told Jean, my godfather, about what you said to me on Friday and now I'm not allowed to see you. He says I have to come home immediately and I can't see you again. Now I know he's just angry and possessive so we just have to wait until this blows over and then it'll be like normal." She said in one breath.

_It will never be like normal. Not if I can help it._ He thought.

"I'll walk you to your dorm." He offered.

"Thanks but it's probably best if I just go." She fumbled around standing back up.

He stood up with her. "It wasn't a question. I'm going to walk you to your dorm. If only for the fact that first year college students are at the most danger for getting attacked and/or killed when they walk alone. At night or in the plain light of day."

She sighed but accepted his company. Their walk was once again in silence. She could not meet his eyes, blushing each time she tried to. Awkward tension settled between them so much that Enjolras could barely breathe. When they arrived, and it was discovered Grantaire didn't have her key, "Ep always carries it." he knocked. Eponine answered. She said nothing as she looked at Enjolras with hatred like he'd never seen. She grabbed Grantaire's arm and pulled her inside.

"Stay away from her." She growled.

"I'm-" She slammed the door in face, "sorry."

He stayed there for a couple minutes before heading home. He had never been so completely wrong before. Grantaire was not useless, nor pathetic, and she was much more than the drunken cynic than he had first seen. He had broken one of his own major rules: don't judge a book by its cover. Or, in this case, don't judge a girl by her drink.

* * *

Eponine realizes she's made a mistake when René won't even get up the next day. She'd told Eponine what transpired during the lunch, and then went to her room and slept for the rest of the day. She can't stay awake, one of the symptoms that her depression has returned, and she won't even leave the bed for bacon. She won't even respond to threats of antidepressants and therapists. So she goes to her final resort. She called Jean Valjean.

"I don't know what brought this on. She said lunch went great, and there wasn't anything in class that should've tipped her off. But she refuses to get out of bed today." Eponine said.

Jean sighed. "I was afraid of that. Her friends were only a temporary fix."

"Actually, I think it's because we forbade her to see Enjolras again. She didn't relapse until Monday, after we told her she couldn't see him again. You should hear her sing his praises." Eponine ventured quietly.

"After what he said to her? You want her to see that boy again?" Jean asked, incredulous.

"I think she's in love with him. Or the idea of him anyways. He did walk her home so she would be safe." Eponine tried.

"Did he apologize?" Jean asked.

"She never told me. I assume he did." Eponine said.

Jean sighed again. "All right. Whether we approved or not, she'd still see him in class. See what happens when you tell her she can see him again."

Eponine nodded and knocked on René's door again.

"I just got off the phone with Jean, R. He said he was overreacting when you couldn't see Enjolras again. You can see him as much as you want. Well, as much as he'll let you." Eponine said.

There still came no answer. Eponine bit her lip, thinking. René could easily think they were lying to get her out of bed. Sadly, they'd done it before. In Eponine's defense, René hadn't left her room for over two weeks and Eponine was worried she was going to starve to death if she didn't intervene. That only left one answer. She had to prove to her friend that she'd made a mistake.

**Me: Ferre, is Enjolras home?**

_Ferre: Yes. Why?_

**Me: I need him. Tell him to come to mine and René's apartment. It's very urgent.**

**Me: Also, tell him I won't rip his balls off.**

**Me: Just… tell him to hurry.**

A few minutes later.

_Ferre: He's on his way. Is something wrong? When he came back yesterday, he looked like he'd been through hell. He didn't sleep last night. I caught him making coffee at three in the morning._

**Me: Did you hear about the Philosophy class thing?**

_Ferre: WHAT Philosophy class thing?_

She took a couple minutes explaining what happened the past day. Combeferre took a while in replying.

_Ferre: I'm going to see them all slaughtered._

**Me: I already did. It's up to the Dean of Students now. I've reported them all, and the idiots videotaped the whole thing, including René being badass, and it was all taken care of.**

_Ferre: I still wish to slaughter them all. And I can do it too._

**Me: I don't think you could.**

_Ferre: You doubt?_

**Me: I doubt. You're too nice. Enjolras, maybe, with his passion and Bahorel definitely, with his fists. But not you. Plus, do no harm.**

_Ferre: You're right._

**Me: Of course I'm right. I'm a girl. Girls are always right.**

_Ferre: I'll be sure to remember that._

**Me: And there's Enjolras at the door. Gotta go.**

She answered as quickly as she could. Enjolras was wary, rightfully so, and confused.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

And Combeferre was right. He looked like Hell. His blonde hair was unkempt and not in its usual black tie, his skin was slightly flushed and his passionate blue eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot.

"Look. We overreacted when we said she couldn't see you again. I just couldn't see her hurt like that again. Not after what's happened to her before. Except now, she won't come out of her room and she doesn't believe me when I say you can see her again. So I need you to knock on her door. It's not locked, but you should always knock before entering." Eponine explained.

He nodded and she led him to René's room. He knocked loudly.

"Grantaire! Open the door." He exclaimed.

"Go away!" She screamed back.

So he swung the door open. She was wrapped up in her blankets, like a cocoon, and only her eyes were visible.

"I said go away." She tried weakly.

"And I ignored it." He said as he inspected her room.

"Not to your standards, Apollo?" She climbed out of bed and stared at him.

He glanced at her, did a double take of her in her nightgown, which was little more than an oversized T-Shirt, before covering his eyes with both hands.

"I think I'll step out so you can get some clothes on." He squeaked and Eponine led him out.

"I'm making lunch. You want anything?" Eponine offered. She still didn't trust the guy but if he could get René out of bed, it was worth being nice to the guy.

"No thank you I'm not hungry." He answered politely.

She pointed him over to the couch.

Once René came out, dressed in a loose white T-Shirt and Jeans, Eponine pulled her aside.

"I still don't trust him. Now, I'm willing to have him over and stuff but if he says one thing I don't like, I'm kicking him out. Got it?" Eponine threatened.

René rolled her eyes and went over to the couch.

"No need." René laughed quietly.

"What do you mean?" Eponine asked.

"He's conked out on our couch." René smiled and started snapping pictures with her phone.

* * *

**Hello, so once again when it comes to depression, I only have access to the Internet. If it's wrong, feel free to tell me. Hopefully, this isn't out of character. A girl can pray. I'll update as soon as I can, college homework is slightly unpredictable. And by slightly I mean completely. Adieu, mon chers.**


	7. Chapter 7

_"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road_  
_Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go_  
_So make the best of this test, and don't ask why_  
_It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_  
_I hope you had the time of your life._

_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind_  
_Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time_  
_Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial_  
_For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_  
_I hope you had the time of your life._

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_  
_I hope you had the time of your life._

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_  
_I hope you had the time of your life."_

Another explosive round of applause echoed through the Musain. But René only had eyes for one man in the audience. She stood, did her little bow and stepped offstage. Eponine sat in between them, as she still hadn't forgiven Enjolras, and she sat beside her.

"I take it that was Green Day." Enjolras said, amused.

"That it was. The album's called Nimrod. I can give it to you if you like." René offered.

Enjolras's eyes twinkled. "I'd like that."

"In fact, you can take her whole collection. She blasts it and I'm tired of hearing it." Eponine interjected.

"I do not!" René protested.

"I can hear you when I'm in the shower. And your room is on the other side of the apartment." Eponine deadpanned.

"Okay, so maybe I do a little." René smirked.

"And how is my beautiful vocalist darling?" Courfeyrac nuzzled Rene's neck, startling her.

"Don't do that!" René complained.

Courfeyrac just laughed.

"Excuse me? May I borrow Eponine for a moment?" Combeferre asked, coming up to their table.

"What for?" Eponine responded, glaring suspiciously at Enjolras.

"You promised you would help me with my physical examination last week." Combeferre reminded.

"Oh all right. I did promise." Eponine conceded and stood. René went to scoot into the other chair next to Enjolras but Eponine threw Courfeyrac into it before she could move.

"I want no funny business while I'm gone." Eponine threatened.

"Well so much for my plans for the night." René teased.

Enjolras went pink, Eponine glared, and Courfeyrac laughed again.

"No worries, little Ponine, I shall endeavor to see the star-crossed lovers parted." Courfeyrac gave a rather ostentatious wink.

Eponine rolled her eyes and let Combeferre drag her away.

"If the lady is free, I'd love to offer her a dance." Jehan's voice came from Enjolras's side.

He bowed and offered his hand.

"Well who am I to refuse such a gentleman a dance?" She grinned and accepted his hand.

The music was loud and prompted the style of dancing René knew as grinding. The singer was decent, not horrible but no Billy Joe Armstrong. As René had never learned to dance, she let him twirl her around the floor with abandon. She was a bit clumsy in her steps but Jehan either didn't notice or didn't mind. The music slowed down on the next song. Jehan put one hand on her waist and clasped his hand in hers. Shakily, she put his hand on his shoulder and he led her across the floor. There was no singer this time, just someone older playing piano that she didn't recognize.

"That's Father Myriel. He comes here sometimes and plays to try and inspire people to come to church." Jehan explained as he waltzed with her.

"I see." René smiled at him.

"Are you busy tomorrow night?" Jehan asked lightly but she could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

"I have midterms to study for but nothing that can't be put off. What did you have in mind?" René answered.

"Well, maybe we could go out for dinner and a movie. They're rescreening _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_, it did really well here, and maybe we could go see it together." Jehan offered.

That is a date he's offering.

A _date_.

Holy crap.

She wasn't expecting that.

At all.

"Uh, I've never seen that movie." Was the first thing René knew she said.

"It's really good. I think you'll really like it." Jehan tried.

"Sure, then ." René tried for a smile and Jehan beamed. He hugged her tightly and spun her around. He kissed her cheek and danced with something only known as 'being Jehan'. They danced even after open mike night was over and the radio was broadcast over the speakers. Only when René struggled to breathe right did they stop. Enjolras's hand was on her back as soon as she couldn't draw a full breath. He led her over to the nearest open chair and Jehan brought her a glass of water, at Enjolras's order. She was much too focused on drawing a full breath to wonder how Enjolras had gotten over to her so quickly.

"Are you feeling all right? Do I need to fetch Combeferre? Or Joly, I'm sure he's here too." Enjolras searched her face for any indication of distress.

"No, no, I'm good. It happens sometimes when I get too tired and excited at the same time. I'll be perfectly fine." René dismissed, trying to stand.

Enjolras pushed her back down. He looked around for Eponine but she was nowhere to be found. And, not surprisingly, neither was Combeferre.

"I'm taking you home." Enjolras announced as she drained the water Jehan had got her.

"There's no need. I'm perfectly fine. And who made you my keeper anyways?" René shot.

"That is not up for discussion. Prouvaire find Eponine and tell her I'm taking Grantaire home." Enjolras commanded.

Jehan nodded after giving a sympathetic smile to René.

"And I will carry you so you might want to get up." Enjolras said sternly.

"Screw off, Enjolras." René tried pushing past him but he held her wrist firmly.

"I'm serious. Do you not take your health seriously?" Enjolras asked.

She looked in his passionate blue eyes and saw nothing but worry. This is why she hated being an epileptic. People treated her like she was _delicate_.

"I do. I don't need everyone else to take it seriously. I'm not made of glass." René whispered.

"I'm still taking you home. If nothing more than because I don't want you collapsing on the way home." Enjolras matched her tone.

René sighed, saw she wasn't going to win this one, especially when Eponine found out she lost her breath.

"Fine. You drive?" René started gathering her stuff before she noticed something was horribly, inconceivably, irrevocably wrong. "Where's my guitar?"

* * *

"I haven't seen it since you and Prouvaire starting dancing." Enjolras answered, looking around him.

She ran to where she had it last and panicked when it wasn't there.

"Oh God, where's my guitar?" She shrieked.

Enjolras saw her hands start to shake. "Somebody find Combeferre!"

"Oh, God, where is my guitar?! Please has anyone seen my guitar?!" Grantaire panicked, panting as if she'd just run a marathon.

"It's okay. We'll find it. Someone probably just moved it so it didn't get broken." Enjolras did his best to try and soothe her but it did almost no good.

"You don't understand! My parents gave that guitar to me! It's the only thing I have of them left! Where the Hell is it?" She started hyperventilating as Combeferre showed up, Eponine behind him.

"Grantaire, I need you to look at me. Everyone is looking for your guitar. Look at me, Grantaire." Combeferre tried.

Wild eyes met calm, collected ones and her breaths started to slow. Enjolras's blue met Eponine's chocolate brown with a cocked eyebrow.

"We need to find that guitar. She'll calm down when she gets her guitar back. The faster we find it, the better she'll be." Eponine muttered and they started searching the entire Musain for it.

"Feuilly, Cosette, have you seen Grantaire's guitar?" Enjolras asked as he looked under the bar.

"I haven't. I'll get the security tapes and see what I can find." Feuilly offered.

"I wish I could say I have. Give her this. It'll help." Cosette offered a drink and Enjolras brought it over.

"This is from Cosette. She said it will help." Enjolras whispered to Combeferre.

Grantaire had been reduced to a shaking, blubbering mess in an attempt to both freak out completely and stave off a seizure. She grabbed the liquor from him and knocked it back in one gulp. Neither student missed the way her shoulders relaxed ever-so-slightly as she drank.

"It seems contradictable, but the drunker she gets, the more she forgets what's scaring her and the more control she has." Eponine muttered as she passed them while still looking for the guitar.

"I've found it!" Prouvaire screamed, running out of the men's bathroom, said guitar clutched in his hand.

Grantaire ran to him and kissed him full-on in the mouth. She grabbed her guitar and didn't break the kiss. It seemed like an eternity until they pulled apart.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. Those words cannot express the gratitude I'm feeling towards you right now." Grantaire whispered, hugging him tightly.

"The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it." Prouvaire quoted. "Bach."

"Didn't he do symphonies or something?" Grantaire asked.

"Different Bach. This one was an American writer." Prouvaire explained.

"Cool. Do you memorize all poets?" Grantaire asked.

Enjolras noticed exactly when Prouvaire linked their hands together.

"Just the good ones." Prouvaire teased and Grantaire laughed.

"All right. That's enough excitement for tonight. I'm not having you lose tonight because you're too happy. Thanks again Jehan." Eponine started to lead her friend out the door.

"Wait! For Saturday. We didn't decide a time." Grantaire pulled back.

Prouvaire brought out his phone and typed something on it. "There's a showing at two fifteen?"

Eponine pursed her lips in confusion and looked over René's shoulder.

"You can_not_ watch that movie, sweetie." She said.

"I don't mind crying at movies." Grantaire debated.

"Nothing to do with crying. The main character has a nervous breakdown. You can't watch that movie." Eponine explained.

"I can't watch that movie. Is there anything else we can see?" Grantaire scrolled through Prouvaire's phone.

"Despicable Me 2?" Prouvaire offered.

"Ooh I loved the first one. I've been meaning to see the sequel. What time is that?" Grantaire agreed.

"Five thirty. That all right, Eponine?" Prouvaire asked.

"Her schedule will be clear." Eponine assured him.

Prouvaire kissed her cheek, causing a light blush from Grantaire. "I'll pick you up at five."

"I'll be ready." Grantaire promised and quickly returned the kiss as Eponine handed her a packed guitar case. Eponine shuffled a beyond blushing Grantaire out the door.

"Ah, bad luck, mate. You should've moved faster." Courfeyrac patted his shoulder but his smile was false.

"I had no intention of dating Grantaire. She can date whoever she wants. I don't care." Enjolras dismissed the pain in his heart as the adrenaline of the night wearing off. And when it persisted, Enjolras repeated the words 'I don't care' until it became a mantra. However, it didn't stop the uncomfortable twinge still in his heart.

"You're such a liar, Enjy." Courfeyrac laughed and went off to whatever tail he was chasing that night. Although something kept him from having his heart in it, Enjolras noticed. Maybe it was hard seeing Grantaire grow up a little.

Enjolras next went to Combeferre. "Where were you?"

"Performing a physical examination on a patient." Combeferre shrugged. "Ponine tripped going out the door and I had to make sure her wrist wasn't sprained as well as my assignment."

"When did she become Ponine?" Enjolras asked.

"Courfeyrac calls her that." Combeferre dodged but a light blush peppered his cheeks.

"Enjolras, I have the security tapes." Feuilly interrupted them.

Enjolras nodded and Feuilly brought him and Combeferre up to the tape room. Feuilly fast forwarded through most of the day. When Grantaire started dancing with Jehan is when they stopped it.

"You did the right thing. She needed to go home and rest." Combeferre whispered, so low only Enjolras could hear, when it showed Grantaire losing her breath. He hadn't realized how much he looked like of an overbearing asshole.

They watched as a semi-familiar obnoxious boy waltzed in and simply picked her guitar up, away from Courfeyrac who was thought to be guarding it and instead was enjoying a girl's company on his lap.

"I'm going to kill him." Enjolras muttered under his breath.

"If the Amis don't catch him first." Combeferre mused.

"I have no plans of telling them until after I've caught him." Enjolras stood sharply and went to go kick ass.

"Enjolras you don't even know where he is. Calm down, let's all discuss this rationally." Combeferre said and Enjolras sighed. He hated it when Combeferre was always right.

Bahorel. "That bastard! That dead bastard!"

Marius. "Why would he do such a thing?"

Joly. "Oh I hope he catches Malaria! And TB! And HIV! All at the same time!"

Bousset. "Oh whatever god is up there, please give him a little of my luck just for a couple days. He should be dead by then."

Courfeyrac. "No girl is going to give him the time of day after this!"

Cosette. "I thought he was banned from here."

Feuilly. "No, just the bar. However, an argument can made for the entire restaurant now."

Surprisingly, it was Marius who persevered. "But why did he do it?"

"I intend on asking." Enjolras said coldly.

* * *

It took all weekend to find him. But after using some of Larmarque's files, which technically he didn't because he was supposed to stay out of them and not use them for his own personal gain, he found the dorm room. He pounded on the door, then texted the Amis the address. He didn't include in the text that he was there, as he knew everyone was going to head over there and make sure he paid for what he did to their friend and would most likely find him there. A man he didn't recognize answered the door.

"I'm looking for Montparnasse."

* * *

**So this is me at one in the morning prepping for my speech class. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger... NOT! I'm just mean that way. Mwa ha ha ha ha! Anyways, as a normal disclaimer, I do not know anyone epileptic and can only use the internet as a judge for it. If it's wrong, please tell me. I'd like to be as accurate as I can. Until the next chapter, adieu mon chers.**


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Grantaire's shriek startled him, causing him to jar his injuries. She saw his wince and was caught trying to help him and not touching him.

"I left you alone for two days what the hell!" Grantaire said a mix of confusion and anger on her face.

"I'm fine." Enjolras assured her.

"No you're not. Don't you lie to me, Julien Enjolras." Grantaire jabbed her finger into his ribs. Then furiously backpedaled when he winced.

"Oh God do you need to go to the hospital? I'll send Ep to get Combeferre." Grantaire panicked.

"Combeferre has already looked me over. I have no broken bones and I'll heal just fine. Just take a little time." Enjolras promised.

"I'm waiting for the 'you should see the other guy' comment." She said dryly.

"Oh you won't be seeing him. At all. Ever again." Enjolras responded.

"Oh? You know I can defend my own honor." She tried.

"Had nothing to do with honor. He stole your guitar. I made sure he would never touch it again. Or go near you. Ever again." Enjolras explained.

"Who was it? Jehan never told me. He just looked at his phone, cursed a lot, and left saying he was going to meet the biggest idiot on campus." Grantaire asked.

"Montparnasse. And he might have been cursing because Combeferre was very angry in his texts." Enjolras shrugged, eliciting another wince.

"Okay, sit down." Grantaire ordered.

Only then Enjolras noticed she was alone.

"Where's Eponine?" Enjolras asked.

"Jehan needed her for something." At the very mention of Prouvaire, her face brightened and she smiled.

Enjolras saw what was happening first. Eponine came in holding one the biggest bouquets of roses with little notes stuffed in the spaces between them.

"He wanted to drop these off himself but he had to get to class. He says he's thinking of you whenever he braids flowers into his hair." Eponine smiled and set the bouquet on her desk.

"He's so adorable!" Grantaire smiled brightly and gratefully took in the scent of the flowers. She started to take out the notes and started to sort them according to the numbers on the notes that Enjolras did not care to notice.

"René reminds me of roses… from your ears to your toes-es… you are a beauty unsurpassed… it pains me to see you so downcast… hopefully this poem will help you smile… even though I know it's not your style… when you read this, I give you a kiss… and I try to send you some sweet bliss… so know that you're in my heart… and know that I hate being apart."

As if on cue, all the girls in the class sighed, "Aw."

Grantaire blushed deeply.

"I'm sure he adores you." Enjolras said, trying to keep his emotions out of his voice.

"Well if you don't want to be happy for me, Enjolras, don't be. But keep your voice down." Grantaire growled, looking a little hurt.

"I meant no offense." Enjolras tried.

"What's that supposed to mean? She's not good enough for him?" Eponine snarled.

"No, that's not what I meant at all." Enjolras backpedaled.

"I'm sorry. I won't broadcast me and Jehan anymore. I'm sorry if I offended you." Grantaire spat.

Grantaire sat in her sit with a huff, Eponine glaring from her spot on Grantaire's feet. She closed her eyes and the hurt expression eventually cleared itself off her face. He sighed, went to his desk and started grading today's papers. He hated women sometimes. One minute he was their hero, and the next their worst enemy.

His mind analyzed his… well it wasn't really an argument with Grantaire but it wasn't a conversation either. More of an accusation. Actually, it was Eponine who did the actual accusing. He had to figure out a way to get Eponine to forgive him. Otherwise, Grantaire was never going to trust him again.

* * *

**Me: Hello Eponine.**

_Eponine: Who is this?_

**Me: Enjolras. Combeferre gave me your number.**

_Eponine: I'm debating killing that boy._

**Me: Please don't. I'm trying to stop bloodshed.**

_Eponine: Stop the rhetoric, boy._

**Me: Would you like to go out with me?**

_Eponine: I can't think of anything worse._

**Me: Please. I need to talk to you.**

_Eponine: I don't want to talk to you._

**Me: Then why are you responding back?**

_Eponine: … Fine. What do you want to talk about?_

**Me: Grantaire.**

_Eponine: More ways to criticize her?_

**Me: Ways to stop criticizing her.**

_Eponine: What do you mean?_

**Me: I like to consider her my friend, and I have the bruises to prove it.**

_Eponine: Bruises? What do you mean?_

**Me: Didn't she tell you?**

_Eponine: I told her never to mention your name again. The only time I wanted to see you was in class, and at the Musain._

**Me: I got in a fight with the boy who tried to steal her guitar.**

_Eponine: Did you win?_

**Me: In a way. He wasn't in class today.**

_Eponine: Now that you mention it, class was missing obnoxiousness today._

**Me: If he's smart, he'll keep his head down. And away from her.**

_Eponine: All right. Where do you want to meet?_

**Me: Any place away from Grantaire. I don't want to talk behind her back but… you're more irritable when she's around me.**

_Eponine: She's going on a date tonight with Jehan. She'll be safe with him. He's picking her up at six thirty. You can come over at seven. Satisfied?_

**Me: As much as I can be.**

_Eponine: Don't be late._

He arrived exactly at seven.

"Get your ass in here." Eponine called out after his knock.

He opened the door and walked into their living room. Eponine was sitting on the chair with a glass of wine and a 'say-what-you-want-to' expression.

"Look. I like Grantaire. She's a nice person. I judged her too quickly before." Enjolras started.

"Listen. I know jealousy when I see it. You're a jealous man, Julien Enjolras. Only question is, what are you jealous of?" Eponine asked, scrutinizing him.

Enjolras stifled his urge to shift, and took a breath.

"I don't know yet." He answered honestly.

"All right. Are you in love with Jehan?" Eponine shrugged.

"No!" Enjolras practically jumped out of his skin and then quickly tried to salvage his reaction. "Not that I don't support homosexuality or bisexuality, it's just that I know I'm straight and men have never been attractive to me."

"Then are you in love with René?" Eponine asked.

"I… don't know. All I know is that I don't like it when she's mad at me." He answered.

"I can accept that." She responded. "Look, I'm not going to forgive you after one talk. I'm more inclined to because I asked why you had bruises and both Jehan and René answered you beat the crap out of Montparnasse for daring to steal her guitar. It's pretty clear that you care about her. So much that you took a good beating for her. Don't hide the winces, Enjolras, I know they're there. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to see Montparnasse. I'm not going to say everything's all right and we're hunky dory with sunshine and rainbows. However… I am going to say the animosity is gone. There is no love, make no mistake of that, but the hatred is gone."

He nodded and extended his hand towards her. She took it and they shook.

* * *

Jehan was a really great kisser. René loved his lips. She loved the feeling of his lips on her neck, on her collarbone and her shoulder. Jehan was over at her apartment most days, and when he wasn't there, he was texting or calling her. She loved when he was over there, snuggling up close to her and whispering poetry in her ear. And his voice. René loved his voice. When he whispered poetry, when he promised she was beautiful, when he wove a future of them together. The best part was she didn't have a seizure the entire time they were together. She drank, as she always did, but she never felt a seizure come on. Even Eponine allowed Enjolras around now, without killing him with her eyes. It was great.

And then she looked at Courfeyrac. She been so absorbed in her own life that she neglected to see one thing she really should've noticed the first time. Whenever she was with Jehan, Courfeyrac either disappeared or plastered a fake smile on his face.

"Courfeyrac, honey, talk to me a minute." René called out after an informal meeting. Jehan gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and Eponine started talking to Combeferre, as she always did. René had ideas about those two. She was thinking about starting a betting pool on them.

"Sure, R, what do you need?" Courfeyrac plastered another fake smile on his face.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked directly.

Courfeyrac looked taken aback. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. I know you're not. When you think I'm not looking, you look at me and Jehan really sad like. Like you want to be happy but you can't. What is it?" She pressed.

He sighed. "Look. There's someone I really like and whenever you're with Jehan, it always reminds me of him and his girlfriend. Get it?"

It didn't take long for René to figure out who the 'someone' was. God, she was blind.

So she smiled and gave him a pat on the head.

"Well, I don't think they'll be staying together much longer." She said with a suggestive wink.

He laughed and shrugged. "I don't know. They look very much in love. But thanks for the pep talk."

He kissed her cheek and headed out with Enjolras and Combeferre.

"So what were you talking with Courfeyrac about?" Eponine asked.

"Relationships. Like you and Combeferre soon enough." René gave her a nudge and Eponine shoved back.

"We aren't in a relationship." Eponine promised.

"Not yet." René said in a sing-song voice.

"Screw you." Eponine teased.

"No you'd rather screw Combeferre." René shot back.

* * *

"Hey, baby doll." Jehan gave her a kiss in greeting.

"Hey." René responded.

"Where's Eponine?" Jehan noticed her best friend's absence.

"Getting groceries. I can't drive, my condition doesn't allow it, it's why I like to walk everywhere, and we're running low on food so she decided I'd be safe with you." René said.

"Aw, I didn't know you couldn't drive. Don't worry, doll, when we get older, I'll be happy to drive you to everywhere you need to go." Jehan went in for another kiss but she stopped him.

"I think we need to talk, Jehan." René winced. Apparently she'd decided to go with cliché.

"It's only been a couple weeks." Jehan pulled back, confused.

"Let's sit down." René suggested.

He followed her to the kitchen.

"What do you want to talk about?" He eyed her worriedly.

"Sweetie, have you noticed that when we are together, Courfeyrac gets really sad?" She asked.

"No. I only watch you, not him." Jehan said, in an effort to be cute.

"Sweetie," She took a breath, "I think we should just be friends. I mean, we are moving a little fast, and I can't keep doing this to Courfeyrac."

"I don't see why you keep bringing him up." Jehan stated.

"Because I'm not going to be the girl who does the dick move and dates her friend's crush." René admitted.

"Courfeyrac… no… I love _you_." Jehan stuttered.

"And that's really cute but a) I'm not going to do that to my friend, and b) I'm not ready for that. We are moving pretty fast." René tried.

"But it shouldn't matter whether Courfeyrac approves of our relationship or not." Jehan tried.

"Jehan, you're a great guy. Trust me. This just isn't working out. It's not your fault I promise. And I still want to be friends. You're amazing." René said.

"I don't understand. If you say I'm such a great guy, then why are you breaking up with me?" Jehan asked, genuinely confused.

"You're _a_ great guy, Jehan. But I don't think you're _my_ great guy." René explained.

"It's because you're in love with Enjolras, isn't it?" Jehan sighed.

"What? No. Enjolras has nothing to do with it." René said.

"It's him, isn't it? You just don't want to say it. You only went out with me to get him jealous." Jehan accused.

"Enjolras has nothing to do with this!" René stood sharply, starting to get furious.

"Go be with Enjolras." Jehan spat and stormed out.

She sat back down and put her head in her hands. She missed Jehan look back to her, waiting for her to stop him. When she didn't, he sighed and left. He missed the tears running down her face.

* * *

"Come and help me carry in the food." Eponine called out as she entered the apartment.

Silence.

"Must have gone out with Jehan." Eponine muttered, smiling.

It had been a long time since she'd seen René that happy. In high school, she'd never had a boyfriend and Eponine was glad that René had finally found someone worthwhile. Jehan was sweet and caring. Something René desperately needed.

Then she tripped over something and she did her best not to spill anything. She set the groceries down and looked down to see what she tripped over. Her heart stopped. René lay motionless on the ground, her chest barely rising and falling. Immediately, Eponine went to her heart and, thankfully, found a strong pulse. It just seemed she had a seizure when Eponine hadn't been home. Wait, René'd asked Jehan to come over. That was the only reason she left René alone. Jehan wasn't one to squelch on a date. Eponine carried René to bed and tucked her in. René didn't wake the entire time. She wondered when the seizure was. Jehan may have thought no one was home. And René was doing so well. So she called Jehan to try and get to the bottom of this.

"Hello?" Answered a very strange sounding Jehan.

"Jehan? What's wrong with you?" Eponine asked.

"I'm over at Bahorel's place. He was the quickest one with alcohol." Jehan said.

"Are you drunk?" Eponine accused.

"Yep." Jehan hiccupped.

"Why are you drunk? René had a seizure and you never bail on anyone." Eponine questioned harshly.

"Didn't she tell you? She broke up with me." Jehan growled.

Thoroughly confused, Eponine said, "What the hell do you mean she broke up with you?"

"She broke up with me! We are no longer in a relationship. Terminated. Done. Over." Jehan yelled.

That must have been what set her off, Eponine thought.

"Well I'm sorry that happened but if she did it, she had a good reason." Eponine tried.

"Yeah. Her Apollo." Jehan snapped.

"René doesn't want a relationship with Enjolras. Even if she did, I wouldn't let her. Not yet." Eponine growled.

"Whoop di do." She could hear him rolling his eyes.

"Goodbye, Jehan. Talk to me when you're sober. I have enough problems with René." Eponine hung up.

She grabbed René's medication, and set it by her bed. Then she went back to the store and bought two six-packs of strong German beer.

* * *

**Hey guys! I'm back. Anyhoo, again, please I only have the Internet to understand epilepsy. If something is wrong, please tell me. I'd hate to be wrong or insult anyone. I'm finally settling in to my dorm room and schedule, so I should be able to update faster. Operative word being should. And if anyone doesn't get the beer reference, German beer is one the strongest in the world. I know. I got tipsy after one sip. Well, until next time. Adieu, mon chers.**


	9. Chapter 9

Enjolras found Grantaire drinking at the bar quite heavily when he arrived for the next informal meeting. She was knocking back shots like there was no tomorrow. Feuilly kept giving her worried looks but had to keep tending and Cosette was either off for the night or in the bathroom.

"I wouldn't go see her. Jehan and René broke up, and it wasn't pretty. She's been taking it hard." Eponine warned.

"She's my friend. I want to help her." Enjolras said.

"If she sends me away, she doesn't want anyone around. I'm just giving you fair warning. Dig your own grave if you want to." Eponine advised.

He ignored it.

He really shouldn't have but Grantaire needed someone to help her. Or so he thought.

His cheek stung fiercely before he heard the crack of the slap.

"I don't want to talk to anyone. Especially _you_." She spat.

"Why? I haven't done anything. I just want to help you." He tried.

"Help me? _Help me?!_ You bastard! That's what caused it! I told Jehan that I was pretty sure Courfeyrac was in love with him and instead of even listening to that, he just accused me of dating him to make _you_ jealous! As if I would ever do that! I'm not that kind of person. I mean, he was the one moving really fast, talking about how when we got older he would do this and that and he said he loved me after two weeks, even when I told him he was moving too fast all he cared about was _you_! About how everything I did was about _you_! I mean, I was just allowed to see you again when he asked me out. And I didn't kiss you when he found the guitar! I kissed _him_! And now I feel like crap because I was trying to do the right thing and he just ripped my heart in two before stomping on it like I was nothing to him! So, no, Enjolras, I don't want your help. I want to get plastered off my ass, and not see you again you until I forcibly have to. Goodbye!" She screamed.

He stood there for a second before going back over to Eponine.

"I know I shouldn't say this, but I kind of told you so." Eponine sighed.

With a couple snaps, she called Feuilly over to the table.

"Can you get me a bag of ice?" She asked.

"Sure." Feuilly agreed and went behind the counter.

He returned quickly.

"Feuilly, has she eaten anything?" Enjolras asked as Eponine put the ice on his cheek.

Feuilly shook his head.

"Make her something. Anything. Otherwise, she'll regret this more than she already does." He commanded.

Feuilly shrugged. "I'll see what I can do. I don't know if she'll eat it."

"And see if you can get some water into her too." Enjolras said.

Feuilly gave him an odd look Enjolras couldn't place and went to carry out his orders.

"You are a lot braver than me." Eponine remarked.

"No. Right now, I'm thinking stupider. And I hope she doesn't give Feuilly the lashing she gave me." Enjolras said.

"With her mood, anything's possible. I'm surprised she didn't go over the edge when she was yelling at you." Eponine commented dryly.

"I'm glad she didn't. I don't think I can stand watching her fall like that again." Enjolras admitted.

"It is scary. But don't worry. You stick with her long enough, it gets easier. It doesn't get less scary but it becomes easier to handle." Eponine noted.

"If you say so." Enjolras exhaled.

"I take it there's not going to be a meeting tonight?" Eponine asked.

"It was informal in the first place. Plus, you might like some company." Enjolras dismissed.

"You're taking this rather well." Eponine stated after a couple minutes of silence.

"Have you ever dealt with a hissy fit throwing Courfeyrac?" Enjolras asked.

"No." Eponine knit her eyebrows together in confusion.

Enjolras clarified. "That's much harder. Especially when Combeferre is not home. War is war, Hell is Hell, and that is worse than both."

* * *

Grantaire fell asleep in class the next Monday. He couldn't actually tell, as she was wearing sunglasses, her head was resting on her hand, and she didn't snore. Eponine was still scratching out notes, looking like she was paying attention. But Enjolras was pretty sure Grantaire'd fallen asleep.

Once class was over, Eponine walked over to him.

"You were staring because…" Eponine trailed off. Turns out he hadn't been as stealthy as he wanted to be.

"Is she asleep?" Enjolras asked.

"I have no idea. I just take her notes." Eponine shrugged.

Grantaire very slowly walked over to them. "Hey."

"Hi." Enjolras whispered. He was no stranger to hangovers, despite the fact he'd never had one. He'd watched Combeferre care for Courfeyrac through dozens of hangovers and he learned by observation.

"Can I talk to you?" Grantaire asked.

"Sure." Enjolras agreed.

"Alone, Ep. Wait outside and be happy with this." Grantaire croaked.

"I'm not arguing with you today." Eponine put her hands up and walked outside.

Enjolras dimmed the lights and she could take off the sunglasses, revealing her bloodshot (or at least more bloodshot than normal) blue eyes.

"Thanks. Look, I'm sorry for slapping you. I was angry and hurt and more than a little plastered." She started.

"Forget it. The bruise is gone. Combeferre is a miracle worker. It never happened." He promised.

"No, Enjolras, I want it to have happened. You don't need to remind me every single day, but I don't want to forget it. I'm not usually a violent drunk, and I really am sorry, now that I'm sober. I just needed to vent, I don't vent to Eponine it's not fair to her, she carries enough of my baggage, and you were an easy target. I didn't mean to slap you, it's just when you're drunk bad ideas seem like really good thoughts and I was so angry at you. It wasn't anything you'd done or even your intent because that was really sweet and I'm glad you wanted to help me but you were there and I slapped you. I'm sorry." She finished.

"You're forgiven." He assured her.

"I know that. It's just- look. I don't hide from my wrongdoings when I'm drunk. If I'm stupid enough to make the decision to do it, I have to be smart enough to take responsibility for it. Do you understand?" Grantaire tried.

"Perfectly." And he did.

She gave him a small smile. "All right. I'm going to go die in a very dark hole known as my bed."

"Good luck. Do try to stay alive for the next meeting. We'll be talking about the Pride Parade next month. It'll be fun to see you there." He offered.

"My brother Ryan was gay. I'll be there." She promised.

"And if there's anything I can do for you, I'm here. You have my number." He reminded her.

"There is one thing you can do." She requested, not looking at him.

"Name it." He prompted.

"Can you check on Courfeyrac for me? I haven't had the courage to talk to him because I don't want him to think that he broke me and Jehan up and he didn't. It was the whole me and Jehan thing wasn't going to work out and it wasn't his fault. I don't think I can handle more emotional stuff. I don't think my liver can take it." She asked.

"Sure. It might not be me, I'm not much of a people person, but I'll make sure someone gets to him." He swore.

Her smile widened a little. "Thanks."

* * *

The knock came late at night. Eponine had fallen asleep on the couch and René had only barely heard it. Thinking it might be Jean, she answered the door. Strangely, it was Jehan. He looked terrible. His braid was messy and he looked sad.

"Is there something I can do for you?" She asked.

"I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry." He mumbled, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Thank you. And I mean this with respect, go away before Eponine wakes up and tries to kill you." She said.

"I wanted to do this face-to-face. I don't want to be more of a dick." Jehan tried.

"I know, sweetie, but Eponine is kind of a force to be avoided. She'll calm down. She can't protect me from everything. But right now is still too soon. So go home and text me. I'll be up." René shooed him away and closed the door.

_Jehan: I'm sorry._

**Me: You said that.**

_Jehan: I meant it. I wasn't thinking. I was hurt that it was only two weeks and I'd failed already._

**Me: It wasn't failure. It just wasn't working out.**

_Jehan: I guess so but it still hurt._

**Me: Yeah, I know.**

_Jehan: Is the offer of friendship still open?_

**Me: It is.**

_Jehan: I'd love to take it._

**Me: The offer is accepted. We are now under the title 'friends' once more. Congratulations.**

_Jehan: Thanks. It's late. You should get some rest. You looked terrible._

**Me: I could say the same.**

_Jehan: I hate break ups. They suck._

**Me: Yeah. They do.**

_Jehan: Did you… go over the edge?_

**Me: It was bad timing. I didn't seize until at least five minutes later.**

_Jehan: Are you lying to make me feel better?_

**Me: Would you be mad if I said I was?**

_Jehan: At myself._

**Me: Then it's a good thing I wasn't laying.**

_Jehan: You can be a bitch sometimes, you know that?_

_Jehan: Wait, laying?_

**Me: Autocorrect.**

**Me: And yes I know. It's a gift.**

_Jehan: LOL._

**Me: You're silly. And you looked exhausted.**

_Jehan: So did you._

**Me: Eh. I got drunk. Did you go to the meeting?**

_Jehan: No. I was busy sleeping off my own hangover._

**Me: Nice. But since when do you drink excessively?**

_Jehan: Since I got dumped._

**Me: I didn't dump you. I gently let you down and then pushed you over a cliff.**

_Jehan: LOL basically._

**Me: Masochist.**

_Jehan: Hey! What was that for?_

**Me: You're laughing at your own pain. Masochist.**

_Jehan: I guess so. I should've recognized the warning signs._

**Me: Warning signs?**

_Jehan: Yeah, drinking, missing meetings, texting my ex-girlfriend now my friend, you know._

**Me: Understandable. Eponine is waking up. If I am not in bed asleep in less than two minutes, I'm dead. DO NOT RESPOND. Good night.**

Wisely, Jehan did not respond.

* * *

"It's hard to remember how it felt before  
Now I found the love of my life...  
Passes things get more comfortable  
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles  
It's good to see you now with someone else  
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends  
After all that we've been through  
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible  
Now you call me by my new last name  
Memories seem like so long ago  
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard  
The dreaming days where the mess was made  
Look how all the kids have grown  
We have changed but we're still the same  
After all that we've been through  
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you  
If you can be happy for me  
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend  
So far from where we've been  
I know we're cool"

It was standard routine now. She'd go up, sing, get lots of applause, do an awkward little bow and leave the stage. She'd walk over to Enjolras's table where he, Eponine and some other Amis would be waiting. Ever since the first night he heard her, Enjolras had never missed a performance. Tonight, it was Enjolras, Eponine, Combeferre (seriously could those two have more sexual tension) and Courfeyrac, who seemed to be in a much better mood after finding out that she and Jehan were now just friends. René just thought it was because Jehan was now back on the market.

"That was really nice." Jehan complimented, giving her a hesitant thumbs-up.

She smiled at him but couldn't hold eye contact. It was still tense between them, even after three weeks, but it wasn't asphyxiating like it was for other couples. Jehan nodded at her and left to talk to Marius who was over at the bar with Cosette.

"Beautiful as ever. Was that Gwen Stefani?" Enjolras asked.

"Yes. I'm surprised you know it." René answered, a little shocked.

"Well, this idiot here," He pointed to Courfeyrac, "Likes blasting his music. More than Eponine says you do."

"That's saying something." Eponine laughed.

"Hey! I do not!" Courfeyrac protested.

"I'm gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket, I'm, I'm, I'm hunting, looking for a come up, this is fucking awesome." Enjolras deadpanned.

The entire table was silent, everyone staring at Enjolras.

"You hate Macklemore." Combeferre stated.

"You hate Macklemore?" René gasped.

"Only because Courfeyrac won't stop playing that song. And the other one, the, uh, like the ceiling can't hold us one. He only plays those two songs over and over again." Enjolras complained.

"I'm right here." Courfeyrac interjected.

"I'm sorry, did you hear something? I thought I heard an oversized childish brat." René teased.

Courfeyrac's jaw went slack and René closed it for him. "Close your mouth, 'Fey, you're not a codfish."

"Did you just quote Mary Poppins?" Enjolras asked.

"I'm impressed, yes I did." René responded.

"The process of getting the author to approve of the movie that Disney made was quite difficult. She even regretted selling Disney the rights when the movie was finished. It was quite a fascinating read." Enjolras explained.

"Do you ever do anything that doesn't have to do with books?" René joked.

"Not really, no." Enjolras answered seriously.

"No wonder you didn't see Star Trek before I showed it to you. And don't deny you enjoyed it." René said.

"I won't. The movie was entertaining for a sci-fi movie. I liked it." Enjolras defended.

"And while I'm still thinking of Macklemore, I would've thought that Same Love would be perfect for you. Especially with the Pride Parade next week." René remembered.

"Same what?" Enjolras asked.

"You haven't heard Same Love? What radio do you listen to?" René exclaimed.

"The news? Other political reports?" Enjolras answered uncertainly.

"Oh you're missing out. C'mere." René grabbed her phone and earphones. She handed one to Enjolras and fiddled with her phone for a minute. "I'll show you the lyrics in the video too. Might help."

For five and a half minutes, Enjolras's eyes were dinner plates and René's held a soft, appreciative look. Enjolras took out the ear bud and gave it back to René.

"Why didn't you guys tell me about that song earlier? It's perfect for the Pride Parade." Enjolras cried out.

"We thought you'd already heard it. We wondered why you hadn't gone on a rant about how great Macklemore is. He supports gay marriage, he's against drugs and alcohol and is very famous." Combeferre explained.

"We've already asked our DJ to play it and you don't like knowing about the music." Courfeyrac added.

"What's wrong with music?" René protested.

"Nothing. I just don't find it necessary." Enjolras shrugged.

"Music is necessary. It's so necessary. Music draws people in, gets their attention, gets them to listen to it." René explained.

"With that definition, Enjolras is music." Courfeyrac teased.

"Nah. When he finally lets some girl play him and loosen some of his chords is he music." René shot back with a smirk.

Enjolras glared at her but her smirk didn't falter. He rolled his eyes and she considered the point hers.

"Speaking of music, who is DJing for you?" René asked.

"Oh we use the Sky Mobile Music DJ Company. They've been very good to us in the past. Very flexible. Plus they let us use the equipment we have in the Musain. They just choose what songs they play." Combeferre supplied.

"Seems legit." René shrugged.

"No, you can't change all the CDs in the booth before the DJ gets there." Eponine said calmly.

"Dammit! How did you know I was totally thinking that?" René swore.

"I know you." Eponine cocked an eyebrow.

René sulked and muttered, "That should be classified as cheating."

* * *

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry for that. I had to do a four page paper that ended up becoming a seven page paper and I had a couple of quizzes. I'm sorry I can't give you more than excuses and another chapter. I hope you guys like this. Reviews help me write faster! until next time. Adieu, mon chers.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, what do you think?" René asked as she came out of the bathroom, distinctly smelling like hair spray paint.

Eponine turned and almost choked. Her friend's black hair held no more black. It was an uneven rainbow with some of the colors bleeding together (getting the back of her head was a bitch), her cheeks were painted with rainbows and the words NO H8, and she was dressed in the brightest colors she had. She wore a look of if they weren't going to the Pride Parade, Eponine would've called the guys in white coats.

"You look like you lost a fight with rainbow paint and a blender." Eponine answered.

René glared at her. "You jerk."

Eponine laughed.

"Do I look that bad?" René asked, feeling self-conscious.

"No. Just very out of character. C'mon, we don't want to be late." Eponine assured and wrangled her excited friend into the car.

The parade started exactly at 2:00, when Enjolras promised it would. They walked for a couple miles before ending at City Hall.

It didn't take too long to get to the center of the end of the parade, the meeting point of the Amis in case anyone got separated or was running late. Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Enjolras, Joly, Bousset, Feuilly and Bahorel were already there. And Enjolras looked like he was having a panic attack.

"He was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago! What happened?" Enjolras shouted, not really at anyone but his panic was getting to him.

"Calm down, Enjolras. I'm sure it's just traffic." Combeferre soothed.

"Yeah, they've never given us any trouble before." Courfeyrac said.

"What's wrong?" Eponine asked as the two walked over.

"The DJ still isn't here and has not sent a text nor called to say when he's going to be here! And none of the Amis knows how to work that equipment. I mean, we know how to set it up but that's about it." Enjolras panicked.

René looked over at the empty music booth and walked back to the car. She ignored the shouts from Enjolras, the questions from Eponine, the strange looks from the other Amis, and grabbed a couple CDs. She climbed up into the booth and looked through their collection. Lots of different CDs by plenty of artists. As she went through the CDs, she smiled. She knew exactly what her first song would be.

* * *

"This is a disaster." Enjolras moaned before he started to hear music over the loudspeaker. Grantaire was wearing the headphones reserved for the DJ and she was moving to the music.

The music.

The Beatles 'All You Need Is Love' was playing. When the song ended, he saw her pick up the microphone.

"Hey guys! How you doing?" She waited for the screams to die down. "I'd scream too but nobody likes feedback." She smiled when the audience laughed lightly at her joke. "Thanks for laughing at that. That's the stupidest joke I'll tell all day, I promise. Well, welcome to the annual Pride Parade. I'd say how many years it's been going on, but I don't know. I'm new. If ya'll don't recognize me, I'm René Grantaire, a freshman at the college over here, a music major so I assume I know something of what I'm doing. I'm a member of the Les Amis de l'ABC, and for those of you who are tourists or exchange students who don't speak much French that means 'friends of the oppressed'. Hopefully by the name, you can tell we're a social justice group. We raise awareness for things like student rights, health care, and why you're here today. Today is about being proud of your sexuality. Whether you're straight, gay, bisexual, transgender or anything in between. Society may tell you that you're a minority, even you allies, but today that doesn't matter. What matters is you are who you are and no one can change that. Be proud of yourself no matter what anyone tells you. But enough about the boring stuff. You guys ready to listen to some music?" More screams. "Well, all right then. Can't argue with the people want."

And she played Tom Robinson's 'It's Great to Be Gay'.

She made eye contact with him quickly, and waved him into the booth. He climbed up and looked at her in wonder. She took off the headphones and smiled at him, which faltered slightly.

"What? Was my little mini speech not good? Or is it the music? I can change styles." She rambled.

"No, no, it was great. Familiar but great." He said, still a little in shock that little Grantaire was DJing the finish line of a huge parade.

"I got most of it from you. Just what I remembered you talking about when you mentioned this." She shrugged, blushing slightly.

"You were listening?" He asked.

"Of course. Very few things still matter to me, and my brother is one of them. He could be an arrogant ass, but he was my brother, gayness and all. He would've liked this." She whispered.

Then he realized the booth held very low music, and the speakers were blasting, but blasting away from her.

"It's so you don't go deaf." She explained, as if knowing his thoughts.

"Interesting." He murmured.

"The song is ending. Do you want to say anything?" She offered the microphone.

"I think you covered most of it, but sure." He accepted it and when the song ended, she gave him a nod to say that he could talk.

"Hello everyone! My name is Julien Enjolras, and I'm the leader of Les Amis de l'ABC." People started screaming at him. He waited for it to end before he continued. "I'd like to thank all of you for this! Without you, we're just a bunch of kids trying to change the world. And I speak directly to City Hall now. We will not stand as homosexual, bisexual and transgender people are discriminated against! I speak to you today not as a straight man, a college student, or a leader of a social justice group. I speak to you as a human being! As are all these people! No matter if they're gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning, allies, it doesn't matter! What matters is each of these people has a heart! They are all capable of love! It doesn't matter if they love someone of the same sex. They are people too! They should have every right to get married and enjoy the tax benefits' being married entails. We do not ask for much. We only ask for the rights promised to us in the Declaration of Human and Civic Rights. 'Men are born and remain free and equal in rights.' If we are equal, why must some of us suffer through life because of something we cannot change?! Orientation is as much of a choice as race is! Why must we struggle through constant ostracization and torment because we are not born into the majority! We did not rebel against the kings of old to have our rights taken from us and given to out to those who think they deserve them more! I ask you now City Hall, will you stand on the side of necessary progress or will you stand in the way of it?"

The screams that returned to him were almost deafening.

"Wow, Apollo. That was impressive." Grantaire whispered.

"Thanks." He smiled at her and she returned it, slyly pressing a button on one of the machines.

"When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay…"

"Fitting." He said, pleased.

"I thought you would think so. Now do you know how important music is?" She asked.

"I think I'm understanding it better." He answered.

She nodded and started to dance. Feeling slightly awkward, he just stood there. Her hand motions invited him to dance but he didn't move. She rolled her eyes, snickering, and grabbed his hands. She pulled his arms in a way his hips moved and it was slow and slightly awkward but somehow they made it work. All the time, he didn't take his eyes off of her. He simply couldn't. With her rainbow hair, skin and clothes, she looked absolutely, well, _fabulous_.

"Easy there with the staring, Apollo. People might think you're falling in love with Hyacinthus." She teased.

He glared at her for ruining the moment.

"That's the Apollo I know. Here, give me the mike." She smirked and took the mike.

"All right everyone. If you'll indulge me this once, I dedicate this song to my brother. It was one of his favorites. Some of you may recognize it, some may not. If you do, sing along. If you don't, garble. My brother was gay, and he didn't let it bring him down. So whenever you feel down, think of this. He can't be with us anymore, but I know he is here with us in spirit. Ryan, baby, this one is for you."

She plugged her phone into the music equipment and fiddled with it for a minute.

"My hair is black and red  
My hair is yellow  
My eyes are brown and green and blue

My name is Jack and Fred  
My name's Amanda Sue  
I'm called Kareem Abdul  
My name is you

I live in southern France  
I'm from a Texas ranch  
I come from Mecca and Peru  
I live across the street  
In the mountains, on a beach  
I come from everywhere  
And my name is you

We all sing with the same voice  
The same song, the same voice  
We all sing with the same voice  
And we sing in harmony

Sometimes I get mad and mean  
Sometimes I feel happy  
And when I want to cry, I do

When I'm by myself at night  
I hold my teddy tight  
Until the morning light  
My name is you

I have sisters one, two, three  
In my family there's just me  
I've got one daddy  
I've got two

Grandpa helps me cross the street  
My cat walks on furry feet  
I love my parakeet  
My name is you

We all sing with the same voice  
The same song, the same voice  
We all sing with the same voice  
And we sing in harmony

I like to run and climb  
I like to sit and read  
I like to watch my TV, too

And when it's time for bed  
I like my stories read  
"Sweet dreams" and "Love you" said  
My name is you

We all sing with the same voice  
The same song, the same voice  
We all sing with the same voice  
And we sing in harmony."

"I know that song." And he did. He just couldn't place it.

"I'll send you the link." She winked at him.

"Enjolras, a reporter wants to talk to you!" Courfeyrac shouted. "You're gonna be on TV!"

"Duty calls. Go on, Apollo. I can handle this. I'm in my element. My zone." She shooed him out and he climbed down.

* * *

He wanted to go back up to the booth, but once one reporter had a shot at him, twenty others took their place. He figured he was going to be on every news channel and in every newspaper after that. Sadly, the parade came to an end. The Amis stayed behind to help clean up; it wasn't fair to just make the city do it.

"One last announcement my freaky darlings! (**A.N. If you get this reference, I'll give you a surprise.**) Actually two. One, if you guys could pick up a couple pieces of trash that'd be great. City workers jobs are hard enough without us going all Woodstock on them. And two, until the next time, be ready for whatever life gives you. It doesn't matter if other people hate who you are because they're afraid of you. Don't let their fear rule your life. Goodbye everyone!"

Sometimes he wondered why that girl could ever become a cynic.

* * *

"Ugh, I'm never going to get this!" René slammed her head into her Algebra textbook.

Eponine would've comforted her, but she was neck deep in studying as well. Midterms. All college students hated them. They were at least ten percent of their grades. The Amis were over at René's apartment, spread out all over the place. Cosette and Marius shared a kitchen chair, Bahorel and Feuilly shared the living room chair, Eponine, Combeferre and René were on the couch, Joly, Bousset and Musichetta were a pile of blankets and textbooks, and Jehan was all over the coffee table. Enjolras and Courfeyrac were on their way, coming back from class.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Bahorel asked, looking up from his law textbook.

"Algebra." She moaned.

"Well, who do you have? The midterm could just be homework questions." Feuilly asked.

"Javert." She answered and a collective groan echoed through the room.

"And no sympathy for me? I'm in his class too." Eponine grumbled.

"Hush, Ep. Everybody knows we only care about Grantaire. You just come along for the ride sometimes." Jehan teased.

A short laugh followed but soon the silence reigned. Everyone went deep into their books to see if they could retain some of the knowledge before midterms. It stayed like that for a couple of hours. They read, reread, and read again until they were sure they knew it. And of course, wanted to make sure they didn't forget it when they went to the next page. Until it was broken by Combeferre's cell phone, which started blasting 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua.

"Courfeyrac must've changed my ringtone again." He groaned, answering the phone.

"Yes, I am he… they're what… when… I'll be right there." Combeferre went from pleasantly polite to terrified in a matter of seconds.

"What is it?" Eponine asked as he hung up.

Combeferre turned an unsightly shade of pale. "Enjolras and Courfeyrac are in the hospital. They've been in a car accident."

* * *

**Ooh cliffhanger! Mwa ha ha ha ha! I'm so evil! I'm sorry guys. And I had you thinking that the Pride Parade was the life-changing protest. Naw. Sorry. Anyways, a reply to my friend Almost an Actress, I am glad for the honest feedback. It was meant as a kind of filler chapter. As for the slow build, be glad I'm not making it longer. Mwa ha ha! Sorry. Got a little carried away there. And if any of you have been to a Pride Parade and it's not like that at all, I'm sorry. I've never been. I can only go on the Internet to find out what they're like. As for the song Grantaire dedicates to her brother, it's called 'We All Sing With The Same Voice'. For those of you who don't remember, it's a Sesame Street song. If only the world could be a little more like that, we might not be killing our fellow human beings so much. Okay, I'm off my soapbox now. Reviews make me write faster! Until the next time. Adieu, mon chers.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Combeferre turned an unsightly shade of pale. "Enjolras and Courfeyrac are in the hospital. They've been in a car accident."_

"Oh my God, are they okay?" René asked.

"They didn't say. I'm their emergency contact so they called me first. I've got to go." Combeferre started shoving his books into his bag.

"Forget that. It's cool if you leave your stuff. Just come and get it later. Let's go." René nearly shoved him out the door, Eponine close behind.

"Everyone is going to follow us, aren't they?" René asked as they ran to Combeferre's car.

"More than likely." Combeferre agreed distractedly, fumbling with his keys.

"I'm driving. You're in no shape." Eponine snatched his keys away from him and climbed into the front seat. "Plus, I'm faster."

"She's a maniacal driver, 'Ferre. We'll get there in no time." René promised.

Combeferre made no reply.

And René was right. It only took them five minutes to get to a hospital fifteen minutes away. René was surprised they didn't get a ticket. They raced into the hospital as fast as they could.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The secretary asked. She seemed like a nice girl, red curling iron curls, pale skin, a soft face.

"Two boys. College age. One blonde, one curly hair. They just arrived here. I'm Étienne Combeferre. Where are they? What's their condition?" Combeferre asked hurriedly.

"I'll send for the doctor." She promised.

Combeferre stepped back, pale and shaky. René figured she didn't look so good either because both Combeferre and Eponine insisted she sit down immediately. She didn't need to sit down, she needed to see her friends, she needed to see Apollo all right. He was marble, but even marble could be broken. It took three agonizing minutes for a doctor to show up.

"I'm a medical student. What are their conditions?" Combeferre asked.

"Hello. My name is Doctor Madeleine. Your friends are very much alive. Their car was hit on the passenger side and your friend Enjolras is conscious and helping with Monsieur Courfeyrac. Monsieur Enjolras has a concussion, but a minor one, and a severe case of whiplash. Otherwise, he is uninjured. Monsieur Courfeyrac is a different story. His injuries are not life-threatening but it seems he was hit the worst. However, his injuries are contained to his right side. He has two broken ribs, a broken femur, a broken tibia and a broken pelvis. He also has whiplash and a concussion. However, we're in the process of resetting his bones and he's going to be perfectly fine. The accident could've been much worse, your friends are very lucky." Doctor Madeleine informed.

Combeferre let out a sigh of relief, which prompted the other two girls too. If Combeferre thought they were going to be okay, then they were going to. Simple as that.

"Can we see them?" René asked.

"Family only at the moment, dear. I'm sorry." Madeleine apologized.

"Enjolras doesn't have any family. They've all but legally disowned him. They won't come." Combeferre muttered.

"All right. And what of Monsieur Courfeyrac? Monsieur Enjolras could not give us any information." Madeleine asked.

"'Fey has a sister but she's traveling the world studying. Last time he heard from her, she was in Africa. His parents, as cliché as this sounds, died in a skiing accident in Aspen." Combeferre relayed.

"I guess you can see Monsieur Enjolras. But only one at a time and you mustn't stress him out." Doctor Madeleine conceded.

"Combeferre, you go first. We'll stay here and fill the others in." René suggested.

Combeferre nodded and followed the doctor. The others arrived about three minutes later.

"Is everyone okay? Where's Combeferre?" Chorused.

Eponine told them what the doctor told them and they all relaxed.

"Knowing Apollo, he's probably going to take over hospital management in a matter of moments." René tried for a joke but it fell flat.

There was a stifling tension between all of them. Suddenly, Joly started sobbing.

"Oh God, what if they don't remember us? What if they have no memory? What if they can't move their necks again? Or if they get sick from the other people in the hospital?" Joly sobbed out, going full-out hypochondriac. He would've fallen to the floor of Bousset hadn't caught him.

"Easy, Joly. I've gotten plenty of concussions before. They're going to be fine." Bahorel promised.

"But what if-" Joly tried.

"Joly, shut up before you send René over." Eponine hushed.

René hadn't realized her breath had picked up until she had to slow it down. In truth, Joly merely voiced what they were all thinking. Every worst case scenario started playing out in their heads.

"I'm sorry, Grantaire. Why don't Joly and I go get you a bottle of water from the cafeteria?" Musichetta offered, but it certainly wasn't a suggestion. René guessed she wouldn't get that water for a little while.

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the cafeteria. Bousset followed quickly, after tripping into a nurse who happened to be walking by.

Combeferre returned a couple minutes later.

"Grantaire. Come here. He wants to see you." He said.

"Me? He wants to see me?" She asked.

"I told him you were here. He said to get you. And he's still slightly scared of Eponine." Combeferre repeated.

"Okay then. Ep, I'm in a hospital. I'm pretty sure I can handle this alone." René said and followed Combeferre to the ICU.

"He's going to be fine. He has no memory loss, and no mental damage." Combeferre promised.

"Combeferre, where is- Grantaire!" Enjolras perked up the minute he saw her. His neck was braced, but it didn't seem to hinder his movement. He grabbed her hand as she came near his bed and pulled her into the chair.

"I never told you. And I wanted to. But I forgot after the parade but I remembered when Courfeyrac made a joke about how we were like you, being loaded into the ambulance." Enjolras said, and then stopped.

"Are you high?" René asked innocently.

"No." Enjolras looked affronted but didn't press the matter.

"That's the pain medication." Combeferre answered from the door.

"Oh." She nodded and waited for Enjolras to speak. He didn't. "You said you wanted to tell me something?"

"Oh right. I- shoo Combeferre, go find her keeper. This is a _secret_." Enjolras waved his hands towards his best friend.

Combeferre shrugged and said as he stepped out, "If you need something, holler. Enjolras, you have your call button."

And so they were alone. And Enjolras still hadn't said anything.

"What do you want to say?" René prompted.

"I wanted to say that, at the parade, I was _this_ close from kissing you. You looked amazing, I loved your hair, and the paint on your face too. And your clothes. And your shoes. And I love your smile too. It's really beautiful. And you. And your dance moves. I mean it, you can really dance. Seeing you up in that booth was like watching a- a movie or a professional show. And when you led everyone in 'Love Shack' it was so beautiful to watch." Enjolras gushed.

"Okay. You, my friend, are on very strong medication. You must've hit your head pretty hard. You don't know what you're saying." René stated.

"I do too. I'm saying you're a very good person buried underneath the cynic and it was worth it for me to unbury you. Oh, and you're really pretty." He smiled.

"Okay, sweetie. How about you and me play a game?" She smiled back, not believing him. People said stupid stuff they never meant when they were on pain meds. She should know. She'd said some pretty idiotic things to Eponine when the hospitals she'd been in had her on the good stuff.

"Sure. Can I kiss you? Is that the game?" He asked eagerly.

"No but you're close. How about you lie down and close your eyes? And then you do exactly as I say. How about that?" She offered, pretending to be excited.

"Okay." He chirped, doing as she said.

"Even out your breathing. Calm down." She whispered.

He relaxed slightly.

She whispered to him, talking but not really saying anything at all. He was asleep within minutes. She crept out where Combeferre was waiting.

"What did he want to talk about?" Combeferre asked.

"Nothing worth repeating. Just some pain medication drabbles." She dismissed.

"I figured it would be something like that." He agreed but René had the almost feeling that he was lying.

_No, this is Combeferre. He doesn't lie._ She reprimanded herself for thinking such a thing.

* * *

Both boys ended up having to stay in the hospital for the week, according to Combeferre. Courfeyrac because he couldn't go home and Enjolras because he wouldn't let himself heal. The doctors and nurses did not like him. He once tried checking himself out AMA but Combeferre stopped him because he couldn't drive himself home. Enjolras did not approve of the hospital and made it quite clear.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much." René said as she visited a now sane Enjolras. Or rather the medication dose was less so he had more of a clear head.

"I don't like being here." Enjolras shrugged.

"Nobody does. It's a hospital. I hate these things and I'm in here a lot more than you are." René quipped.

"I don't know how you stand it." Enjolras conceded.

"I don't. But at least I'm smart enough to stay here and rest when the doctors order me to rest." René shrugged.

"Or you're smart enough to listen to Eponine." Enjolras grumbled.

"Actually, when I'm in the hospital, I listen to the doctors. You see, they know a hell of a lot more than I do. I don't like being weak but I'm stuck living like this. So acknowledge the nice and patient doctors know better than you, whether you like it in here or not, and stay here before I bitch slap you again." René shot.

He swallowed and didn't respond.

"You're lucky you and 'Fey don't have roommates. Especially ones who snore or don't shut up. You have it real nice here. I have way more hospital visits under my belt. Don't complain." She finished.

"All right. Doesn't mean I'm happy to be here." Enjolras grumbled.

"Do you always have to get in the last word?" René teased.

"No." He said.

She laughed and he smiled.

"You really do have a beautiful smile." He whispered and she blushed.

"You said that the first night here too." She mumbled.

"Which is why I'm saying it when I'm actually believable." He said.

"Oh shut it, you. I get enough of that from Ep. I can't be professionally be good looking." René grumbled, trying her hardest to stop blushing.

"I understood that reference. Zoolander." He delighted.

"I knew you'd get it. I know you are far from stupid. Dense and idealistic but never stupid. Now I'm going to visit Courfeyrac because I promised I would visit him today and I've only got like an hour left for visiting hours." She said, standing.

"You did arrive rather late. I know your music class gets out at two and you didn't get here until six fifteen." He commented.

"Stalking my schedule now, huh?" She teased.

"I would, if you were worthy of stalking." He retorted.

"Oh where is the water? I got burned." She said sarcastically.

"So you were late because…" He trailed off.

"Eponine made me study. For four hours straight. I thought I was going to die. She wouldn't listen to me when I said I could just as easily study here. You might've even helped me. But no, people with concussions shouldn't study." She complained.

"Lucky. I would give an arm and a leg to study. I'm so bored here."

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much." She repeated.

"Go see Courfeyrac." Enjolras sent.

She laughed and headed out.

"By the way, Lady Gertrude, Hamlet. William Shakespeare." Enjolras recited.

After exchanging a slightly uncouth gesture to Enjolras, René headed over to Courfeyrac. He was a couple doors down and- holy crap. She wasn't expecting that.

He had a Jehan necking him in the middle of a hospital bed.

"All right. You two are cute but this is a hospital and 'Fey needs his rest. Otherwise, his pretty face won't last too long." She announced, startling them apart.

"Text me." Jehan murmured and left.

"You really meant it when you said we were cute?" Courfeyrac asked.

"Yes. I'm fine with you dating him. Although, I don't know if any words were exchanged in that." She commented.

"I told him I loved him. Then I kissed him. He kissed back so I'm hopeful." Courfeyrac smiled brightly with swollen lips.

"I'm glad. You deserve to be happy." She gave him a hopeful smile.

"So do you, Miss who-just-came-from-visiting-Mr. Apollo." He teased.

"It's not Mr. Apollo. It's just Apollo. And it was all right. I laughed. He laughed. I called him out. He shut up." She shrugged.

"I would've liked to have seen that." He remarked.

"Now that I'm thinking about it, answer me this. Whatever happened to the DJ for the parade? Did he ever show up?" She asked.

"Yeah when Enjolras was doing his little speech. He got caught in traffic and didn't call or text because it's illegal and he could pull over. We told him to go home. That someone had already arrived. The way he was looking at you up there, we couldn't get you down without Enjolras complaining about how much he missed you or how the DJ should've shown up on time or something." He answered.

"Have you told Enjolras?" She questioned.

"No." He responded.

"You might want to." She replied.

"Fine. Have fun being cryptic." He stuck his tongue out at her.

"So what's the next protest? Take Back the Night, right?" She inquired.

"Yeah. We were going to go over it at our informal study meeting but the car had other plans." He explained.

She smiled. "I don't want to miss that one. It's going to change lives."

* * *

**Another chapter done. Wow, this is really starting to come along. As for the pain medication, I've seen my parents on it and it makes you say things you wouldn't say under normal circumstances. On the bright side, I know what I'm getting for Christmas. I'm sorry for taking so long to update, it's just college and I went back to LA for the weekend and had no time to write. Hopefully, this doesn't sound rushed or bad. If it does, or if it doesn't leave a review. Good or bad, let me know what you think. I'm interested in what you guys have to say.**

**(A.N. Slight Spoiler- Grantaire is right. It's going to change lives. But whose will be the mystery. Guess in a review and get a sneak peak.)**


	12. Chapter 12

It took a week for Enjolras to be released from the hospital, and three weeks for Courfeyrac. Courfeyrac was wrapped up in bandages and casts, but his smile still stayed on. He and Jehan had gotten together after the kiss and they both seemed happy for it. Courfeyrac could keep up with how fast Jehan fell in love and Jehan adored all the attention Courfeyrac could give. Plus, Jehan loved the fact that he could decorate Courfeyrac's casts with love poems and doodles. They were happy in love.

René and Enjolras were not. In fact, they weren't speaking to each other. Whenever Eponine and Combeferre hung out, which kept increasing the tension was impossible to miss, neither young adult even moved to try and speak to the other.

"_Take Back the Night! Riots in the streets and bras thrown all over the place." René laughed._

"_That's not what Take Back the Night is about, Grantaire." Enjolras admonished._

"_No, but that's what happens." René wiggled her eyebrows suggestively._

"_No, it's not. That's a horrible stereotype." Enjolras said._

"_Relax, Apollo. I'm just teasing." René shrugged._

"_Yeah but teasing helps promote the stereotype. Would you call your brother a faggot in jest?" Enjolras asked._

"_Don't you dare say a word against my brother." René growled._

"_This is France, I have freedom of speech." Enjolras spat._

"_I don't care. Don't cross that line." René shot right back._

"_You basically just said Ryan was a faggot." Enjolras shouted._

_It took Eponine and Bahorel to hold René back after the first punch to Enjolras's face._

"_You bastard!" She screamed. "You never knew my brother! You have no right to talk about him that way!"_

"_Then why do you have the 'right' to insult our Take Back the Night protests? To call them what they aren't? To destroy their credibility?" Enjolras yelled, not noticing the cut spewing blood down his face._

"_I was just joking! If that stick weren't so far up your ass, you would have realized that we mortals have something called humor. It's how we communicate. It does not always hold truth. But no! You can't learn how to take a freaking joke! All you care about is how everything in the world doesn't fit your definitions and how it hates you! News flash: everything you do, every protest you put on, it's all for nothing. Nothing will ever change! All you're doing is squawking like a parrot at people with no ears!"_

_The slap across her cheek sent her reeling. She'd never been struck before. Well, never by someone she considered a friend, a close friend. The entire room was silent as she took in ragged breaths. She looked at him with pure hatred in her eyes and found her emotions mirrored in Enjolras's eyes._

"_Get out of here." Enjolras whispered in a voice filled with malice._

_But René could barely hear him. All her self-control, everything she had went into preventing another seizure. But the fight was much too hard to win, especially with that much alcohol in her system._

_Faintly, she heard Combeferre yell, "Catch her!" she felt her legs lose their strength and she felt like she was falling as she was swallowed by darkness._

Her cheek had bruised. It hurt to smile. So she didn't. She didn't feel like smiling anyways. She still held interest for things and would get herself out of bed in the mornings but she never smiled. Not even after it healed. Not even after the midterms, which all of the Amis passed with flying colors which surprised René as she hadn't been expecting to pass her math midterm but apparently miracles do happen. For three weeks she held no emotion in her face.

For three weeks, neither did Enjolras. She avoided him for the most part, but he was still the TA for her philosophy class so she had to see him every time class was in session. Thankfully, she didn't have to listen to him. Larmarque had started teaching the class, having finished his review of Enjolras's teaching style, and Enjolras sat in the back grading papers. Every single time she saw him, he held no emotion. He didn't regard Eponine coldly, but it couldn't be called warmth. Combeferre and Eponine would try to patch them together but neither listened. They had both crossed lines beyond quick forgiveness. 'Sorry' would not fix this mess. René wasn't sure what would but it was sure to be memorable.

Days came and days went. Both visited their friends, however when their paths crossed, one would simply leave the room. She enjoyed seeing her friends, although she still never smiled, and she could tell Enjolras enjoyed it too. She could when she felt his gaze upon her back whenever he thought she wasn't looking. She never mentioned this to anyone, for fear of alerting Enjolras to this. As much as she wasn't ready to forgive him, she didn't want him completely out of her life. She didn't know why, but whenever she caught him staring, she drew unusual comfort from it. She had theories ranging from she still had him and he wasn't completely cutting himself off from her to he was waiting for her to smile. However, each theory seemed as ridiculous as the next. She would look at him occasionally, not as much as she found his eyes on him, but still a good amount of time. She wondered if he knew she looked. She wouldn't put it past the socially inept idiot to be completely oblivious to it. However, a small voice in her head told her he knew, and he kept quiet about it for the same reason she did.

* * *

"I don't want to go." René tried for the fifth time.

"I'm going. And I can't leave you alone. All the Amis are going and Jean is still out of town. I have no one to leave you with. You're coming. End of story." Eponine said.

She was wrapping René up in her jacket and wrangling her into the car.

"I don't want to go." René repeated.

"You've said that like ten times. Enough. Just don't talk to Enjolras. Shouldn't be that hard. You've been practicing for three weeks." Eponine grumbled as René reluctantly buckled her seatbelt.

"What about Courfeyrac and Jehan? 'Fey is still on crutches because of his leg so he wouldn't come." René asked desperately.

"Weren't you listening a couple days ago? They are going home for the weekend because Jehan's parents want to meet Courf and this was the only weekend both of his parents were going to be home for another month." Eponine reminded.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Marius and Cosette?" René said.

"Going." Eponine answered.

"Feuilly and Bahorel?" René tried.

"Going." Eponine repeated.

"Musichetta?" René questioned.

"Working. And Joly and Bousset are going." Eponine added.

"Fine! I'll go. But don't expect me to enjoy it." René conceded.

"Whatever you say, sweetie." Eponine shrugged.

* * *

"TAKE! BACK! THE NIGHT!" The crowd chanted.

The entire atmosphere was intoxicating, even though there was no alcohol. The crowd had become a mob and people were screaming and running around like crazy people. Eponine looked at her friend expectantly.

"All right. This looks fun. Are you happy now?" René sighed.

"Inexplicably." Eponine deadpanned.

"TAKE! BACK! THE NIGHT!" The crowd screamed.

Rene's eyes lit up like fire and she ran into the crowd, screaming, "TAKE! BACK! THE NIGHT!"

"We will not stand for sexual violence! Against anyone! It doesn't matter how we dress or how much we drink! Rape is no four letter word! It something we all must take a stand to! Whether we are men or women. Sexual violence against one of us is an outrage to us all. It is not only committed by strangers! Married women are allowed to say no! It is not just sex! We cannot forget it! People of all races rape and they should be punished just as equally for their crimes! Men you are not exempt from this! You must fight alongside us! Rapists do not attack one time! They will keep attacking until we stop them! And we cannot simply 'prevent' rape! Seventy-four percent of rapes involved force or threatened use of force! It can occur in your home! No one enjoys being raped! Gang rape is not rare! Now we can put a stop to all these myths by simply taking back the night and not believing any of them. We can take back the night by promising to never partake in a sexually violent act and never stopping from preventing one! TAKE! BACK! THE NIGHT!" Enjolras rallied the crowd with impeccable talent.

He truly looked like Apollo driving the sun chariot firing arrows into the land below him, completely in his element. Nothing was wrong with them that moment. As the crowd cheered, he met her eyes. Or so she thought. But his stare did not waver and she found she could not breathe as long as those passionate blue fires were locked on her. His attention was called elsewhere, as he turned to behind him and the spell was broken. Her senses returned to her and she found her breath once more. She saw Eponine talking with Combeferre and gave her a wink. Eponine missed it completely because Combeferre (finally) took initiative and kissed her. She immediately dug her phone out of her pocket and started taking pictures. She discarded some because they were blurry but found one and sent it to everyone via mass text.

**Me: Look! He is so clearly kissing her! You all owe me and Courfeyrac twenty!**

_Jehan: Aw they're so cute!_

_Bousset: That is so worth twenty euros._

_Courfeyrac: Get some, dude!_

_Bahorel: Why does it look like he's choking her with his tongue?_

"Hey, baby." Came a drunken croon.

"I thought Enjolras told you to stay away from me." René dismissed, turning away from the monstrosity beside her.

"Aw, baby, don't be that way. We don't have to listen to him. Word has it, you've been fighting." Montparnasse whined.

"It was a misunderstanding. Nothing more. That's why I'm here. To support _him_." She spat.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Montparnasse pouted.

"You stole my guitar! That's the last thing I have of my parents! And you wonder why I hate you?" René screamed.

"You don't hate me. You hate him." Montparnasse said, disbelieving.

"I love him." In that moment, she knew it to be true. She'd never said it aloud before but it gave her strength and she stared Montparnasse down with ferocity.

"You don't mean that. C'mere." He shouted, grabbed her wrists roughly, and with strength she did not think a drunken man could have, he pulled her close to him. She could smell the alcohol radiating off of him.

"Get off of me!" She shrieked and looked behind her for help. Unfortunately, the crowd was chanting 'Eye of the Tiger' and was oblivious to her plight.

He tried kissing her neck, she could feel his stubble scratching her, until suddenly he was gone. And she was in someone else's arms. She buried her head in her savior's shoulder and found a familiar scent. One she did not think she would recognize.

"I warned you. I told you to stay away from her. I banned you from the Musain, got you on academic probation and still you don't listen. Run away and don't ever come back. Take your punch and run. Pray that I never see you near my girlfriend again." Enjolras commanded.

She didn't pull away from him for a moment, horribly terrified. She didn't not feel a seizure coming, thank whatever God was up there, but she could not bring herself to move from Enjolras's embrace. Finally, after many heartbeats, she pulled away from him. He still held her in his arms and she did not move to abandon his hold. They held each other's gaze for a moment before he started checking her over.

"Are you hurt?" He said. His voice was low but the only thing she could hear.

"No." She responded in kind, unable to raise her voice beyond his tone.

"Your wrists say differently. I should have Combeferre check them out. Make sure they will only bruise." Enjolras muttered.

"He's busy with Eponine. Quite busy." She found herself chuckling at her friend's antics.

"Oh so he finally got the courage to ask her out. He says he's been planning this for some time but I didn't think he would do it tonight." Enjolras murmured.

"Some people just surprise you, huh?" She asked but the question held such a deeper meaning that in that moment, she found Enjolras curling his hands around hers. She clung to him for dear life, still thoroughly frightened, and he didn't show any pain at her hands squeezing his so hard she was surprised they didn't break.

"You're trembling. Are you sure you're not hurt?" Enjolras whispered.

"No. Scared? Extremely. Hurt? I don't think so." She promised.

"I'm going to get a restraining order on that boy for you." He swore.

"I'd like that." She exhaled raggedly, using Enjolras to support her more than she would like to admit. But he did not let her fall. Suddenly, thousands of horrible thoughts plagued her mind and she started to doubt herself.

"Was it- was it something I-" She started but Enjolras grabbed her face, effectively shutting her up, forcing her to look straight into his eyes. His kind, passionate, protective, loving eyes.

"You did nothing wrong. Do you understand me? Nothing. Everything is on him. He is the one to blame. Not you. Understand?" His eyes beseeched her to understand, to know what he was saying was truth.

She could only nod, lost in the sea of his gorgeous eyes.

"Good." He breathed and for a moment they stayed in silence.

"Did you mean it?" She asked, fearful of his answer but she wanted to know. She _needed_ to know.

"What?" He furrowed his brow.

She took a breath and steeled herself. "When you said my girlfriend. I know we're angry at each other but I can't help but want to throw myself at your feet and beg for forgiveness. I miss smiling and I smile so much more when you're around. I know I said some horrible things and I only meant them at the time. Your friendship means the world to me and I can't stand not having you in my life. I don't know if you know this but I can feel you staring at me and I relish every time you do because I'm pretty sure I've- ugh!"

There was excruciating pain in her head, a flash of white light, and then… nothing. Just blackness.

* * *

Enjolras saw the beer bottle seconds before it connected with Grantaire's head. She cried out for a moment before going completely limp in his arms. If he hadn't been keeping such a firm grip on her in the first place she would have fallen. He struggled with her dead (no- she can't be- please don't let her be) weight for a minute before scooping her up bridal style and steadying himself. With his peripheral vision he saw Montparnasse running away. He wasn't sure how or when, but he was going to make sure that he paid for this. even if it killed Enjolras to do it. But for now, he had to focus on Grantaire. A hit like that would not only hurt but could potentially damage her brain. Thankfully, she was still be breathing, unimpaired no less.

"Grantaire." He whispered, shaking her a little.

She didn't stir.

"Grantaire." He realized his voice became more desperate but he couldn't bring himself to care.

He shook her again, harder this time, but still she didn't stir.

"René!" He shouted, shaking her as hard as he could.

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

He had never been so scared. Not even seeing Montparnasse kiss her had he ever felt such fear.

"René, please. Wake up." He pleaded.

She didn't.

"Oh God, somebody help me! Please! Somebody! Help! SOMEBODY!"

* * *

\

**Gasp! I'm so evil! Mwa ha ha ha ha! Ah well, hope this keeps you all interested. Again, for the seizures, I only have in the Internet. So please, if it's wrong, PLEASE tell me. I'd like to be somewhat accurate with this. Please, please, please review. I'm losing faith that people actually like this story. And for the rape speech Enjolras does, I googled 'myths about rape' and clicked on the first link. Then after checking it out, learned a lot. Some people really are idiots about this. I mean, one of the myths was, and I quote "If the assailant, victim, or both are drunk, the assailant cannot be charged with rape." I mean, what the Hell! Drunkenness does not provoke rape! And now I'm getting off my soapbox. I'm pretty sure Enjolras said my piece for me. So, please, leave a review and I'll see you soon!**


	13. Chapter 13

"_Alcohol left in the bottle… seeped into her brain… in a coma… even if she wakes, she might have permanent brain damage… we just don't know… case is different… she may never wake… may never wake… never wake… Never Wake… NEVER WAKE."_

Enjolras woke with a start. This was the third night in a row he'd had that dream. Four nights since that disastrous Take Back the Night protest. It had started so well. A well-received speech, and he'd found Grantaire in the crowd. She'd looked so stunned (and stunning) when she saw him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Then it all went to Hell in a hand basket. Minutes from being raped at a sexual assault protest, and then attacked by the same man who couldn't take 'no' for an answer. Glancing at the clock, it read five thirty six. He wasn't getting back to sleep tonight. He didn't have class until two the next day, or rather today, so he could squeeze in some hours visiting Grantaire. He'd been spending each spare moment he had at the hospital. If he hadn't put her there. If he'd only seen the bottle before it hit her, moved her. He didn't care if he hurt himself doing it. She shouldn't be in the hospital. He should. He deserved it for going as far as he did during their fight. He never should have hurt her. Sighing, he climbed out of bed and dressed. He doubted his roommates would be up, but he could make them coffee. Visiting hours were from nine to eight. He could wait until then to see her.

Enjolras noticed the room was empty before focusing on Grantaire. She looked peaceful and young. Her black hair was splashed across the pillow, her pink lips ever so slightly parted, her cheeks slightly flushed, and her magnificent blue eyes were hidden by heavy lids. Her chest rose and fell with a calming rhythm, reassuring anyone listening that she was still alive. She looked asleep. But he knew she was not. He stayed for the day. And the next. He stayed for the rest of the week. And the week after that. When he wasn't at class, he was there.

Eponine could not bear the guilt of seeing her. He understood. Eponine blamed herself because she was the one who convinced Grantaire to go, and didn't keep at an eye on her at all times. As much as they tried, the Amis could not convince her otherwise. The only person who could convince her was lying in a coma. Jehan and Courfeyrac often came together. Combeferre was never beyond Eponine's reach. Bahorel visited as much as he could. Enjolras knew Bahorel regarded her as a little sister, although he hardly ever showed it. Feuilly would come as well, whenever he wasn't working or in class. Marius and Cosette, along with Jean Valjean (who was her godfather apparently) would come every Saturday. However, as the days turned into weeks, the Amis started to lose hope that she would wake. They did not doubt her strength, merely how far life would go to take everything it could from that girl. They all knew she had reasons behind being a cynic. The meetings moved from the Musain to her hospital room, where the nurses would kindly turn a blind eye to the breaking of the 'Only two visitors allowed' rule. It helped that it was only once every two weeks. The first time Eponine came to the meetings again, she took one look at Grantaire and started to cry.

"It's not fair! It's not fair! Why hasn't she had enough?" She cried, slamming her hand against the door.

"Ponine?" Combeferre asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Why does it always have to be violence? Her brother, her parents-" Eponine sobbed.

"What are you talking about?" Courfeyrac questioned.

"Did Ryan ever tell you how their parents died?" Eponine responded and Courfeyrac shook his head slowly.

"Did she tell anyone?" Eponine inquired.

A collective 'no' was her answer.

"Then it's about time you guys knew. Her parents were middle school teachers. Her mother a librarian, her father taught science. There was this one kid in her father's class. His name was Claquesous. He got harassed every day, he was THAT kid. So one day her father's class are checking out books at the library and he sees his tormentors. He decides that today he's going to be the bully. So he-" Eponine's voice broke.

"He what?" Enjolras asked, although they all practically knew what was coming next.

"He pulled the gun out of his backpack and aimed. Her father put himself in front of the bullet. He bled out in front of her mother. The kid kept firing and then her mother couldn't stop crying. We all watched the video at the trail. He shot her mother because she couldn't stop crying. She died instantly." Eponine relayed.

Silence followed. None of them knew what to say. Not even Enjolras. He just kept looking at Grantaire. He remembered how she smiled. Such a beautiful smile. He wondered how after losing so much so quickly and so brutally she could smile. He brushed some of her hair behind her ears. She didn't twitch. She just slept on. Eponine saw and burst into tears again.

Eponine did not come again for several weeks.

They did not blame her.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Grantaire did not move. When they were alone, Enjolras would talk to her. Often times it was mundane things. How his classes were going, how the college atmosphere was, even the food he was learning to cook. He searched her face every time for any little twitch of movement, but he found none. Eponine finally accepted what had happened to her best friend and started to visit as much as she could. The visits mostly consisted of her holding Grantaire's hand and begging for forgiveness.

Finals came and finals went. All the Amis passed them. They couldn't have failed them really, with how many hours were spent in Grantaire's hospital room, pouring over their books. Winter break came. His parents extended the usual 'come home for Christmas' invitation. He knew they were lying about wanting him home but at least this time he could give a legitimate excuse for avoiding them all winter break. As usual, he got no response. Eponine had to go home. This was the only time of year she got to see her family. She gave him a hug before she left, saying she trusted him to watch over her friend in her absence. She was not happy when she returned. Enjolras knew better than to ask.

On Christmas Eve, he brought her a present, nothing super special but something he hoped she would like when she woke. He left the envelope right next to her bedside and waited as their friends dropped off their own presents. Combeferre, Courfeyrac and Jehan, who was staying with Courfeyrac for Christmas, all offered to stay with him. He politely declined. He only had one person he wanted to spend Christmas with. Christmas Day came, and the hours were extended because of the holiday. Seven to eleven. He arrived at six fifty-nine. He knew the others would come after having their own Christmas mornings, so he decided she could open his present earlier than the others. He opened the envelope and pulled out his black ribbon. It wasn't some fancy or expensive gift, but he hoped she would enjoy it. He tied it around her wrist and, once more, asked her to wake up.

She didn't.

Winter break passed. School started back up. He almost wanted to forsake his classes, having gotten used to spending every moment of the day with Grantaire. But he knew she would kill him if she found out that he forsook his education for her. She would not believe herself worthy of waiting for. In a way, he was glad. He had more things to talk about. The shock of what happened seemed to wear off and he dived right back into his work. Just, instead of doing it at home or at the Musain, he did it in her room. He would ask her opinion of teachers, his workload, of the antics their friends were still getting up to, and even on his work directly. A small part of him hoped she would counter whatever 'optimistic' suggestion he had for the government. She never did.

The other Amis had begun their lives once more. Their visits became less frequent, but not by choice. Enjolras knew their classes were hard and teachers piled homework on as well as many tests. Next to him, surprisingly, it was Bahorel who could visit most. As Enjolras read, he could scarcely hear Bahorel talk to her. It was not about the mundane things Enjolras told her. Bahorel spoke of strange lands and magical creatures. It took much longer than Enjolras would care to admit to discover Bahorel was reading to her. The day he realized it, he looked up from his book, to Bahorel's, and then to the man himself.

"She loves the movies. She and I would talk about them all the time. I thought she might enjoy the books. Ep said she'd never read them." Bahorel explained to Enjolras's confused expression.

The book was J. R. R. Tolkien's _The Fellowship of the Ring_.

Bahorel read through the trilogy. Next, the prequel. She made no move to prove she heard him.

On February the twenty-second, they celebrated her nineteenth birthday. Except, unlike Christmas they gave no gifts. She was not awake to open them.

March passed. And then April. Then May. School ended. He, Combeferre and Courfeyrac moved into an off-campus apartment. Eponine stayed with Marius and Cosette. The others had apartments already. During June and July, Enjolras interned at a law office. He'd been setting it up since before Grantaire got hurt so he could not abandon the internship now. It cut down on the time he spent with Grantaire, so he hardly stayed longer than he had to. His bosses never understood why he never made friends or went out for drinks as the others did. They would ask him about it.

"The woman I love is in the hospital. She was attacked in November, at our Take Back the Night rally. She has not woken since. I go every day to check on her. I pray that she's woken, though I know she probably has not. I want to be there when she does so she has at least one familiar face. I know the hospital will call me if she wakes and I'm not there, but I go anyways. I talk to her sometimes. Tell her about my day. About our friends. I don't care about making new friends, sirs, because she is enough for me. I don't go out for drinks because I have nothing to drink to. Does that answer your question?"

They did not ask again.

August came. Nothing had changed, other than Enjolras had three offers for internships for the next year. School would start again soon. Enjolras signed up for the necessary classes but nothing more. More classes meant more time away from Grantaire. But when September rolled around, even he had begun to lose hope she would ever wake.

"Earth to Enjolras. Earth to Enjolras." He swatted the hand snapping in his face.

"What is it?" He snapped back.

Courfeyrac and Combeferre were standing next to him with a newspaper in hand. Combeferre held it out and he took it. For once, Courfeyrac, who smiled even when Grantaire did nothing but sleep, was fuming.

_College student who put girl in a coma at the Take Back the Protest sentenced to three years in prison._

The article did not reveal Grantaire's name, thanks to Valjean. But even three years did not seem like justice and he voiced as such.

"It was his first offense, and he was drunk. The jury took pity on him. They did not wish to make an example of him." Courfeyrac spat.

"They should have." Enjolras growled, staring at Grantaire's face so he would not cry.

"Of course they should have. He's already stolen eleven months of her life. He might as well of killed her! And all he gets is three years!" Courfeyrac shouted, unable to contain himself.

Then it happened. If he hadn't been looking, he would've missed it. As Courfeyrac shouted, her nose gave the tiniest little twitch.

"Grantaire!" He exclaimed, rushing to her side. "Grantaire?"

But as quickly as the moment had appeared, it was gone, like clouds covering up the sun. She did not move again.

"What is it? Should I call a nurse?" Combeferre asked hurriedly.

"I saw her twitch. Her nose. I almost missed it but I saw it. I know I saw it. She's still in there, somewhere. She hasn't given up yet." Enjolras said breathlessly.

He couldn't believe it. Somewhere deep down in her mind, she heard Courfeyrac shout. Just as he was about to give up, she proved him wrong once more. This time, he didn't mind being proven wrong. He _really_ didn't mind.

The news of the ever-so-slight twitch brought everyone together again. They still met once every two weeks in her room for the meetings but this was different. The nurses would often have to kick them out because they spent too long in her room and the rules still said only two people allowed. The second person varied from time to time. All the Amis knew that Enjolras would not leave her side so they did not make him. Sometimes it was Eponine and Combeferre, other times Jehan and Courfeyrac. Bahorel stayed whenever he could. Feuilly had work, Joly couldn't stay too long in a hospital, and Bousset as well as he nearly had a scalpel thrust into his stomach accidentally. Marius and Cosette still came every Saturday. But September came and went. So did October. Then November. The first year anniversary of her attack came and went. She did not stir. She looked the same as she always did, except her hair was a little longer. It still splashed across the pillow, her pink lips still ever so slightly parted, her cheeks still slightly flushed, and her magnificent blue eyes still were hidden by heavy lids. That was the worst part. Not seeing her eyes. Every day he would search her face for those pools of fiery ice. Every day they were hidden. December came. So did finals. Once more, her room became a library, full of ten students with as many books as they could fit into their bags. Silence reigned in her room. Once they had tried shouting again, to see if she would react again, but she gave no movement. Enjolras sometimes wondered if the twitch was how her body proved she lost the fight. But then he would berate himself. She may be cynical, drunken, and beat down. But he knew her well enough to know she would never give up. He couldn't fathom her giving up. Finals passed, in both senses. Winter break came once more.

"When did you know you were in love with her?" Eponine asked one day while Combeferre was in the bathroom.

"I'm not quite sure, but I think it was when I slapped her. I was so mad at myself for days afterward. I couldn't believe I'd done that. After I promised myself, I would try to be careful. She told me what her old classmates used to do to her. How she became paranoid of people. I told myself that I would never do anything to hurt her. And I broke it. And when she wouldn't smile... I couldn't believe what I had done. I had nightmares about it for a week. I didn't want her out of my life. she said she caught me staring at her." He answered.

"We all caught you staring at her. But she didn't seem to notice so we never said anything." She interrupted.

"Anyways, I caught her staring back and the first time I did, I knew it wasn't hopeless. That what we had wasn't lost. And that chased the nightmares away. Chased away the bad thoughts. To me, that was worth everything." He finished.

_Dear son,_

_We would be delighted to have you home for Christmas this year. However, if you wish to remain with your friend in the hospital, we shall allow it._

_With much love,_

_Your mother and father_

He tore the paper to pieces and swore. He did not need his parents' permission to stay with Grantaire. He never needed his parents' permission for anything.

"You're lucky, in a way, Grantaire." He said as he threw the letter away. He was alone that day, most of their friends were in class or getting food.

She did not respond.

"You see, your parents loved you. Mine don't. Not anymore. The minute they found my civil rights' pamphlets in my room, those were my first ones you see, they hated me. They're very conservative Christian Republicans. They did not agree with my views. They still wanted their only son, paid my tuition and things like that but until I agree that homosexuals are an abomination in the eyes of God, they will not want me. Your brother was gay and they loved him. At least, I've never been told otherwise. And they gave you your guitar. Eponine polishes it every day. It's waiting for you to come and play it again. I've stopped going to the open mike night. Without you there to listen to, I can't find a reason to go. You truly made beautiful music. I'm sorry I didn't get to hear it the first couple of times. You're extremely talented. You can go very far in music. I know art isn't such a practical industry but you're good enough to make it. Good enough to become the next Eric Clapton if I have my music right."

Too steady breaths were his response.

"I miss you. It's so strange not seeing you up and around. Laughing, cursing at me, yelling at me, pulling my pigtails. I miss your eyes. And your voice. I miss you so much, Grantaire. Please, you must fight. Come back to us."

Nothing.

His heart sank a little more. Soon, he thought it would sink no further. There was little more for it to go until it reached its breaking point.

He sat down in the hospital chair. He watched her for a time. His eyes grew heavy. He could take a nap… wouldn't hurt. He'd done so many times before. He wouldn't oversleep. One of their friends would come and visit and wake him up. Yeah, a nap would be nice. Just had to close his eyes…

* * *

**So how did I do? Again with the medical stuff, I only have the Internet. If it's wrong, somehow, I'm sorry. Tell me what you think of this! I'll give cookies to the people who review... Oh wait. Now I sound like the Dark Side.**


	14. Chapter 14

She knew she was in a hospital before she even opened her eyes. She'd gone through this more times than she could count. She knew the feel of the hospital gown, the beep of the heartbeat monitor, the annoying sensation of three IVs. But she didn't remember having a seizure… Must've hit her head in some way. Sadly, she'd done that too many times before too. Deciding she'd gotten her head on straight, she opened her eyes. She was right. Hospital. She looked down at the IV, and saw something she did not expect. Enjolras's black ribbon, or what she thought was Enjolras's ribbon. It was about the same length, not that she'd tried to memorize how long it was, no of course not, and a single golden strand was left. Maybe he washed it. Still, the thought was entirely sweet.

She took a breath and her eyes roamed her room, which was full of chairs. Ah, the Amis had come to visit her. She smiled at the thought. She truly loved her friends. They were so good to her. She'd have to remember to give them all hugs later on.

One of the chairs was filled. Her eyes traveled over him. He seemed to have fallen asleep. He looked just like he did when he fell asleep on her and Ep's couch. Except… wait… oh God say it isn't so…

"OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!" She screamed, brokenhearted. His hair was always so beautiful… why would he do this?

Her shout woke him, and scared him. He fell off of the chair and landed on his ass. If such a crime against humanity hadn't occurred, she would've laughed.

"Grantaire! Oh thank God! We were so worried!" He cried and actually hugged her. To make things stranger, he started kissing her face, whispering as he did. "I- meant- it. Every- word."

"Whoa, whoa. Not that I don't like what you're doing, um, first off what did you mean by you meant it? And why were you so worried? Seizures are kind of commonplace with me. And what the hell did you do to your hair?" She asked, thoroughly confused.

"I cut it. It was getting too long. What's the last thing you remember?" Enjolras asked, pulling back. His face was confused and a little afraid. It made her feel really uncomfortable.

"Um, we were going to study today. At my apartment. For midterms next week." She answered.

He blanched. Suddenly, she started feeling really scared.

"You're scaring me." She whispered, wanting to bring her knees to her chest but found she could not lift them.

"Just let me get the doctor. It'll be fine." He said, running out of the room.

Something was off. Other than Enjolras cutting his hair. He seemed scared. Maybe she'd hurt herself more than hitting her head. She could barely move. She felt like she hadn't moved in years. The medication she was on maybe...

An elderly man who reminded her of Jean came in the room with Enjolras trailing behind. Enjolras seemed to be on the phone. He was calling Eponine. She could tell her friend's voice when she started screaming.

"Hello, dear. Do you know me? My name is Doctor Madeleine." He asked.

Strange question. Maybe he'd helped her before.

"No. Sorry." She answered.

"It's quite all right, dear. Just to check your mental activity, can you tell me the full date?" He smiled.

Finally. Something familiar.

"October 25, 2013." She responded.

The doctor pressed his lips together sadly at her. A cold feeling started in her heart. She'd gotten the question wrong. Only question was, how far off was she?

"I'm sorry, my dear. I'm afraid the date is December 19, 2014." Madeleine said.

She couldn't breathe. A year and two months. This was no seizure. Unexpectedly, Enjolras was holding her, rubbing circles into her back. He had to pick her up in order to get her to move. She couldn't do it herself.

"Montparnasse threw a bottle of beer at your head. It still had some beer in it and it went into your brain. You've been in a coma since." Enjolras told her.

"But, why? He- I don't even- when?" She held back sobs. It was Enjolras holding her together.

Enjolras gulped. Doctor Madeleine nodded to him and he nodded. "At the Tack Back the Night protest. November 16."

She couldn't hold it together anymore. She broke down into tears and Enjolras merely brought her closer. It seemed like forever in a second but soon they weren't alone. People were saying 'It's all right' and 'It's so good to see you' and 'I'm so sorry' but the many voices blurred together a little. However, she knew the voices well enough to know Eponine, Combeferre, Courfeyrac and Jehan had all joined the hug.

"The others will be here soon. Joly and Musichetta are going to pick Bousset up from class, Marius, Cosette, and Jean should be here any minute now and Bahorel is grabbing Feuilly from work." Was the first discernible thing she could tell Courfeyrac said. She fared a nod and the others just held her tighter.

"I can't breathe." She managed to choke out.

Everyone but Enjolras let her go. She panted, exhausted, resting her head on Enjolras's head. She didn't say it, but she was so grateful for his presence. He was strong, marble, and could support the falling pieces of her existence. She raised her eyes for a moment and saw his eyes full of an emotion she couldn't describe. Her breath started to quicken as she looked at him.

"I can run back to your house and get your meds. Do you need them?" Eponine said, tears in her eyes.

"No. Don't think so. Just overwhelmed. Fourteen months. Gone. I- I can't believe it." She gasped, tearing her eyes from Enjolras. Somehow, she felt ever-so-slightly weaker without his gaze.

"Everything is going to be all right." Enjolras promised.

"No it's not. I mean, school for one. And, well, mostly school. I can't even remember November. I don't even feel like I've been in a coma. I feel like I just woke up from a too short nap." She sighed.

"Your body has had a lot of time to heal. That's all." Combeferre soothed.

She nodded again. A yawn escaped her lips and she gasped which ended with her choking. Yawning and gasping together hurt. She knew she was tired, the conversation exhausting her more, but she wouldn't sleep again. She couldn't.

"I'm tired. I've been sleeping for a year, I'm not sleeping again. I'm not. I won't!" She freaked out.

"Hey, that's normal. When people wake from a coma after head trauma, they are fatigued. And in the real sense, you weren't asleep. You were unconscious. You haven't rested in fourteen months. So feeling tired is natural." Combeferre's logic calmed her.

She nodded and yawned again.

"It's all right, René. You can sleep. I promise I _will_ wake you again." Enjolras whispered, so low she knew the others hadn't heard him.

Enjolras never broke a promise.

She nodded and Enjolras moved so she could lay down. Enjolras held out her call button, ready to dispense pain medication to put her out for hours. It scared her much more than she cared to admit.

"Wait. I want to see everyone. I don't fall asleep just yet. I can sleep after I see them. They must want to see me. Please." Enjolras grabbed her hand and slowly put the call button down. He did not let go of her hand. She did not have the strength nor will to pull away from him.

"I'll ask Doctor Madeleine if you should have so many visitors." Combeferre went to leave.

"I don't give a damn. I want to see them. I- I won't sleep until I see them." She knew not listening to doctors was a bad idea but she couldn't sleep yet. She was still too terrified of never waking up again.

When Enjolras squeezed her hand, she knew he knew and understood.

"Combeferre, see if this compromise is acceptable. The others will arrive and she will have ten minutes starting when the last arrives. And when the ten minutes is up, she will lay down, close her eyes and sleep." Enjolras suggested.

Combeferre nodded and went to the doctor. He came back a few minutes later.

"He agreed if you start resting now. Not sleeping but just resting. Which is basically not moving." Combeferre relayed.

She nodded. Sleep tugged at her vision but she fought it tooth and nail. Marius, Cosette and Jean arrived first. Jean got through to her first. He was crying. He hugged her tightly and told her how proud he was of her. How he knew she would wake. When he pulled back, Marius and Cosette hugged her the same way. They weren't crying but they looked like they would when they finally pulled away.

She shifted slightly, unused to all the physical touch. She knew that her friends were ecstatic to see her awake, she would be if one of them was unconscious for months, but all the hugs reminded her of when her parents died. Their friends had hugged her and Ryan until they wouldn't come out of their rooms. The hugs were even beginning to hurt. Enjolras just squeezed her hand again. She needed to find a time when they were alone so she could thank him for all he was doing. She was afraid of that talk in a way, but she knew it couldn't be all bad. After all, Enjolras had kissed her face multiple times. That had to mean something.

She was so lost in thought, and shifting had taken so much energy that she didn't know her eyes had closed of their own accord and she strayed out of thought and time.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell her." Enjolras's voice, full of such sadness, rooted her to a half conscious state.

"It wasn't your fault, Enjolras." Eponine assured him.

"How am I supposed to tell her I crossed that line? That I said what I said about her brother. That I slapped her. That I doubted her. How am I supposed to tell her that?" Enjolras asked.

"I don't think you should. Not now. Wait a couple months. Wait until she adjusts back to her life. You may not ever want to tell her about it. Maybe it's for the best she doesn't remember. It's up to you. I can't tell you how she'll react to it. When you decide, tell us and we'll stand behind it. I trust that you'll choose what's best for the two of you." Eponine said.

"Thank you, Eponine. That means a lot." Enjolras swallowed, his voice thick with emotion.

"You never left her side. That meant something too." Eponine shrugged. She may not have seen her friend, her eyes were like lead, but she knew her friend well enough to know her mannerisms.

"Do you… do you think we have a chance? Being together? She and Jehan lasted two weeks and they were so much more compatible together." Enjolras hesitantly asked.

"Well, given how she's basically been in love with you since she first saw you, I'd say a pretty good one. If you'll indulge my cheesiness, your relationship is like Tom and Jerry. You remember that old TV show? Good, well, you guys tease each other, chase each other, knock each other down, irritate each other but you cannot live without one another." Eponine smiled.

She could feel Enjolras's hand brush some of her hair back, she knew it was him by his fingers- Eponine's fingers were much smaller and less nimble- and she tumbled back into slumber.

"I thought you said she was awake!" Bahorel's shouts planted her back to awareness. She did not have the energy to open her eyes though. She desperately wanted to but she did not have enough strength to lift even a fraction of her lead eyelids.

"She did wake, Bahorel. I swear she did. But now we need to let her sleep. She needs time to rebuild her strength. She has almost none now. Muscle atrophy. She needs rest." Combeferre said.

"Muscle atrophy?" Bahorel asked.

"Her muscles are so used to not moving she doesn't have the strength to move them. Enjolras had to lift her to get her to move. And we all saw the wince. She barely held her own head up. Nodding took more strength than knocking you out with a single punch." Combeferre explained.

Bahorel didn't answer him but she could feel his hand on hers, his thumb running over the back of her hand. She could feel the sadness radiating off of her friend.

She knew she could not open her eyes so she did not try. That would've been a waste of precious energy. So she managed to turn her head, or rather tipped it slightly and gravity did the rest.

She could hear Bahorel's smile.

She wasn't sure, sleep descended to quickly to really determine if this was true, but she could have sworn she heard Bahorel whisper, "That's my girl."

The next time she woke, she woke for good. She had the strength to open her eyes and hold them open. Eponine and Enjolras were outside, speaking in hushed tones, obviously not wanting to wake her.

"I'm right here, you know." She said.

Unfortunately, they didn't hear her. The conversation had turned into an argument.

"Eponine, she needs you here." Enjolras was saying.

"I don't have a choice. If you don't believe me, ask René. As much as I want to be here for her, and trust me I do, but I get one chance a year to visit my brother and sister. I don't like my parents, but those kids look forward to me coming every year. I'm some of the only happiness they get this time of year. I love her like a sister. But for ten days, my duty is to Gavroche and Azelma. My plane leaves in an hour. I need to go." Eponine disputed.

"Can you at least say goodbye?" René shouted as loud as she could. Which wasn't loud but they heard her this time.

Eponine smiled but René could see her heart break in her eyes.

"Tell your Gav and Zel I say hi and that I miss them." René said, trying to sooth her friend.

Eponine nodded and gave her a hug she wanted to return but couldn't.

"I'll only be gone for ten days." Eponine promised.

"I'll be all right. I have a good guard dog." René said and Eponine laughed while Enjolras rolled his eyes. She wasn't sure which she liked better.

"All right. I'd say don't get too drunk on Christmas but I don't think they'll let you have alcohol in this place." Eponine mused.

"Ah, Dionysus without her wine! What tragedy." Enjolras dramatized.

René stared at him. "Since when do you make Greek mythology references?"

"Someone had to since you couldn't. During winter break last year," It was clear neither missed her flinch at how much time she had missed, "I read up on Greek mythology. I thought we could argue gods and men when you woke up."

"I'd like that." René smiled. "Now, go Ep, before I kick your ass out the door."

Eponine hugged her again and headed out.

"You're still mad at her." René commented.

"Was I that obvious?" He asked.

"Not really. I just know exactly what you look like when you're mad and don't want to show it. You've given me that look a couple hundred times." She said.

"I guess I have. You just woke up. I know it's none of my business, but I can't help but get mad. You deserve her here." He admitted.

"It's only for ten days. Besides, she wasn't exaggerating. Eponine would've moved Gav and Zel in with her if she could. Her parents aren't abusive, or neglectful. They're just terrible people. Criminals with rap sheets as long as your arms. And that's just what they've been caught with. Always misdemeanors, and since they've had kids they stopped. Getting caught that is. Since anyone can have kids, they've been getting sneakier. They don't want their kids getting taken from them. Her parents are basically gypsies, without the culture. Luckily, she's been able to convince Gavroche and Azelma that stealing is bad and ripping people off does not run in the family. Gavroche can be a little devil sometimes, and Azelma doesn't always listen when she should. But they never stop loving her. And her parents may lie about how they got the money for Christmas presents, or how they acquired such presents. Does she like her parents? God, no. Does she love her parents, no matter what, at the end of the day? Yes. Do they love her back, despite all the arguments and rebellion? Yes. And if you didn't get it, I want the rebellion part in quotations." She clarified.

He nodded.

"I'm tired of this serious stuff. Let's talk about something fun." She said, trying to pass off her exhaustion as annoyance.

He didn't buy it. "Would you like to listen to some radio? Christmas songs are on."

"Christmas songs are acceptable." She smiled.

He grabbed the radio she didn't know was there and turned onto the Christmas song channel.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There is just one thing I need  
I don't care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree." The radio starting singing.

She licked her lips and Enjolras fetched her a glass of water. She hated depending on him so much, but she couldn't even raise her arm to grab the paper cup. He helped up into a sitting position and she greedily drank the content. After she drained the cup, Enjolras laid her back down.

"You don't have to do this, you know." She murmured, her eyes sliding close.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Helping me so much. There's plenty of people who can do it." She would've shrugged if she had the energy.

"Yes. But a guard dog does not leave his mistress's side and will fetch her a newspaper when she asks him too." He teased.

"Okay. I'm sorry for calling you a guard dog. Happy?" She groaned, opening her eyes again.

"You should be resting." He said softly.

"I don't feel like it. What I really want is a nice, medium rare cheeseburger American fast food style. Nothing healthy for you at all. Not even the healthy shit. It's making my mouth water." She sighed.

"Well, when they take those," He pointed to the IVs in her arms, "out, I will get you one. I promise. But not until then."

"I will hold you to that. You never break a promise." She didn't miss the sad look in his eyes when she said that.

But the sadness disappeared in a second replaced by a smile. "I promise."

"You said that already." She remarked.

"I know. I was sealing the deal." He shrugged.

She laughed.

"What?" He smiled. It seemed her laughter was contagious as he started laughing too.

"For a boy so eloquent, you sure as Hell don't know half of what you're saying." She explained and he blushed.

"Well that obviously came out wrong." He salvaged.

"Obviously." She echoed, trying to sound like Snape and failing.

"Don't mock me Grantaire." He glared at her.

"Ah but what would the world come to if mighty Apollo wasn't mocked by the cynical drunken Hyacinthus?" She asked.

He considered this for a moment. "I don't know. There might be world peace."

"You ass!" She wanted to be mad but couldn't help laughing.

He chuckled lightly. The music had changed to something softer, Eartha Kitt. Her eyes closed again, her will to stay awake done in by the soft tones of the music.

"You should be resting." She heard Enjolras whisper and she felt him pull the blanket up further, effectively tucking her in.

"'M not tired." She whined, knowing exactly how much she sounded like a petulant child. She was so tired she didn't care.

"Of course you aren't." Enjolras whispered.

Her fear of falling asleep had not been purged by this one sleep. She willed her hand to move and held back a scream as fire built up in her hands. She succeeded but couldn't stop the groans and trembles from pain.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Enjolras asked, worry etching into his face.

"I tried moving my hand. God, it hurts. I'm all right. I can manage." She drew several deep breaths and the fire died down slightly. But not by anything measurable.

"Do you want me to push your pain medication button?" He offered.

"No! No. I don't like being on pain medication. I know it sounds stupid and weak but… I've built my life on self-control. I'm sorry but you have no idea how hard it was… building what you see. I used to have seizures… daily and I had to fight to stop it. Obviously… my medication helped but a lot of it was controlling everything. Controlling my stimuli, my emotions… everything. Morphine takes that control away from me… it makes me feel stupid and dizzy and weak… what are you…"

The last thing she was conscious of was Enjolras whispering in her ear, "Sometimes your friend's gotta step in and take control for you."

* * *

**Aw poor Grantaire. I've done research on muscle atrophy and I know I never want to go through it. So I'll make her go through it. Mwa ha ha! Just kidding, muscle atrophy would set in with anyone who is in a coma for that long. Hopefully, I've appeased some fears of yours. However, this is not the end of Grantaire's pain woes. Sorry. Okay, no I'm not. So until the next time, adieu mon chers.**


	15. Chapter 15

Sometimes, René wondered if becoming a quadriplegic was worth it. Pain came from every movement and her physical therapy had only just started. They had to do everything in the water because otherwise she couldn't stand the pain. Four people had to help maneuver her into the water so she wasn't in unbearable agony every single time. She felt like such an idiot. If it weren't for her being an epileptic, and more used to this kind of behavior from hospital staff, she might've completely lost her mind and stabbed herself in the neck. Well, when she could move her arm. The others were back in school, Eponine included, so she was left alone for multiple parts of different days. However, it wasn't long before Enjolras returned to her. He almost never left her side. She had to yell at him a couple times to go to class right before her physical therapy because he wanted to stay with her and help her through it. On the bright side, she could move her fingers. She couldn't move her arm, that still was too painful and took too much effort but she could change the channel on the TV, on the remote of course, and could text. It took some time to respond but she managed without pain, most of the time. She couldn't hold her phone but with it spread out on her lap, she could easily send out messages. Jean was often her correspondent as he was the only one was could text at any point of the day since he was independently (although it was more like extremely) wealthy and retired. So far, she was keeping him updated on the adventures of 'Code Lyoko'. It was on the three hours in between the bulk of her friends' classes and physical therapy so she watched it every day. It was actually really entertaining. She was quite invested in it. Right now, 'Musique mortelle' (Killer Music) was playing.

_Bahorel: How's my pretty drinking partner?_

**Me: I'm watching my show. Odd fainted from music that no one knows who wrote it. Kiwi won't stop barking, but no one is listening. Ulrich and Jeremie are having an impromptu sleepover and Jeremie keeps talking about Aelita in his sleep. I'm torn between fangasming over Jeremie/Aelita and worrying over Odd.**

_Bahorel: I… have no idea what to tell you._

**Me: I've been watching this since they restarted the first season. Since I'm going to be here awhile, I might as well get invested in something. AH! I need to you do something. Immediately.**

_Bahorel: What? Do you need me to come and get you anything? I can skip class. I know it just started but I can get the notes…_

**Me: I need you to find the writers of Code Lyoko and kill them. Slowly. Torture them because they are torturing me. Odd has a very low pulse and they have to take him to the hospital. 'Rel he could die!**

_Bahorel: You're kidding, right?_

**Me: HE COULD DIE!**

_Bahorel: Is he in the opening credits?_

**Me: Yeah…**

_Bahorel: He's not going to die. Wait, how many episodes are there in season one? And which are you on?_

**Me: Season: 27. Me: 18.**

_Bahorel: He's not going to die. Satisfied?_

**Me: Ulrich is dead! Do you hear me Bahorel? ULRICH IS DEAD! He sacrificed himself to save Yumi and Aelita! And he's in the opening credits! You lied! You lied! If crying didn't hurt so much, I would be.**

_Bahorel: I've never seen the show. If I have, I'm too old to remember it._

**Me: You're no help.**

_Bahorel: Did I say that would help?_

**Me: Ass.**

_Bahorel: Title accepted._

**Me: Oh thank God. Jeremie got to the 'return to the past' button before he fainted. Day saved. Ulrich is alive again. Everyone is okay.**

_Bahorel: I told you. In the opening credits, they won't kill them. Shit. DO NOT RESPOND._

She smiled and went back to Code Lyoko.

_Bahorel: Phew. Almost got caught. That would've sucked._

**Me: Bad professor?**

_Bahorel: Not by the professor. He's chill. Almost got caught by Enjolras._

**Me: LOL. Don't make me laugh so hard it hurts.**

_Bahorel: Sorry, but the consequences could have been disastrous._

**Me: Why's the stick up his ass now?**

_Bahorel: He thinks its rude when people text while the prof is talking. Although, if he knew I was talking to you, he might be more lenient._

**Me: What do I have to do with it?**

_Bahorel: Enjolras can be extremely possessive. And when you got hurt, you were his world. When he wasn't doing anything he considered worthwhile, he was by your side. And keeping you happy is now his number one priority. So if he found out I was making you laugh, he might be all right. However, if he actually read the text he'd probably ditch and make sure everything was all right with you. Doesn't help he's pretty much in love with you._

**Me: …**

_Bahorel: Didn't mean to scare you. I thought he told you he never left you._

**Me: Actually, I overheard him and Ep talking about that first day I woke up. He said something about him crossing some line. Something about my brother. It's fuzzy, I don't remember too well.**

_Bahorel: That's for him to tell you. He'll tell you when he's ready. Or, better phrase, when he thinks you're ready._

**Me: Well thanks. Bitch.**

_Bahorel: Doing my duty under the title 'ass'. Do you remember anything else about that day?_

**Me: Not really. Everything is kind of blurred together. I can remember the first bit but after that it all goes murky, like my memories are a marsh.**

_Bahorel: Like the Dead Marshes, huh?_

**Me: I'm lost.**

_Bahorel: Oh. Sorry._

**Me: Are you upset?**

_Bahorel: Well so much for the theory that people can hear you when they're in a coma._

**Me: What are you talking about?**

_Bahorel: While you were unconscious, I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy to you. And the Hobbit._

**Me: I don't know whether to be touched or annoyed that I can't remember it.**

_Bahorel: Be neither. Enjolras is going to kill me._

**Me: Did he catch you?**

_Bahorel: Worse. I upset you._

**Me: Yeah well tell him to get over it. I'm not a child.**

_Bahorel: Says the girl who got upset that a children's TV show character died and was appeased when he was brought back._

**Me: STFU.**

_Bahorel: Easily testy, are we?_

**Me: Coming from the man who once started a bar fight because someone said his hat looked girly.**

_Bahorel: That was Feuilly's work hat. Of course I had to defend his honor._

**Me: So that's why he was so embarrassed the next day. I just thought you said something to him on the ride home back to your flat after I called him to pick you up.**

_Bahorel: So that was you. Traitor._

**Me: You were bleeding out of your ear. Feel lucky I didn't call an ambulance.**

_Bahorel: Why didn't you?_

**Me: You asked me not to. I trusted you.**

_Bahorel: Grantaire, while I am extremely glad that he is keeping you entertained, I shall have his phone for the rest of class. He is being extremely rude and I will not have him reflect badly on the Les Amis. I'll text you later when we're out of class._

**Me: I'll probably be in the water so I won't be able to text back immediately.**

_Bahorel: Understood. Until physical therapy is over, then._

**Me: Bye boys!**

She watched Code Lyoko for another hour and a half. Then a nurse came in with a wheelchair. She was one of the four who helped her into the water. Euphrasie. In some ways, she reminded René of Cosette. Long, blonde hair, spunky, usually happy and perky and that feeling that she wanted to talk about her boy/girlfriend for the entire time you had a conversation.

"Ready for today?" She asked brightly. René figured when you're not the one holding back screams when you enter the water, you could be a little bright.

"If I say no, do I not have to do it?" René tried.

"Of course. Your answer means everything to me." Euphrasie's sarcasm was dripping. Another reason she reminded her of Cosette, her sarcasm factor.

"I'm so happy you asked then." She remarked dryly.

"Well, if I can't torture you with immense pain every second of the day, I can at least annoy you with useless questions." Euphrasie deadpanned.

That got a snort of laughter. Anything more seriously hurt.

"Come on, René. We're going to work on your stomach muscles today. It'll help with deep breaths, laughter, sitting up." Euphrasie smiled at her as she picked René up and put her in the wheelchair. She winced as her muscles protested the movement before settling into a dull ache as she was wheeled into the elevator.

"So what happened today?" Euphrasie asked.

"Well, XANA tried three separate times to kill them. All failed. And apparently one of my friends is more of a hard ass when it comes to phones in class than the teacher is." She answered.

Euphrasie laughed lightly.

* * *

She can only describe physical therapy one way- excruciating but necessary. She felt so grateful that her face muscles responded really well and she could easily use them after only a couple days. Otherwise, all the wincing, teeth clenching, face scrunching, and nodding/shaking her head would be absolutely impossible. And that was the only thing that kept her from passing out most days.

Two agonizing hours later, and little progress on her stomach, they finally pulled her out of the water and helped her back into a wheelchair. Her eyes closed of their own accord and she sank limply into the chair. _You know, instead of putting people in prison, they should put them in a coma for like a couple years. Then put them through this. Crime would become almost nonexistent._

"But then people would revolt for cruel and unusual punishment against prisoners." Euphrasie said lightly.

_Oh. Hadn't meant to say that aloud._

"I'm used to it by now." Euphrasie shrugged.

_That either._

"I think you need to sleep, dear." Euphrasie chuckled.

She was on something soft now. She desperately wanted to sleep, less frightened of sleep but found she couldn't. There was something stopping her. Something… delicious.

"Um, I can come back." Enjolras muttered.

"No!" She forced her eyes open and saw Enjolras clutching a bag of insalubrious ambrosia. "I can smell it!"

He gave her a surprised look.

"She is a little loopy from pain right now so I wouldn't trust most things she says. She even said that she thought prisoners should be put into a coma and have to endure muscle atrophy for punishment." Euphrasie told him.

"I'm right here, Euphrasie. Thanks. Please, stop torturing me. I can smell it." She repeated.

"Torture, Grantaire? Really? Against prisoners?" Enjolras glared at her.

"I can't lift my arms to take the bag from you. Open the damn thing." She shouted, now unable to take the delectable smell.

"Can she have this?" Enjolras asked.

"Yes." Euphrasie answered.

"Euphrasie, you are now my favorite person ever. Second, Enjolras for bringing it to me. I can't take it anymore. I haven't had real food in years!" She dramatized.

"It was only one." Enjolras dismissed and sat down beside her.

She watched in mouth-watering awe as Enjolras extracted the McDonald's Big Mac from the bag. He had to hold it to her mouth for her to eat it but she didn't care. She devoured it like a pack of rabid wolves.

"Ow! Watch the fingers! I still use those, thank you very much." Enjolras winced, rubbing his fingers where she'd accidentally bitten them.

"Sorry. I was hungry. And it tasted so good." She blushed.

"I could tell." He remarked dryly.

"Excuse me?" She asked, confused.

"Were the sensual moans really necessary? It's just food. Good food, but food nonetheless." He responded.

"I didn't know I was moaning." She blushed deeper.

"Of course you didn't. Only you would moan erotically while eating a cheeseburger and not realize it." He said but a small smile crept across his face.

"No. Courfeyrac would do it to." She defended.

"No. He would do it on purpose." He corrected.

"Valid point." She conceded, laughing. She took a breath. "Can I ask you a question?"

He nodded.

"What happened to Montparnasse? No one's told me." She asked.

"This last August he was sentenced to three years in prison for assault." He answered.

"Oh." She said. She considered this a moment. She wanted to feel anger, sadness, anything but she felt nothing. Indifference. She found she didn't care. She wasn't sure why.

"Are you all right?" He brought her face up to his. His eyes held sympathy, righteous anger and a little fear in their intense blue.

"Just tired." She replied.

"Can I ask you a question before you take a nap?" He said, biting his lip slightly.

She nodded, knowing that was his nervous tick. However, she wasn't sure how she knew that.

"Do you think we have a chance? At being together. Romantically." He asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I like you as more than a friend, I really do, and I'm willing to see where it could go. But right now, I don't think I'm up for it. I can't even move to give you a hug. When I get out of the hospital, or at least when my physical therapy is over, we can try. But not now. Understand?" She got the nerve to look him in the eye once she'd finished.

"I think I do. But, if you'll forgive me this one trespass." With that warning, Enjolras leaned down, cupped the side of her face and brought his lips to hers.

A thousand sensations flooded her mind. Nerves that hadn't been used in months lit up like a Christmas tree, and for once it wasn't painful. She felt alive, on fire and she never wanted this feeling to end. She kissed back as much as she could as his free fingers started to run through her hair, escalating every sense she had. Much too soon, he pulled away.

"You should rest." He murmured, a little breathless.

"Okay, you can't just kiss a girl and tell her to sleep after something like that." She pouted.

"I apologize. I don't know proper kissing etiquette. I've never had a girlfriend before." His hand, which was still on her face, started to stroke her cheeks.

"Well, that's mean. Don't do that again. Make it up to me. Kiss me again." She offered.

"You're crying." He breathed. Then she realized he wasn't stoking her cheeks, he was drying her tears.

She gasped as pain from her abdomen started to make itself known to her and he flinched.

"I'm fine. I think I just tried to sit up or something and my abs are not ready for that." She dismissed.

She also dismissed the heat which had started pooling downstairs.

"You should get some sleep." He tried again.

"All right fine. But I want a good night kiss." She compromised.

"You're impossible." He gave her a peck on the cheek. "Good night."

"And you say I'm impossible." She muttered.

The next day, a bouquet of stargazer lilies were in her hospital room.

_Here. Eponine said I should get you something. The flowers were Jehan's idea. I thought I should give you something practical, like a book or a CD, but as soon as Jehan heard about me going shopping he drove me to the florists and refused to let me get you anything but flowers. He wanted to get you roses, I made him compromise on lilies. He was not too happy about that by the way. I hope you like the flowers._

_Sincerely,_

_Enjolras_

She smiled as she read the note and saw she had a text message.

_Jehan: He should have gotten you roses._

* * *

**Aaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddddd I'm back bitches! Performed a successful speech, went on a field trip (yes they still have those in college) and saw a duplicate of C-3PO. Overall, good week. Now hopefully, I don't sound like I'm whining but the reviews have dried up. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad, I seriously would love feedback. Just to tell me how I'm doing. Now that I've acted like a five-year-old, until next time. Adieu mon chers.**


	16. Chapter 16

It was June when he told her.

She'd been improving well. She could move her arms, her legs, couldn't walk but she could move them, and could sit up on her own. She could even wear clothes now. She didn't realize how much she missed having a bra on until she put hers back on and her breasts didn't go everywhere when she moved. For six months straight of hard, agonizing work, it was progress she would repeat everything for. She missed walking, Hell she missed going to the bathroom on her own, but she knew she was doing better than expected. She had a hell of a thing to try and walk to. For once, she had a purpose in her life. It wasn't just about the relationship status with Enjolras. The university would let her enroll for the semester starting in September. She missed going to class, seeing people besides nurses and doctors, and learning. She would never admit it to anyone but she even missed going to Math. Javert could be an ass, but at least he was a good teacher. He cared about what he did. Her schedule would be the same, to help with the transition and her teachers were looking forward to see her coming back.

However, she still missed out on important things. Like Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac and Bahorel's graduation. It was hard not to think of them as juniors, but Eponine was able to include her by using her webcam on her computer. René could tell it wasn't an easy thing to do, the camera wobbled a lot, but she could still see and hear everything. The nurses were a little worried when she started screaming but it didn't take long to realize she wasn't in pain or being attacked. René was incredibly grateful for her friend's kindness so she asked Jean to go out and buy her something nice. Well, let's just say that his version of nice and René's version of nice were completely different. Eponine's face was priceless though.

She was all kinds of glad though when they announced they would get their master's degree all at university's graduate school program. Except Combeferre, but he would simply be going to it's sister school (as that was a medical school) and would still be an active participant in Les Amis. She wasn't sure whether she or Eponine was happier about that. In the end, she found she didn't care. She'd grown so attached to her friends that as long as they weren't going anywhere, she couldn't be upset.

* * *

"Grantaire? Can I talk to you?" Enjolras asked one day.

They'd been watching Code Lyoko together, or rather her watching the show and him indulging her. He liked watching her rather than the show. Her eyes would light up, and her emotions were displayed across her face in a very way she did not show often. He didn't see the appeal of the show but as long as it made Grantaire happy, he was fine with it.

"After the end." Grantaire agreed, eyebrows creased in worry. It seemed one of the characters was once again in mortal danger.

When the crisis was averted, Grantaire turned back to him. "What do you need?"

"I need to tell you something. It happened two Novembers ago. It was about three weeks before the protest." He started.

_That_ got her attention. She still remembered nothing of the month before the protest and no one had told her what had happened. They left that to Enjolras. He had a plan for how to inform her about what had happened, but when he looked into her eyes, yearning and confused, his mind went black for a moment.

"We… it… here. It starts with me and Courfeyrac getting into a small and uneventful car crash." He said.

"WHAT?" She cried.

"Relax, we weren't really hurt. Courfeyrac got the brunt of it and he only broke a few bones. I escaped with whiplash and a concussion. Once I was released from the hospital, we held an informal meeting to talk about Take Back the Night. You made a joke, I didn't take it as one, and… well it snowballed. I- I'm not proud of myself for this, but I called your brother a faggot to make my point. You then punched me in the face. And then screamed at me. I screamed back. You screamed louder and, well, we all agreed you went a little far but no further than I needed to see. I- I didn't see that at the time though." He took a breath, not daring to look at her. "I know I promised I would never do this but… I was angry and I didn't want you to be right so I… I slapped you. I told you to go and you didn't come back." Hearing Grantaire's gasp nearly stopped him but he continued. "We didn't speak for three weeks. We didn't smile for three weeks. I would… sometimes stare at you when I thought you weren't looking. You were, apparently. You didn't completely cut me out. And then you went to Take Back the Night. And when I picked you out of the crowd, you were staring at me. I told myself that it didn't matter what happened or what I had to say that I would earn your forgiveness that night. So I went looking for you and then I saw you with Montparnasse and I overheard you talking to him. You said that you loved me. He didn't believe you and he grabbed your wrists. He started kissing your neck and I… lost it. I punched him, the only reason I didn't punch him over and over was because you were hugging me so tightly that I knew I had to take care of you first. I really wanted to kill him but, since you were trembling in my arms, I told him to stay away from my girlfriend. I made sure you were all right and then you asked whether I meant calling you my girlfriend or if I had just said that to get him to go away. I was about to say yes when he hit you with the bottle. You were too focused on me to see it coming."

She didn't say anything once he finished. He turned to look at her and he saw tears in her eyes. Her hands were trembling and her nose was twitching.

"I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." He tried.

She gave no response. Suddenly, her heart monitor went wild, and he was shoved out of the room. He got a glance of Grantaire having a seizure but then one of the nurses, a blond girl whose tag read 'Euphrasie', pulled him away from her room.

"What happened?" She asked softly.

"I told her what happened during the time she can't remember." He answered listlessly.

"Was she eating lunch?" The nurse questioned.

He shook his head.

"Well then, it may not have been your fault. Seizures can be brought on by low blood sugar. With epilepsy, it's hard to tell." She tried consoling him but he doubted the truth of her statement. People, especially doctors and nurses wouldn't always tell you the whole truth to try and make you feel better. He didn't blame her. It was part of her job.

* * *

Even though it was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, he stopped going to Grantaire's hospital room. She didn't want to see him, especially after what he put her through. Seizures were painful and even he still hadn't forgiven himself for what he did to her. He didn't tell the others he wasn't going to see her, they would either force him to go or would yell at him for telling her what had happened too soon. (He doubted the latter would be done by anyone by Eponine but he wasn't taking the chance. He was still a little afraid of her.) He spent all of his time at the internship he had earned the year before. He still needed to go to graduate school to complete his master's degree and pass the bar so he knew logically spending time there would only further him. He hoped Grantaire would be proud of him, the way she was whenever she sent him to class. However, his avoidance wasn't as stealthy as he had wanted it to be. It took about a week for Eponine to catch on.

_Eponine: I'm going to ask this only once. You've stopped visiting her and she won't talk about you. What happened?_

**Me: I told her what happened. From the car crash to the protest.**

_Eponine: I take it she didn't take it well._

**Me: She seized.**

_Eponine: So that's why I couldn't visit her. Did you apologize?_

**Me: Yes, but I'm not sure she heard me.**

_Eponine: That would create a problem. I'll tell her you said sorry._

**Me: I'd rather you not. She might not believe you and I don't want you getting into trouble with her. I've disappointed her enough.**

_Eponine: Quit it with the whole 'I'm a terrible person' shtick. You didn't mean to hurt her and you apologized. My criteria are satisfied._

**Me: Hers isn't.**

_Eponine: What do you mean?_

**Me: She hasn't talked to me since.**

_Eponine: Oh. I wasn't expecting that. I would ask her but she's asleep._

**Me: I know.**

_Eponine: You do?_

**Me: Unless her schedule has changed dramatically, it's Sunday and she's been out of physical therapy for half an hour. She rarely ever stays awake that long. She'll probably get up in about an hour to watch the news... or she would watch the news with me.**

_Eponine: And I almost doubted you._

**Me: Doubted what?**

_Eponine: That you really loved her. I thought your love might be guilt or self-loathing, but I guess it's not. You really do love her._

**Me: Maybe you should tell her that.**

_Eponine: Naw, you're going to have to do that yourself. Same problem as before._

**Me: Gotcha. Excuse me, one of my coworkers is calling me. I gotta get this.**

"Hello, this is Enjolras." He answered.

"Hey, Enjy. This is Fauchelevent." The other boy answered.

"It's just Enjolras. What do you need?" Enjolras tried.

"Fine, be that way. A bunch of us are going to head over to the Rue Newton Abortion clinic. A protest against the clinic is going on and we have some signs against them. Wanna come?" Fauchelevent offered.

He considered this. It would be a good break, and something to do. Plus, he could never turn down a good protest. It wasn't in his blood.

"Where are we meeting?" Enjolras asked.

"Thattaboy. We're meeting at the office and gonna carpool. Plus, you can make some signs if you get there before we all do." Fauchelevent said and Enjolras hung up.

He drove over to the law firm and saw his coworkers gathered around. He squeezed himself in, enjoying himself a little for the first time in a week, and listened.

"Okay, so if we stand here, we're a completely legal protest against the protest. I know other people are going to do what we're doing so it shouldn't be too hard to find. So we all agree to meet there?" Fauchelevent coordinated.

As the plan was set, Enjolras got a glimpse of the signs his coworkers had.

_If it's MY body I'm dealing with, why is it YOUR business?_

_Abortion is a personal decision, not a legal debate._

_Life begins when you stand up to Christian Fascists._

_Keep your laws off my body._

_If I wanted your government in my womb, I would've fucked a senator._

He thought a couple were a bit much, but they certainly got their point across. Once all the interns and low-level paralegals had collected, they drove over to Rue Newton. However, a riot was brewing the minute they stepped out of their cars. Enjolras had been to enough protests to know when one was about to fall apart. The cops were already there and keeping people back on both sides.

"Leave the law alone! Leave the law alone!" The pro-choice side screamed.

"Stop the murder! Stop abortions!" The pro-life side chanted.

"Abortion is a legal right. If you don't want an abortion, don't get one. But don't force your beliefs onto others. Don't make her choice for her!" Fauchelevent shouted.

For once, it wasn't Enjolras who induced the riot. One of the pro-life protesters got ahold of one of the police batons and threw it at Fauchelevent. He ducked but it hit one of the other protesters. It was almost like an explosion. The cops couldn't keep back either side. People were throwing punches, using their signs as weapons and the cops couldn't keep up with the amount of people they needed to contain, often having to reduce to violence themselves to try and break up the fights. He didn't think the police were brutalizing the people this time as the fights turned very vicious. Abandoning his sign, given to him by Fauchelevent, he tried to break up some of the fights.

"Please, everyone! Let's be reasonable. Fighting physically won't get us anywhere! Whether you're life or choice!" He screamed.

For the first time, when he shouted, no one listened. Everyone was preoccupied. Some were running away, others were fighting to the death and only a few were yelling for reason like Enjolras was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the cop who had lost his baton be forced to use the butt of his pistol to try and deflect a blow coming in from one of Enjolras's coworkers, Gillenormand, who didn't see him as he was wrapped up in a fight with a pro-life protester. Enjolras forward to break it up, but a loud sound filled his ears.

Time slowed down. The ground then became closer than it had been. People were all around him, talking- no shrieking at him, strangely to stay awake. They were so loud. His ears still hurt from the original sound. He wanted to tell them that he was fine, he wasn't tired, or at least to shut it, his ears hurt, but for some reason he couldn't talk. He couldn't even breathe. Everyone around him was panicking but a wave of lethargy quieted any thought of joining them in their franticness. He felt his head drop down to his chest and he couldn't hold his eyes open any longer. An unusual darkness called to him. He would be able to breathe. People wouldn't be screeching at him anymore. He wanted to sink into the darkness but something stopped him.

_Don't give up. Don't go into the darkness. Apollo must keep the sun shining. You don't mix with the dark. Stay away from it._

He could have sworn Grantaire was there, talking to him. He knew she was still in the hospital, but her voice was so clear that she had to be there. He could see her in his mind's eye, her black curls under that green beanie, jeans, boots, a white blouse, and his black ribbon tied around her neck like a Victorian choker. She wasn't smiling necessarily but her blue eyes were lit with emotion. She stood with a power he hadn't seen in years, and missed dearly.

"Grantaire?" He managed to croak out. The effort alone caused the darkness to creep back into his system.

_Keep away from the darkness. Fight._

What am I fighting?

_I shouldn't tell you._

Do you forgive me?

_Fight the darkness and I'll think about it._

So he pushed the darkness back. He couldn't open his eyes but he felt people moving him. He was lying down now. He wanted to go into the darkness but Grantaire's words wouldn't let him. A prick came from his arm and very quickly darkness threatened to overwhelm him again.

_It's all right. This is the good darkness. Like the night, with the moon and stars above you. There is some light. You don't have to keep fighting this fight anymore._

Am I fighting something else?

_Yes. I shouldn't tell you. You need to relax. Save your energy for another fight. You're going to need it._

What am I fighting?

_I really shouldn't tell you. I wish I could, but I could hurt you. As much as I want to tell you, I could never hurt you._

You already have. Why won't you talk to me?

_Do not speak to me about this now. Now do as your told, Julien Enjolras, and go to sleep!_

He found he couldn't resist her command.

* * *

**Hey everyone! I know it's been like two days since I updated, but I couldn't keep my fingers off of the keyboard. I actually meant to go shopping and do stuff today but _that_ didn't happen. As for the abortion signs, I found those on the Internet. I searched and chose my personal favorites.**

**Now, let me say this. As for the Christian Fascists sign, if I offend anyone I'm sorry. These are not my words. Yes, I chose to put them in my story but I do not believe all Christians are fascists. I meant to inspire a feeling of how strongly Enjolras's coworkers felt towards abortion. Now, I've been getting some comments about how not all Christians are homophobic and cruel. Now, my parents accept me, and they're Christian and I'm bisexual with a tendency to lean towards homosexual behavior. There are plenty of parents who accept their kids, regardless of their faith or sexuality, and I want to draw a little attention to that. Even though, I myself am against organized religion, there are plenty of people who believe God loves all his children, or any variation thereof. As for abortion, I don't know if it's moral or ethical. I haven't been in a situation whether me or a friend/loved one has needed one or wanted one.**

**Leave a review if you can. Until next time. Adieu, mon chers.**


	17. Chapter 17

When René woke up, Eponine was waiting with a wheelchair.

"I already went to therapy today, mother." She complained.

"You're not quoting anything, and that's not what this is for. I'm taking you outside. Doctor Madeleine said I could as long as you didn't exert yourself too much and I only keep you out for an hour at most." Eponine smiled.

"You are now my favorite person in the world. I love you." René murmured as she crawled over to the edge of the bed.

Eponine helped her into some clothes. Jeans, a plaid shirt, and no shoes. Her feet were still really tender and couldn't wear shoes just yet as they couldn't support any weight. She used Enjolras's black ribbon to tie her hair back and Eponine put her into the chair. She took her though the emergency entrance, as it was the only place without smokers. René breathed deeply, inhaling the long missed scent of asphalt, car exhaust and dirt.

"Thank you, Ep. I needed this." She gave her best friend a hug so strong it hurt.

"All right, so I've heard Enjolras's side of the story. What's yours?" Eponine asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied.

"Last week, you're gushing about how he sent you flowers though it was forced. This week, you don't even mention his name. Tell me." Eponine ordered.

"It's complicated, Ep." She groaned, resting her head on her hand.

"Un-complicate it. I mean, what's a little physical violence between friends?" Eponine joked.

"It wasn't because he slapped me. That's not the problem." René stated.

"Then what was it?" Eponine came around to her friend's front.

René sighed. "He sent me away, Ep. He told me to go and he must've meant it because I stayed away. He didn't talk to me until that night. The worst part is even after he told me all this I still can't remember it. It's just gone. Like it never happened. And I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to live my life with this and he just kind of added to the pile of shit I have to deal with and I keep trying not to think about it but I can't get him out of my head and what he said and it was heavy. I don't know what I'm supposed to say so I haven't said anything and I feel like I should talk to him but I can't even comprehend me actually staying away from him. It's complicated."

Eponine didn't answer her immediately. René sighed and looked at the scenery around her.

"I think you're overcomplicating talking to him. He really wants to talk to you and he misses you dearly. I think he's really in love with you." Eponine said.

"I have your blessing then?" René teased.

"Yes." Eponine answered seriously.

René thought for a moment. "My phone is back in my room. I'm not leaving until my hour is up but when we get back, I'll call him. I promise."

"Great. It was hard enough watching the two of you go through that the first time. You two can fight politically and be like a powerful storm, majestic and strong. It's fantastic to watch. Watching you guys fight emotionally, really, really, sucks ass." Eponine said.

"You always did have a way with words, Ep." René remarked dryly.

"I'm no Apollo." Eponine smirked.

René whacked her. "Only I can call him that."

Eponine laughed.

Suddenly, an ambulance careened up to the entrance.

"Oh no. Let's get out of here. We need to not be in their way." René said, starting to roll herself away before Eponine started to push her.

She caught a glance of who was on the gurney. Her blood ran cold. Short, blonde hair, pale skin, and closed passionate blue eyes.

Enjolras.

"What happened to him?" She shrieked.

"He was shot at the protest on Rue Newton. Some idiot knocked into a cop with his gun out and the gun went off. Shoulder wound, can't tell if it nicked an artery but it's bleeding pretty bad." One of the paramedics relayed. He was talking to the doctors but she didn't care.

"Enjolras!" René shouted as they wheeled him away.

René bolted after him, coming up alongside the medics. She helped push the gurney, trying her hardest to get Enjolras to medical help.

"You family?" The same paramedic, his badge read Leblanc, asked.

"Girlfriend." René answered immediately.

"How'd you get here so fast?" Leblanc asked.

"I'm being treated here actually. Is he going to be okay?" She asked.

"Just fine, sweetheart." Leblanc assured her absently.

She pressed her lips together and saw Enjolras open his eyes blearily. His fiery blue eyes were dull and glazed with pain and confusion. The world around her disappeared, he was the only thing she could see.

"Now you listen to me, Julien Enjolras. You have a reason to live, so you'd better. I am not losing you to some hyped up protest that you couldn't keep your stupid ass out of! You fight for your damn life because I can't go on without you! I think we both have been idiots and I'd like to fix that but I need you with me to do it. Our friends need you. Goddamn it, Enjolras, I need you! So don't you give up! Don't you let go!" René hissed.

At first, she thought she thought she had spoken to nothing. He made no move to prove he heard her. She stared into his unresponsive glazed eyes.

_This is what he must've felt when I was in a coma, _she thought.

He nodded.

For the first time in a very, very long time, hope filled her heart. She wasn't quite sure exactly what it was at first, hope had been gone so long.

"Kid, you need to let go of the gurney." Leblanc said, though he was glancing from Enjolras to René in shock.

She did and watched as they wheeled Enjolras into surgery.

"René!" Eponine's frantic voice caught her attention finally. She turned to face her friend.

"He'll be okay. He'd better be." Her voice broke a little before she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"René, you were running on your own. You were pushing things. You're standing. Without any help." Eponine whispered, almost reverently.

She looked down and saw, Hell, she was.

"Oh."

And she collapsed.

When she woke up, she was back on her hospital bed. Fatigue pulled at her consciousness, telling it to go back under but when her memory came back, she forced her eyes open. Euphrasie was glaring at her.

"You shouldn't have been standing, let alone running. Your body was not ready for that. You're lucky you just passed out." She scolded.

René knew to blush and look sheepish. "I wasn't really thinking about it."

"I understand. I probably would've done that myself if it were my boyfriend." Euphrasie sympathized. "Doesn't mean you're allowed to leave again for a while. You need to rest."

"Gotcha. You know, I never asked, but do you have a boyfriend? I always thought it was too personal." René asked.

"Good distraction. Yes I do. A fiancé. His name is Georges Pontmercy. He's adorable. I love him a lot." Euphrasie sighed.

"Pontmercy. Is he by any chance related to Marius Pontmercy?" René questioned, biting her tongue a little.

"No. He has a sister, though." Euphrasie tried.

"Well then I guess it's just a more common name than I thought. Oh well. Never mind." René dismissed. "So how's Enjolras?"

"You only passed out for a couple minutes, honey. There's no change." Euphrasie sighed.

"You'll tell me when there is, right?" René pleaded.

"Of course. However, I can't guarantee that it will be good changes." Euphrasie promised.

"I understand." René agreed. "Where's Eponine?"

Knowing her most frequent visitors by name, Euphrasie answered, "Calling people. About your boy."

René nodded somberly.

"From what I heard, he's going to be okay." Euphrasie tried.

René nodded again.

"Look, you really should rest." Euphrasie reminded.

René nodded for a third time.

"Can you give me a reaction that's not nodding?" Euphrasie deadpanned.

René nodded.

That earned a snort. Eponine came in and glared at René.

"I already got the lecture." René said.

Eponine looked to Euphrasie.

"She did. I'm going to go on my rounds. Make sure she stays in that bed." Euphrasie ordered.

Eponine nodded.

"I'm right here." René gestured.

"And I don't care." Euphrasie said and left.

"You're worried." Eponine commented.

"And you're not?" René asked.

"Of course I am. The only thing I don't get is why he was there. I read about it online and Combeferre said they didn't go because the pro-life group who went there was known to be violent." Eponine sighed.

"Did anyone think to tell Enjolras?" René remarked.

"I don't know. Everyone's going to meet here. Can you handle that?" Eponine informed.

"If I can't, I'll just sleep through it." René shrugged.

"Be honest. How bad is it?" Eponine cut.

"An eight. But only in my feet. The rest of me is about a five, but that's been normal for a while now. My physical therapist says the pain will go away as I use my muscles more. However, she is going to be pissed when she finds out that I've been running around without help." She stated.

"I think she'll understand the circumstances." Eponine held René's hand and squeezed.

Bahorel came through the door then ,surprising them both.

"I was closest. Are you okay?" He asked René.

"I'm fine." She soothed.

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

"I'm tired and my feet hurt but I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle." She promised.

"Why didn't you just stay in your chair?" Bahorel groaned.

"I already got the lecture!" René shouted. "Ep, since you told everybody everything, why don't you send out a mass text or something that I already got the lecture and I understood it."

Eponine just smirked.

"Bitch." René muttered.

"Aw, you don't mean that." Eponine pouted.

"Yes, I do." René quipped.

"No, you don't." Eponine countered.

"Yes, I do." René repeated.

"No, you don't." Eponine shot.

"Yes, I do." René shot.

"Yes, you do." Eponine tried.

"No, I don't." René said.

"Yes, you do!" Eponine held back a smirk.

"No I don't! Goddamn it!" René sulked.

Eponine and Bahorel laughed as Joly, Bousset, and Musichetta came in.

"Are you okay, honey?" Musichetta asked.

"You're like the tenth person to ask me that. I'm fine, my feet hurt a little bit but I'm okay." René repeated.

"Stop exaggerating. It's only been two people." Eponine glared.

"Feels like ten." René murmured.

"You're impossible." Eponine shot back.

"Who's impossible?" Courfeyrac asked as he and Jehan came in.

Upon seeing her, they both attacked René with hugs.

"Are you okay?" They asked.

"My feet hurt a little but I'm fine. Really boys." She swore.

Suddenly, very cold gel was spreading across her feet. She jumped, bringing her feet to her chest and shouted, "That's cold."

"Give me your feet back." Joly protested.

"What do you want my feet for?" She looked at him like he was crazy.

"You keep saying your feet hurt. I can fix that." Joly shrugged.

"Were you- were you disinfecting my feet?" She said, slowly extending them. Moving them hurt more than she was willing to admit.

"Yes. You keep saying your feet hurt. I can help." Joly answered.

He kept rubbing the disinfectant on her feet until he was satisfied. Then he put on rubber gloves, unsurprisingly. She adored Joly, even with his hypochondriac ways. He put his hands on her feet and-…

* * *

Eponine wasn't sure which René felt more: pain or pleasure. Her face was a mixture of both as Joly was massaging her foot. She knew René was lying about how much pain she was in, it was a really annoying bad habit which Eponine wished she could have just smacked out of her.

"She looks like she's half in pain, half in pleasure and half wanting to giggle." Eponine murmured.

"That's three halves." Courfeyrac reminded.

"Hush, you." She shot.

They didn't speak for a couple of hours. During that time, René fell asleep, Bahorel went to go get food for everyone, Joly disinfected the entire set of chairs they had in Rene's room, Bousset didn't move and still ended up knocking over a vase, Musichetta laughed, Courfeyrac and Jehan started snuggling and Eponine waited for the others to show up.

Feuilly came in at the three hour mark, looking haggard and disheveled.

"I was asleep when you texted. I got here as fast as I could." He explained.

"There's not much to do. We can only wait until the doctors tell us anything." Eponine whispered.

"Why are we whispering?" Feuilly asked.

Eponine pointed to their resident sleeping beauty.

Feuilly nodded and accepted some of one of Bahorel's many cheeseburgers. It was a little cold now but Feuilly didn't seem to mind.

"One, two, three, four… where's Combeferre?" Feuilly noticed.

"He went home for the weekend. He should be back any minute now. I will call him then. No point in worrying him sooner than we have to." Eponine said.

"Wait, wouldn't the hospital have called him?" Joly asked.

"The secretary asked if I wanted to call everyone since René and I were already here. It seemed easier and I knew the best way to contact everyone." Eponine explained.

The others nodded and lapsed back into silence. Worry filled their hearts, only getting worse as time went on. Eponine called when Combeferre texted her, saying he was home.

"Hey, babe." Combeferre answered.

"Honey, you need to get to the hospital." She said.

"I'm leaving now. Is something wrong with Grantaire?" He asked.

"No. She's asleep. You remember the protest on Rue Newton?" She replied.

"Don't tell me he went." He groaned.

"And somehow got shot in the shoulder. They haven't told us anything but the paramedics were hopeful." She responded.

"I'm torn between wanting to never let him go and wanting to kill him myself." He growled.

"We all are." She murmured.

"All right. I'm in my car. I'll text you when I arrive. I- be safe." He said before hanging up.

She wondered if 'be safe' meant I love you. In a way, she hoped it did.

When he showed up, everyone asked him how his weekend was, but their hearts weren't in it. His heart wasn't in his answers and she just squeezed his hand. He didn't squeeze back.

Within the silence, everyone could hear Rene's mumbling loud and clear. She wasn't forming words but it was clear whatever it was she wasn't enjoying it.

"I didn't know Grantaire talked in her sleep." Combeferre murmured.

"She doesn't." Eponine stated.

Her friend started tossing and turning a little, her words dying on her lips.

"Nightmare, maybe?" Courfeyrac suggested.

"René? René, honey, wake up." Eponine shook her a little and her eyes flew open.

"Sweetie?" Eponine whispered.

"I'm- I'm okay. Just… bad dream." René gasped, catching her breath.

"Wanna talk?" Courfeyrac offered.

"I'd rather not. You're worried enough as it is." René sighed.

Enjolras. Her dream was about Enjolras. Eponine hugged her friend, who didn't return it. Sadly, pulling away, Eponine knew what could help René. Hearing that Enjolras was all right.

Euphrasie popped her head in.

"Which one is the medical student emergency contact?" She searched before Combeferre slowly raised his hand.

"C'mere." She pulled him out of the room.

He came back about five minutes later.

"Enjolras is out of surgery."

* * *

**Ta da! Another cliffhanger. Remember, I did say that Grantaire had more hospital woes coming, though I didn't say WHO was going to be in the hospital. I don't have homework this weekend so I can spend more time on my computer. Hopefully, I did this chapter justice. If it sounds a little rushed at parts, that may have been when I kept telling myself to go to the store because I was almost out of food and I was in serious need of going to the store. Luckily, I managed to run to the store and stock up for the week quickly so I could keep writing. Review if you can. Feedback of any kind is appreciated.**


	18. Chapter 18

"_Enjolras is out of surgery."_

"And?" Eponine prompted.

"The wound was infected, the people who were helping him were covered in blood and some of that got into his system. But with antibiotics and rest, he's going to fine. Really sore but fine. He'll get out of here before you do Grantaire. He'll need lots of physical therapy and rest, if I can convince him to stay still, but all he's going to have is a scar." Combeferre relayed.

They all breathed a sigh of relief. But worry still edged at René's consciousness. She trusted Combeferre and he knew what he was talking about but she still wanted- _needed_ to see Enjolras, to see him with her own eyes, to make sure he was okay.

"How is he?" Joly asked.

"He's on some pretty strong pain medication and I'm not sure he can tell revolution from Revelations but he's all right." Combeferre answered.

"When can we see him?" René requested.

"Once he's settled, I've asked Euphrasie to bring you a wheelchair." Combeferre responded.

She could've kissed him.

She must've showed it because Eponine laughed, "Careful, he's _my_ boyfriend."

That earned a laugh from everyone. René blushed but was saved by Euphrasie. René swung her legs over the side and jumped into the chair with skilled accuracy.

"I hate it when you do that. Why can't you just accept help like a normal person?" Euphrasie groaned, pushing her towards Enjolras's room.

"It's not about accepting help. It's about fun. And I like jumping into my chairs." René chirped.

"That's because you can be a bit of idiot." Euphrasie smirked.

"I'm not stooping to that level." René said.

"Sure you aren't." Euphrasie baited.

"I'm not!" René whined.

"And you just did." Euphrasie chuckled.

"I hate you, you know that?" René growled.

"So you've said." Euphrasie said dryly.

"Yeah, well this time I mean it." René said defensively.

"Of course." Euphrasie deadpanned.

"Stupid sarcasm." René muttered.

"You know you admire me for it." Euphrasie grinned.

"I know I feel something and I don't think its admiration." René teased.

Euphrasie wheeled her into the ICU room designated to Enjolras. He looked pale, sweaty, and had a very strange dopey expression on his face. His right side was wrapped in bandages and his arm was immovable. But at least he was alive. His blue eyes were open and wide.

"He won't be awake for very long." Euphrasie warned.

"I don't need him to be." René pulled herself up to Enjolras's bedside, panted for a minute and then looked at him.

"Hi." He smiled at her stupidly, which was something she never thought he could do.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" She asked, not really knowing what to say.

"Warm and fuzzy." His smile spread across his face.

"Okay, honey." She smiled at him.

With his good hand, he reached for her hair, missed and smacked her in the face. He kept trying to get to the top of her head and kept missing, always hitting her in the face. It took many times but eventually Enjolras got to the top of her head and started to pet her hair. She cocked at eyebrow at him but he just sniggered.

"Okay, sweetie, why don't I leave you to rest?" She said and her hands went to the wheels.

Suddenly, his hand tightened on her hair pulling it almost.

"Don't go. Stay. Play something." He slurred.

"Play something? Like a game?" She tried.

"No. Song. Play a song." He pulled her hair and she bit down a yelp.

"Let me go and I'll go get my guitar." She offered.

His fingers slowly exited her hair.

"I'll be back." She promised and wheeled out.

Euphrasie raised an eyebrow. "Already?"

"No. Can you bring me back to my room?" René requested.

Her answer was movement towards her room. Only Combeferre, Eponine, Courfeyrac and Jehan remained. After some questioning, it seemed the others had gone home, or in Feuilly's case, to work. They would return when Enjolras could support more than one visitor.

"Is everything all right? You came back quickly." Combeferre questioned.

"He wants me to play for him. He's very strange on drugs. Ep, can you run home and get my guitar?" René answered.

Eponine shrugged, gave Combeferre a kiss on the cheek and headed out.

"Even with her driving, I hope he's still awake when she gets back." René muttered.

"With her driving, I won't be surprised." Combeferre muttered. "I don't see why you let her drive you around all the time."

"I can't drive." René shrugged.

"At all?" Courfeyrac asked.

"No. I tried a couple times when I was sixteen. If Jean hadn't been in the car with me, I would've died both times. I was scared, the other drivers were being assholes, and I had no idea what I was doing. I seized both times. So I don't drive. I still don't know how. I mean, I know the theory but I can't apply it." René explained.

"That sucks." Courfeyrac commented.

René just shrugged again. "I'm used to it. It's why Ep drives me around all the time."

"No offense, but I just thought you were lazy." Courfeyrac blushed.

"Vivien Courfeyrac! If I were lazy, would I complain about her driving speed all the time?" René asked.

"Yes." He smiled.

"I wonder about you sometimes." René frowned.

"I'm back." Eponine announced, handing the guitar to its owner.

"Even _you_ don't drive that fast." René gave her friend a skeptical look.

"I've been keeping it in the car since you got your arms back. I wanted you to have it in case you wanted to play." Eponine defended.

René started pushing herself out of the room and all four jumped to help her.

"I can push myself two hallways and a corner. Get the hell back." René snapped.

"We just want to help. Make sure you don't tire yourself out." Combeferre said soothingly.

And since no one could be mad at Combeferre, she relented. She swore there was something about that boy that just made everyone love him. She needed to figure out how to bottle what he had. She'd be unstoppable then.

Planning evil thoughts of world domination all the way to Enjolras's room, it was discovered he was still awake.

His loud shout of, "Grantaire!" gave it away.

"You wanna shout or you want me to sing?" She asked, tuning her guitar.

"Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing!" If Enjolras could bounce like a child, he probably would have been. She disregarded his strange behavior for the drugs. After all, she'd never seen him like that, ever.

"Right from the start  
You were a thief  
You stole my heart  
And I your willing victim  
I let you see the parts of me  
That weren't all that pretty  
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh  
Things you never say to me, oh, oh  
Tell me that you've had enough  
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
We're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand  
Where all of this is coming from  
I thought that we were fine  
Oh, we had everything  
Your head is running wild again  
My dear we still have everythin'  
And it's all in your mind  
Yeah, but this is happenin'

You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh  
You still lie so close to me, oh, oh  
There's nothing more than empty sheets  
Between our love, our love  
Oh, our love, our love

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
I never stopped  
You're still written in the scars on my heart  
You're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

Oh, tear ducts and rust  
I'll fix it for us  
We're collecting dust  
But our love's enough  
You're holding it in  
You're pouring a drink  
No nothing is as bad as it seems  
We'll come clean

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
That we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
That we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again  
Oh, we can learn to love again  
Oh, oh, that we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again."

She took a breath, enjoying the end of the note, relearning the strings had been easier than she had thought. Like riding a bike it never truly leaves you. She looked up and saw Enjolras was smiling at her through half-closed eyes.

"You should get some rest. You've had a long day." She whispered.

"But if I sleep, you go away. And I don't want you to go away." He garbled.

"You want me to sing again?" She offered.

"Yeah. Love your voice. Makes me think of a river flowing. Ocean waves. Angels singing." He rambled.

"All right. Flattery will get you everywhere, Enjolras." She chuckled lightly.

"Okay, Grantaire." He mumbled.

She strummed a few notes.

"Don't you think it's weird that I love you and all I ever call you by is your last name?" He asked.

"No. I think it would be weirder if you called me René. You've never called me René." She answered seriously.

"Not true. I did once. When you got hit by that beer bottle or whatever it was. You wouldn't wake up and I called you René. Didn't wake up then either." He sighed.

"I'm awake now. That's what matters." She promised.

"When you were a tadpole and I was a fish  
When the whole world had barely begun"

"As far back as that?"

"I saw you swim by with a smile in your eye  
And I loved you from that moment on."

"That's a lovely thought."

"And through all the changes from fins into fingers  
I longed for the day you would be  
The sweet loving person you've finally become  
From that faraway day in the sea  
And my first wish"

"What's that?"

"That you'd love me too, 'cause I've loved you  
Since you were a tadpole and I was a fish  
I'm so glad that you love me too, 'cause I've loved you  
Since you were a tadpole and I was- guess what- a fish."

She knew he was asleep when he didn't answer her question. She was glad. He didn't see her cry. That was the first song her father had taught her on the guitar. She hadn't played it in years. She had planned on never playing it again but Enjolras seemed to throw a wrench in each of her plans. She wiped furiously at her eyes, hoping no one notice.

"How on Earth did I fall for someone like you?" She murmured to someone who she knew couldn't hear her. In a way, she was glad he couldn't answer her. She doubted he would be able to answer her.

* * *

The boy who just walked in must've been a nightmare. It couldn't be real. She knew it couldn't be real. She'd taken some pain medication last night (read: Euphrasie forced some down her throat), strumming the guitar hurt her fingers as they got used to the strings again and this must be some demented monster nightmare her subconscious dreamed up.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed.

"It's been one a half years since I was arrested. Overcrowding helped me get out on parole. I wasn't a difficult prisoner." Montparnasse shrugged.

"Why are you here?" She growled, trying not to cry out of anger and a fear she wished she could quell.

"I wanted to apologize." He tried.

"Apologize? APOLOGIZE?! YOU STOLE FOURTEEN MONTHS OF MY LIFE! YOU TRIED TO RAPE ME! AND THEN THERE'S THE PHYSICAL THERAPY HELL YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH! AND YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She had hoped someone would hear but life it seemed was going to screw with her today.

Montparnasse wasn't that phased. "Yes. I was drunk."

"That's not an excuse for what you did. The courts may have taken pity on you but I won't. You've almost ruined my life." She growled.

"I'm sorry." He pressed. "And I didn't ruin it. I just… delayed it."

"Delayed it? I couldn't move when I woke up. Movement hurt in a way you've never known. The only reason I'm moving now is six months of horribly intense physical therapy. I still can't even stand on my own. I have to wheel myself around because my feet aren't strong enough to hold me up yet. And you've only _delayed_ my life." She spat.

"Look I made a mistake I know. Doesn't mean I meant it." He shrugged.

"People rarely do things when they're drunk that they don't mean." She said coldly.

He didn't respond to that. Then a thought occurred to her.

"Why wasn't I asked to be at your parole hearing to say that I want to see you locked up for as long as possible?" She asked.

"My father asked the hearing to be kept private." He admitted.

"That's illegal." She voiced.

"With the right amount of money, it's not." He told her.

"Get out of my room. Stay out and stay out of my life." She snarled.

"Fine. Why don't you take your little pity party and shove it up your ass?" He gave her a false smile, flipped her off and stalked out.

"Honey, are you all right?" Euphrasie asked, coming in. "The other nurses said they heard raised voices. I came as quick as I could."

"The boy who just walked out. Did you see him?" René said tiredly.

"Yes." Euphrasie answered.

"Don't ever let him back here again. Please." René begged. "He's the one who put me in here. He attacked me last November- no two Novembers ago."

"What's his name?" Euphrasie demanded.

"Montparnasse. I don't know his first name." René replied.

"I'll make sure he never comes in here again. If he tries, Security will escort him out. Onto his ass." Euphrasie emphasized, eliciting a small snicker.

"You don't look well." Euphrasie put her hand on René's forehead.

"I don't feel well. I think it's more emotional than physical though." René sank into her pillows and just wanted to disappear until she forgot what happened.

"Forgetting about it doesn't mean you're dealing with it." Euphrasie murmured.

René looked at Euphrasie pleadingly.

"You know I'm right." Euphrasie groaned.

"Yeah, I know." René matched.

"Code Lyoko is about to come on. Want me to take you to your boyfriend's room?" Euphrasie offered.

"Nah. However, if you can help me find the remote I will be much obliged. It kind of disappeared yesterday when everyone was here." René bit her lip.

"How did the remote disappear?" Euphrasie asked.

"Um, Bousset moved it and now it's gone. He's the unlucky one who broke the vase by simply sitting there and putting his arm on the table. The minute he touched it, it just vanished." René shrugged.

Euphrasie crawled around on the floor and a couple minutes later an "Ah-ha!" sounded.

* * *

**Ta-da! I'm sorry for the late update. I have midterms this week and haven't had much time to write. But hopefully this came out all right. As for the 'When You Were A Tadpole' scene, if you want to hear how the song goes check out the youtube video watch?v=GGHIsS4B5mY . It's where I got the idea for it. So leave me a review if you love it or hate it, or simply want to ask me a question. Feedback is more than appreciated. You guys always make my day when you leave me reviews.**


	19. Chapter 19

René didn't sleep much that night. She kept tossing and turning but she couldn't find a comfortable position. Worst of all, she had this deep ache in the middle of her back. Every time she would find a somewhat comfortable position, pain would shoot across her back. Euphrasie had put the wheelchair away where she couldn't reach it so she couldn't ask for pain medication. Her mind was worse. Closing her eyes somehow made her wrists hurt, and her neck tingle but not in a way she liked. It felt wrong, almost violating. She finally fell asleep around four, horribly knowing that her physical therapy was scheduled at nine but she'd asked Euphrasie to wake her up at seven thirty so she could visit Enjolras.

"Grantaire? Are you listening?" Enjolras's voice woke her for the third time.

She snapped her head down to look at him. He was flushed and sweaty, his fever at 39 degrees (102.2), and couldn't move the left side of his torso but he was awake and coherent. To René, that was all that mattered.

"I'm listening, please continue." She smiled at him.

He cocked an eyebrow. "I asked you a question."

"Um, no." She answered, blushing slightly.

"Wasn't a yes or no question. I also asked it about five minutes ago. Only reason I woke you was because you would've gotten a bad crick in your neck if I'd let you sleep. How late did you stay up?" He asked.

"Um, I think I fell asleep about four. That's when I last looked at the clock. Might've been later than that." She shrugged.

"What kept you up? Were you texting?" He tilted his head to the left, the only way he could tilt it.

"No. Just couldn't get to sleep. Thinking. Sort of." She mumbled the last bit, not wanting to admit what kept her awake. Her neck still felt… odd.

"What's on your mind?" He pressed.

"If I tell you, you'll get upset." She dismissed.

"If you don't tell me, I'll get upset." He countered.

"I'm screwed." She gestured wildly.

"Tell me." He ordered and she made the mistake of looking him in the eyes.

Worry shined in them and her heart faltered for a second. She weighed the pros and cons of telling him, keeping silent but using multiple hand gestures and a battle raged in her mind.

_Tell him. He should know._

_It'll upset him. He can barely turn his neck to the left. I don't want to hurt him._

_Keeping this from him will hurt him._

_He's still recovering from getting fricking shot. I don't want him to get riled and hurt himself._

_He has self-control. Do you trust him?_

_You're me. This is all inside of my head. What do you think?_

_Then tell him. You love him._

_You don't know that!_

_Are you seriously saying that?_

_Yes! No. Maybe?_

_This is why people think you're an idiot._

_I hate you sometimes._

_Emotional conflict is normal. Human._

_And yet here I am speaking to a god. Who's actually asking me what's on my mind. Speaking of Apollo, he's still waiting for an answer._

_That's why people think you're an idiot._

"It was just a feeling, really. My wrists would hurt but I didn't do anything to them and my neck felt… strange. And that's not even a good word to describe it. There just are no words to describe it." She half-truthed.

_Violating. Sickening. Disgusting._

_Shut up._

"Oh?" The look of worry still resided in his eyes.

"Okay so what are you hiding from me?" She groaned.

"Nothing. It's just Montparnasse assaulted your wrists and neck when he attacked you. I told you this." He furrowed his brow.

"Oh. About that. After you said you, um, we didn't speak for three weeks I wasn't really paying attention. I got the gist of it and stuff but I fought off a seizure as long as I could. Not everything you said stuck. Sorry." She blushed.

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault." He said immediately.

"I know. I still apologize though." She stated.

"Habit?" He guessed.

She tapped her nose.

"So why did you flinch at Montparnasse's name?" He casually asked and she cursed inwardly.

"I thought I didn't." She swore.

"You did. Twice now. Why?" He insisted.

"How did an oblivious boy as yourself get as perceptive as this?" She deflected.

"I pay very close attention to things I care about. Why?" He pressed.

"You have to promise not to freak out. Or move and accidentally hurt yourself." She conceded.

"I promise not to freak out." He promised.

She glared at him.

"Or move and accidentally hurt myself. Satisfied?" He finished.

"As much as I can be." She shifted nervously.

"You haven't said anything." He prompted.

"I was getting to it. Don't be so impatient." He glared at her. "Montparnasse came to visit yesterday. It didn't end well. It didn't start well either."

"What? He's out of prison? How? You should've been told about that." He asked.

"Can we please just forget about it?" She pleaded.

"It was something illegal, wasn't it?" He accused softly.

"So that's a no to the forgetting it?" She tried.

"So there's my answer. I don't care what it takes. I'm not resting until that boy will never hurt you again." He swore.

"Oh yes you are. All I have to do is ask and Jean can get a restraining order on him for me. You do not need to put your health at risk." She said.

"I was exaggerating. I doubt I can do anything but rest here." He deadpanned.

"If you weren't hurt, I would've smacked you." She growled.

"Thank Heaven for small mercies." He grinned.

She smacked his leg. He gave a small wince.

"Serves you right." She muttered.

"I got shot and you whack me. What a wonderful girlfriend you turned out to be." He murmured.

She turned her wheelchair away from him.

"Is this the part where I say something romantic and you come back to me because of the cheesiness?" He deadpanned.

"Yes. I think so." She said.

"I don't know anything romantic." He protested.

She turned back to him. "Make something up."

"Why? You've already turned back to me." He stated.

"What a wonderful boyfriend you turned out to be." She snorted.

Suddenly they were both grinning stupidly at each other.

"What are we doing?" He asked, chuckling.

"I think this is what couples do. Jehan and I did this sometimes." She shrugged.

"Don't talk about him." Enjolras dismissed.

"Why? We're cool and he's no threat." She tilted her head in confusion.

"Because I don't want to hear about what you two did. If we're going to have a relationship, I want it to be entirely our own." He explained.

"You were jealous, weren't you?" She accused.

"Of course not." He snorted.

"You were! You were jealous of him because he was dating me!" She smiled smugly.

"No I wasn't. I just… didn't like it." He tried.

"Jealous." She cackled madly.

"I will never concede to such a thing." He said and she just cackled louder.

"So… are we dating now?" Enjolras asked tentatively.

"Um, I don't know. I still can't walk and I'd really like to finish that before we start something. I don't want to rush into it like Jehan and I did. That's what ruined it a little bit." René sighed.

He smiled tentatively. "I think going slow is a good idea."

She sighed again, feeling stupid.

"You've got that look. That look of you think you're an idiot." He cut to the point.

"And how do you know that look?" She knew he noticed she didn't deny the look.

"I've given it to you." Her chest tightened. He wasn't wrong.

"Well that's not completely your fault." She tried.

"Yes it is. However, as I do not want to fight-"

"That's a first." She muttered, regretting it the moment it came out of her mouth. "Enjolras-"

"You should go. It's almost nine. You don't want to keep the therapist waiting." He said curtly.

She gave no response, she simply turned and wheeled herself down to the nurses' station. Euphrasie was waiting for her, smiling brightly as always. However, the smile faltered as René came closer.

"I already got the lecture from Enjolras. I'll go to bed earlier tonight. I promise." René promised.

"You know he's good for you." Euphrasie smiled again as she pushed René down to the physical therapy room.

"I'm _so_ glad you approve of my relationships." René said dryly.

"We _are_ friends." Euphrasie countered.

"I thought you were my chauffer." René quipped.

"I don't have to sneak you the Domaines Auriol." Euphrasie threatened.

"No, we're friends, I love you, we're friends. Don't take away my wine." René pleaded.

Euphrasie just laughed.

* * *

She totally shouldn't have pushed herself this far. She'd been upset and wanted to exercise some of the bad feeling away and while it felt good to stand on her own for a record of two minutes at one time her feet had declared war now. Physical therapy had been over at least an hour now, and she was so tired. But she couldn't sleep. Every muscle ached, her feet and that same spot in her back were the worst, but sleep would not come. She lay in uncomfortable limbo for what felt like hours. The only time she moved was when she snuggled as deep in the blankets as she could. The nurses' must've been warm because usually they didn't have the rooms chilly like it was now. That or some idiot broke the thermostat.

She'd closed her eyes permanently at the two hour mark in an effort to ease sleep over to her, but no dice. Time became breathes and once she'd counted to four hundred she knew she wasn't going to bore herself to sleep. That left just lying there. She felt a cool hand on her head some time later. She opened her eyes to see Euphrasie frowning and grabbing one of the head stick thermometers. When Euphrasie came back, René cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Euphrasie whispered.

"You didn't. I never fell asleep in the first place." René said.

"Why didn't you ask for medication?" Euphrasie glared at her friend as she read the thermometer.

"Because I wanted a nap not a full night's sleep. Meds knock me out for at least eight hours." René explained.

Euphrasie frowned at the thermometer.

"How are you feeling?" Euphrasie asked.

"Tired as fuck. My feet hurt. My back hurts. Actually, everything hurts. But it's manageable." René answered.

"Well, the fever might've come from pushing yourself too far. Next time be careful about how far you're going. I know you want to walk, but you need to go as fast as your body will let you." Euphrasie patted her hand in a comforting way.

"Fever may explain why it's so chilly." René figured.

"Here. I can help." Euphrasie walked out.

"You know, company isn't bad when you're sick." René called after her.

Euphrasie didn't hear her. She came back with a syringe and extra blanket a few minutes later. She draped the blanket over René and reached for the syringe.

"Whoa, whoa what is that?" René brought both arms close to her chest.

"Calm down. It's a muscle relaxant. It should help your muscles feel better so you can take your nap." Euphrasie clarified.

René nodded and extended her arm. So used to needles and being poked and prodded by doctors, she didn't flinch when the syringe entered her arm and when it exited. However, the drug didn't feel like any muscle relaxant she'd ever been given. Her mind almost instantly became muddled and it seemed that her very thoughts were slurring. Her eyelids became lead and slid shut.

"By the way," Euphrasie gave her a kiss to the temple, "I lied."

* * *

Hard coughs woke her. Doctor Madeleine was listening to her lungs and she found Euphrasie behind him.

"Traitor." She croaked out. "Is that my voice? What happened? Why do I sound like my voice did not survive a barricade of old?"

"Did anyone new visit you yesterday or a couple days before?" Madeleine asked, ignoring her questions.

"Yesterday, yeah. The boy who attacked me came to visit to apologize. He didn't stay long but we basically just yelled at each other." René mumbled.

"Coughing, Euphrasie reported muscle fatigue and aches, are there any more symptoms?" Madeleine inquired.

"Throat's become a little tender. Swallowing hurts a bit. My head hurts." René admitted.

Madeleine thought for just a second. "All right. My medical diagnosis is… you have a slight cold. Nothing to worry about. It won't kill you."

She nodded, coughed again and settled down to sleep again. Madeleine and Euphrasie bade her good night. Illness meant naps for however long she wanted them to be. And now she just wanted to sleep. Forever.

* * *

**Hahahahahahahahaha! Anyone who guesses what fate I have planned for these two gets a surprise! Leave a review and tell me one or more of three things: 1) what you think will happen, 2) what you think should happen, 3) how you think it should end. I'd love to hear where you all see this is going. Surprises and reviews make my life. Until next time. Adieu, mon chers.**


	20. Chapter 20

René didn't see Enjolras for the rest of the day, and the next. She considered asking Euphrasie to tell Enjolras she wasn't mad at him, but then she figured Euphrasie would tell him she was sick so he would know she wasn't avoiding him. She sent out a mass text saying not to visit her as she was sick and didn't want to infect anyone. For six days, all she did was sleep, play video games on her phone, watch Code Lyoko, take medication, and play guitar when her fingers were up to it, Eponine thankfully leaving the guitar in her room.

She was half-conscious after taking some decongestant medication when voices drifted into her room.

"I don't think we should tell her." She'd never heard this voice before. Male, and probably older. It held a certain weariness in it.

"She deserves to know. They're together. He never left her side when she was in a coma. When he was brought in, she told him to survive and he did." Euphrasie argued.

"Well, maybe eventually. But right now, she's sick and so is he. Telling her will only upset her and aggravate her cold. She will be fine in a week. Tell her then." The man said.

"He might not make it that long!" Euphrasie shouted before she took a breath. "Huchloup, wouldn't you want to know?"

"It's not my wife. I can't empathize." 'Huchloup' answered.

"Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather they didn't tell you until she was already dead." Euphrasie cut.

_That's a little harsh, _René thought.

Huchloup didn't answer vocally. Euphrasie's steps got closer.

"Hun, are you awake?" Euphrasie whispered.

"'M awake." She slurred.

"Don't lie to me." Euphrasie threatened.

"'M not. Heard everything you said. Something about people being already dead." René said.

Euphrasie didn't look convinced but continued. "Sweetheart, I need you to promise me that you won't freak out. I need you to keep calm. I won't tell you if you don't promise me."

"I promise. You won't even know I'm here I'll be so calm." René grinned.

"God, I really wish you weren't high on cough medicine." Euphrasie hissed under her breath.

"I am not high! A little tired, but not high." René protested.

"If you say so." Euphrasie took a breath. "Something happened to Enjolras. Somehow, the infection in his shoulder went to his chest and he's… he's really sick."

Suddenly, all lethargy vanished from her system. Enjolras? Sick?

"He's going to be okay, right?" René asked.

"We don't know, honey. He's fighting but this could kill him. And before you even think about it, you can't visit him. You're still sick and a sick person visiting another sick person will only make him worse." Euphrasie pushed her down as she tried to get up.

"He needs to be okay. Why is it we always fight before we physically can't forgive each other?" René moaned.

"Excuse me?" Euphrasie questioned.

"I said stupid things before I left him. And I didn't take them back. It's always like that. It'll never change." René spat.

"He might not die. You said yourself he's a fighter. You ordered him not to die." Euphrasie tried.

"Yeah, well, I find people have a way of disappointing me." René sighed.

"There is still hope." Euphrasie said.

"Hope? All hope has ever done for me is beaten me down and left me in the gutter to die. I have no hope. It has forsaken me." René growled, ending the conversation.

Euphrasie sighed, gave her shoulder a squeeze which René refused to draw comfort from, and left.

She did not sleep for the rest of the day. Nor did she speak. It was 4:34 when she last looked at the clock but she knew more time had passed. Knowing Euphrasie wasn't going to be on shift, she managed to get a nurse's attention as he passed. She feigned exhaustion, though it wasn't entirely too hard.

"Look, I really want to sleep but I'm not really that tired. Could you please bring me a wheelchair so I can tire myself out?" She begged.

The nurse shrugged and brought her one.

"Just ask if you want someone to bring you back." He said and left her without a word.

She expertly maneuvered herself into the chair and rolled up to the nurses' station. She snagged one of those masks the nurses wore when they didn't want to spread germs. She'd often seen Joly with one on so she knew a little of what she was doing. After putting it on, it was really pretty simple, she went to Enjolras's room. She got lost, a fact of which she would never admit, but eventually made her way to his room. His bedside clock said 6:21. Okay so maybe she got lost more than once. It was a big hospital!

Enjolras was still when she entered. She hadn't expected him to wake up but it was still strange seeing him so still. She rolled up to his side and grabbed one of his hands. She could see his pale and sweaty complexion even in the darkness of his room. The palm in her hands was sweaty and tense. She tried stroking her thumb down the back of his hand but very little tension left his hand. He was in pain even as he slept, or was unconscious. She wished she could take his pain, give him as much comfort she could. But she knew she couldn't. Physically and he would pitch a fit about how she went through enough pain already. Which was just so Enjolras.

"You're up early." A raspy, thin voice brought her out of her thoughts.

Though his eyes were more red than blue, the only emotion in them was indifference. She hung her head in shame.

"I shouldn't have said what I did. I wasn't feeling all that great and I was exhausted. I'm- I'm sorry." René whispered.

"I know." He stated.

"Do you even want me here?" She asked, dreading his answer.

"No. But not for the reasons you're thinking of." He answered.

"Excuse me?" She responded, her shoulders sinking to the floor.

"I've never been fond of people seeing me when I'm weak or vulnerable." He said.

"Then what was the day you took me to the Musain for lunch?" She snorted, more from nerves than sarcasm.

Somehow, he knew. "I thought it would be rude to kick you out after what you did for me."

She smiled softly but it did not last. Every last bit of hope she could have had, had fled her body.

"Look at me." He commanded.

She did. His eyes were still indifferent but then she saw pain and fear behind them. He wasn't being indifferent to her, but hiding his pain from her. Fear turned to annoyance.

"Do you want me to hit your pain med button?" She tried.

"It's manageable." He said stiffly.

"Don't bullshit me." She said bluntly.

"Yes. I wasn't expecting it to hurt this much." He admitted.

She hit it once, so he would still be conscious and mostly in control but the pain could lessen.

"Thank you." He breathed.

"Of course." She sighed. "I don't know what to say. I didn't plan this out. Probably should have."

"It's okay. I don't really know either. I wasn't expecting you. I do wish you'd tell me when you decide to pop by." He said dryly.

She laughed, but soon the smile faded.

"I'm not going to die. I promise you that." He grabbed her hand, which was still on his bed.

"Yeah, well, Ryan promised me that before he went to college. Look what happened to him." She muttered.

"Have you ever had hope?" He asked bluntly.

"When I was a kid, yeah. Before my parents were killed and I learned what human nature was truly like." She swallowed hard.

"Eponine told us what happened to them. I'm so sorry." He whispered.

"When?" She tilted her head. She wasn't mad, just curious. Though she didn't deny her annoyance that she wasn't the one who told them what happened to her parents.

"I think it was the first December you were in a coma. Did I just get her in trouble?" He grimaced.

"You earned her a head smack but the first person who told me would've earned her that so don't worry about it." She promised, going into a small coughing fit.

"Are you all right? You don't look well." He noticed.

"I'm sick, honey. Just a common-"

A thought hit her. She had been sick with a chest cold. Enjolras now had a chest infection. She had been sick when she came to visit, or at least she was a carrier.

Oh God.

_Oh God._

She'd given Enjolras her virus. Enjolras could die because of her.

Something far, far away was shouting, something about her name and help, but she couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. Black spots danced along her vision until two centered dots started to get larger and she sank into oblivion.

* * *

He knew she was going to have a seizure the minute she stopped speaking. A single tear slid down her face. From the looks of it, she didn't even try to fight it. Or she couldn't. Enjolras couldn't tell which it was.

"Grantaire. Grantaire! Help! Somebody help! Please!" He screamed as loud as his voice allowed him to.

It wasn't very loud, but one of the nurses managed to hear him. That or the shaking of the wheelchair as Grantaire violently shook. Immediately, nurses rushed into the room and lowered her gently to the floor. One grabbed the pillow under him, he leaned forward to make it as easy as possible, and placed it under her head. Another ripped the mask off of her face to try and work her jaw. The worst part was lying on his bed, which was raised, he had a perfect view of Grantaire's shaking body, fluttering eyelids, and the whiteness of her eyes which had rolled back into her head. For the first time, he could hear something come from her mouth. It sounded like pained whimpers. He knew he was right when he saw tears streak down her cheeks.

"Dammit! Her jaw's clenched on her tongue. I can't get it open." One of the nurses cursed.

"She has to ride it out. We just have to hope she won't need stitches." Another said.

"From the blood pouring out of her mouth, she's going to. Fetch" He checked the bracelet around her wrist, "Madeleine."

The first one ran out of the room. She seized for at least an hour, or so it felt like. After a life age of the Earth, Madeleine came in. Grantaire was still seizing. Blood was pouring out of her mouth, running down her chin and neck.

"Get me a gurney. And someone reach either Jean Valjean or Eponine Thernadier. Tell them I need to speak with them immediately." Madeleine ordered.

After another forever, she finally stilled. Her eyes were closed and her chest was only barely rising. The gurney had arrived and they loaded her onto it. It wasn't until she vanished from his sight that he could tear his eyes away. There was a small blood pool where she used to be. He bit down on his cheek, trying to hold back tears.

"Kid, she'll be okay. It's really not that bad. You need to focus on resting." The one nurse who came back, probably to check up on him, said.

His suspicions were confirmed as his temperature was taken and his pain level was inquired. He answered six, though his heart was more of a twenty. The agony in his shoulder seemed so insignificant to what he had just watched. He guessed the nurse didn't believe his answer by the slight glare coming from the man. His eyes fell onto the pool of blood left on the floor. His stomach rebelled against him but managed to quell his nausea.

"Kid, I'm serious. Even if she needs stitches, it won't be many and those will be out in a few days. The reason it bleed so much was because the tongue has a ton of blood in it. And because of that, the healing process goes incredibly fast. She'll be fine." The nurse swore.

Enjolras nodded blankly. "It's her brain everyone's worried about, though."

"She's an epileptic, kid, I'm sure she's had worse. She might not remember a few things but nothing major." He shrugged.

"You call memory loss nothing major? The last time she lost her memory she lost an entire month." Enjolras snapped.

The nurse sighed, and left. He came back a couple minutes later with a syringe and he emptied it into one of Enjolras's many I.V.s. Darkness overtook him before the nurse even left the room.

* * *

Lorde's Royals woke her up rudely. She would have to remember to turn her phone's volume down.

"Is this Eponine Thernadier?" A voice asked.

"Yeah." She answered sleepily. It was too early for this.

"You need to speak to Doctor Madeleine immediately. It's about René Grantaire." Eponine didn't need coffee anymore, thank you.

"What's happened?" Eponine demanded.

"They haven't told me. Only that it's extremely urgent." The voice told her. "Oh here he is."

"Hello, my dear. She's fine, I just have some questions that need answering that aren't in her records." Madeleine assured her.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "What do you need to know?"

"How long was her longest seizure?" Madeleine asked.

"Forty-five seconds. How long was this one?" She countered.

"Roughly two minutes and fifteen seconds." Madeleine admitted.

"Two minutes?! What set her off?" Eponine required.

"We don't know. She's still unconscious and Enjolras fell asleep. And I don't want to risk waking him." Madeleine answered.

"Enjolras?" Combeferre had told them all that the infection had spread to his chest. Could that have something to do with it? "Is he all right?"

"As well as he can be right now. He's still in danger, especially if his fever gets worse, but it seems she's just the one we have to worry about right now." Madeleine replied.

"Did she bite through her tongue?" Eponine questioned.

"No. She sank her teeth in pretty good but she only needs about three stitches and those should be gone in two days." Madeleine promised.

"Good. MRI?" Eponine said.

"Right now. Has she ever spoken during a seizure?" Madeleine requested.

"No. She's always quiet. She may have when she was a child but anyone who truly knows is dead." Eponine replied.

"Not even just whimpering?" Madeleine pressed.

"No. Why?" Eponine countered.

"More than likely it was because she bit her tongue so hard." Madeleine sounded like he was writing.

Eponine assumed she'd been whimpering during this seizure.

"Thank you, my dear. I'll call with updates." She said her goodbyes and they hung up.

She debated calling Combeferre but they'd been up late talking to each other and she wanted to give him some rest. With Enjolras in the hospital, she knew he didn't get as much as he was used to. Especially since he got worse. So Eponine just curled into a ball and cried.

* * *

**Hey everyone! I'm back. With my speech finally written, and a Lord of the Rings marathon planned for tomorrow I figured I might just squeeze some writing time in for this story. Now, feel free to leave a review- leave one LEAVE ONE- and all feedback is appreciated. ** **Questions, thoughts, goals, beliefs, emissions or desires.**** No trolls though, please. Feeding you guys is tiring and as a college student, I have no energy. It's called three class a day and for a college student, that's a lot. Adieu, mon chers. Until we meet again.**


	21. Chapter 21

Something was wrong. He knew it in his heart. He needed to see Grantaire. He needed to see the girl he loved more than his country.

"Enj, you need to calm down." Combeferre said in his best soothing voice. No, he didn't need to be soothed. He needed Grantaire.

"I need to see her. Where is she?" Enjolras demanded.

"She's asleep, Enj. She's so tired. And I know you are too." Combeferre stroked Enjolras's curls in an attempt to calm him.

"I thought you were asleep." Enjolras murmured as she entered the room.

She looked different this time. Her hair was tied back in a loose bun, she wore nothing but a bra and hospital pants and she was paler than he remembered her by. Her arms were crossed and she had an annoyed look on her face. But she stood in all her beautiful glory, the mere eye contact slowing his heartbeat.

"Enjolras who are you talking to?" He heard Combeferre whisper but if Combeferre simply turned around, he wouldn't have to ask obvious questions.

"I was asleep. Apparently, you needed to see me. You've seen me." Grantaire said exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He said.

She sighed. "I hate those eyes. I can't stay mad at them."

"My secret weapon." He smirked.

She laughed a little and walked over to him. She climbed onto the bed and looked him over.

"You look like shit." She commented.

"I got shot." He said indignantly. "I'm allowed to look like shit."

"I know that, dumbass." She shot.

He glared at her.

She laughed.

"I wouldn't let them do that." Grantaire motioned towards a nurse who was trying to inject something into his IV.

"No! No, I want to stay awake! I'm not sleeping!" He shouted, pulling the IV out of her reach.

"It is rude to put someone to sleep when they're having a conversation." She murmured.

"What she said." He agreed.

She snorted with laughter.

"By the way, if you die, I'm going to kill you." She shrugged casually.

"Wouldn't you be a bit late for that?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"No. Because I'd kill myself to join you." She smiled.

"I forbid you from doing that. You can't." He tried.

"Simple answer, honey. Don't die." He felt her hand run down the side of his face, brushing his curls behind his ears.

"I won't. I promise. I can't lose you." He wanted to touch her face, hug her, kiss her but he couldn't lift his arms.

She leaned down but didn't kiss him, as much as he wanted her to.

"Remember what I told you before. Keep away from the darkness." Her eyes bored holes into his soul with her words.

He nodded, unable to speak in the presence of such an amazing goddess. And she called him Apollo. She might as well be Aphrodite incarnate.

"Have you noticed the room is cold?" He asked.

She nodded. "Keep away from the cold too. Apollo wouldn't do well in the cold."

"I live Paris. I'm used to cold." He shrugged, or at least tried.

"Don't move, Apollo. You'll need your strength to keep fighting." She said.

"You said that the first time." He knit his eyebrows together.

"I was right the first time and I'm right now. Why don't you close your eyes and I'll tell you a story?" She offered.

He nodded and closed his eyes. Immediately, he began to feel lethargic. Then she began to speak. She spoke so clearly and so descriptively he could see everything as if he were watching a movie.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She lived in a mighty castle, had plenty of alcohol to drink and had many people who cared about her. However, for all of this, she was so lonely. Of course, she hid it well from the people who loved her but she couldn't help feeling sad. She confessed this feeling to her closest friend, who suggested they throw a masquerade ball to see if any suitor could catch her attention and help ease her loneliness. The princess didn't think it would work, she knew her loneliness was not one easily cured, but she indulged her friend nonetheless. Her friends all celebrated, already planning how to banish the unlucky suitors who weren't lucky enough to win her favor and a few had even started with the wedding of the suitor she did like. To see her friends so happy, she humored them this planning. She doubted she would find anyone who could court her but her friends would not let her speak of such things as they were certain they were going to have to be turning away thousands. She did not see herself attractive enough for what they spoke of. They sent out invitations to every maiden and bachelor in the kingdom. When she asked why they would invite the maidens, they responded with the answer "Who are we supposed to dance with?" She laughed and every man and woman her age was invited.

But she didn't know there was one bachelor by the awful name of Maddox who sought more than her company. He wanted nothing more than to be King, to dominate the kingdom and its princess. He received the invitation and thought this could be his chance. He thought the princess a gorgeous woman and prepared his best suit for the ball. Along with something else of a more devious nature.

But there was another boy who received an invitation. A kind, stunning boy on the inside and out. His name was Jacob. At first, he had not wanted to go. You see, he was a revolutionary. He wanted freedom and equality for everyone, not just the rich. But a thought occurred to him. He might be able to convince the princess that a republic was something their country needed. So he resolved to go, though he had no interest of courting the princess as per what the invitation encouraged them to do (he didn't think the princess knew about that part of the invitation).

The night of the ball came. The princess was dressed in a royal gown that seemed to make her beauty untouchable. Her mask only covered her eyes and her friends, who had seen her for many years, were so overthrown with her that they were speechless. She waved them off, thinking their awe was some form of being a good friend and subject. She entered the ballroom and many men approached her, asking for dances. Jacob entered the ballroom and earned many looks of distaste. You see, he did not have money for perfectly tailored suits as others did. His parents were by no means poor, but they spent their money trying to give bread to the hungry. So his best suit was rather a loose but clean shirt, and pants that were slightly ripped but still usable. He made his way through the crowd, ignoring the scoffs and upturned noses of the others. He did not care for the remarks of others. He saw a great many men around one girl, and he stopped for a minute having lost his breath. The girl was more than beautiful. The word beautiful could be considered an insult to this woman. He couldn't tear his eyes off of her ebony hair, snow white skin, and blood red lips. Having noticed someone was staring at her from outside the circle around her, she turned to look at him. The world stopped. They saw nothing but each other. He felt her eyes go over his blonde curls, his own pale skin and pink lips. She moved closer to him, ignoring the protests of the other suitors and he found the courage to move to her. They met in the middle.

"Would you like to dance?" He whispered.

"I'd love to." She replied immediately.

He led her into a circle that had circled around them both. He put her hand on her waist and she grabbed his hand. He led her in a few dance steps, he knew nothing more but it seemed she did not mind. They did not break from each other's eyes the entire time. Only once the music stopped, did he remember his mission.

"Oh I meant to speak with the princess." He cursed himself.

"But you have been dancing with her." She smiled at him.

He returned it. The music swelled once again and they were in each other's arms, not so much dancing as swaying.

"My lady, I came here with a wish. And a dream." He said.

"And what is that?" She asked, slightly dreading his answer. If he wished marriage or a royal title, she wasn't sure she would grant him such.

"I came to urge you to drop your royal title and instill a republic. Your people suffer at the hands of the rich, they deserve an end to tyranny. I do not wish to accuse you of such things but I believe there is much that goes on outside your castle that you do not know." Jacob told her.

"If that is your wish, what is your dream?" She encouraged. She disliked being princess and promised herself she would not remain part of the snot-nose brat class forever.

"A kingdom of equals. Those who go hungry being fed. Those who freeze being kept warm. A kingdom where it does not matter if you were born a princess or a peasant. All have the same rights and privileges as the others." He had not noticed but as he spoke, their steps grew fancier and more complex. He did not know how he knew such things but he found he did not care. He was much too focused on the princess in his arms.

"I cannot guarantee anything but it is worth looking into. If we are to try it, we must have a leader ready, ways to stabilize the economy, and of course, the peoples approval." She thought aloud.

His face broke into one of the truest smiles he had ever felt. She was listening to him! Agreeing with him! There was hope for the kingdom. The music ended once more and they moved to sit outside, away from everyone else.

"My lady, I do not mean to interrupt, but I was bidden to give you this token by your friends." A boy neither knew approached them. He was black haired, had a sharp nose and chin, and held out a glass of wine it seemed.

"Ah, my friends. Always trying to look out for me. I thank thee, boy." She accepted the glass without question and went back to conversing with her partner.

"My princess, I must say I expected much more resistance from you." He commented.

"I don't have much resistance to anything, really. I remember when I first found out when two of my friends were secretly in love. My two male friends. My father would never have gone for it, but I thought to myself, if they are in love, who am I to stand in their way?" She recounted.

"That's a beautiful thing my lady." He whispered.

"I didn't get your name." Her eyelids fluttered of their own accord as they leaned closer together.

"Jacob. Jacob of the House of Musain." He answered.

A laugh escaped her lips and she quickly tried to recover but the moment was lost.

"I do not understand." He questioned.

"Your name. It means supplanter. I find it funny that a revolutionary has that name." She explained.

He smiled at her. "I'm glad I could cause you amusement, my lady."

"Do not call me such things. I grew weary of those terms when I was six. I have no love for them now." She muttered.

"Forgive me. I did not call you such things just because you are a princess. I call you such things because I wish you to be my princess." He said bluntly.

Her heart melted a little. She blushed and nodded.

He stroked her cheek, and she felt his thumb run over her mask. Her nimble fingers removed it with some grace. She reached for his, hesitated but he blinked in a way of saying 'go ahead'. She pulled his off and saw directly into his eyes. They leaned closer, their eyes closing as their lips sgrew closer together.

A chorus of 'My lady's came and they saw the group of her earlier suitors coming over with tokens of their own.

"Let us fly. I have no wish to explain to them I have already chosen my prince." She said and he nodded.

They started to flee and it seemed they would chase her forever, when the boy who gave her the juice saw them and called out, "This way, my lady!"

They followed him into what seemed to be a closet and he shut the door. He held two more glasses.

"For the girl you court?" The princess asked, gesturing to the new glasses.

"If she'd have me." He answered.

"What is your name, monsieur?" Jacob asked.

"Maddox." He answered, slightly glaring at Jacob. The princess did not notice.

"Well, if you would be so kind to hand me one." She asked.

Maddox handed it to her immediately. She turned and gave it to Jacob.

"A toast." She announced.

All three raised their glasses.

"To love, quick escapes, and my new prince." She smiled and took a long drink.

Her drink fell from her hands as she swallowed. Jacob caught her.

"My princess?" He asked, checking her forehead for a fever. What he found scared him worse than any fever. Her skin grew cold.

"Fetch a doctor." Jacob ordered and Maddox left.

"Oh. I feel strange." She murmured.

"Hush, my dear. Save your strength. A doctor is going to come and make you better." Jacob promised.

His heart broke as he heard her gasp for air. He swept her off her feet and carried her outside. He knew not where Maddox had gone, but he thought he might have better luck in the ballroom. A doctor must be there, or at least one who was training to be one. Her moans grew fainter as he ran faster.

Once he returned to the ballroom, he cried out "Somebody help me! Please!"

A young man rushed forward and beckoned him to place her on a couch. He started checking her over and then wailed in anguish.

"This is beyond any doctor's skill to heal. The princess has passed. What happened?" The young doctor asked.

"I do not know. She simply drunk from a glass of wine. Then she collapsed. The boy said he was bidden to give it to her by one of you. He said his name was Maddox." Jacob answered lifelessly.

"Finnegan, we didn't give her any wine." A girl chimed. Besides the princess she was clad in the fanciest cloth in the ball.

"Someone find the boy! Whether he meant to poison her, he must know something. What did he look like?" Finnegan asked and Jacob described him.

"I'm Evanna." The brightly clad girl said, coming over. "You were her partner all night."

Jacob nodded.

"I believe you've already met my husband, Lord Finnegan of Paris." Evanna gestured to the doctor who was still trying to do his best to bring his friend back. "His passion is medicine."

Two hours later, the guards brought Maddox into the room.

"Oh no!" He moaned but didn't seem to mean it.

"What have you done?" Finnegan asked.

"I haven't killed her, calm thyself." Maddox wrenched free of the guards and walked over to her. He pushed Jacob out of the way and kissed the princess roughly.

She did not move.

"I don't understand. This was supposed to work." He kissed her again but still nothing happened.

Jacob grabbed a fistful of his shirt, brought Maddox to his nose and punched him until the guards pulled him off.

"I apologize, lords and ladies. I forgot myself." Jacob muttered.

"Whatever do you mean? I saw nothing." Evanna shrugged.

But Jacob did not care. His beautiful princess was lost to him. He felt hopeless. His mission of a revolution gone. Everything he cared for was gone. He fell to his knees besides his princess and started to cry.

* * *

"That's a sad story." He murmured.

He got no answer.

He gradually opened his eyes to an empty room.

* * *

**I know, I know, I'm just evil. And I do have a reason for including this. I always have a reason for everything. If you want, you can tell me what you think. And please want to. Reviews make my life so much better. And again, if you guys want to, tell me where you think this is going, where you want it to go, or even anything you think might be cool in here. Also, what you don't want to happen will be included. Adieu, mon chers. Until next time.**

**P.S. Jacob=Julien. Plus really does mean supplanter. ****Maddox=Montparnasse. ****Evanna=Eponine. Finnegan=Ferre(Combeferre)**


	22. Chapter 22

He very reluctantly told the doctors most of what had happened. It hadn't helped that the doctors basically witnessed him talking to something that wasn't there. He kept the story out. That was too personal, even for a doctor. They reassured him, told him his fever had been spiking so it messed with his mind. Told him it was normal. That it was just all in his head. He wondered if this is what Grantaire felt like when she had depression. The doctors, the questions, the looks of pity. He hated it. And he'd only hallucinated once. She had to go through months of depression. He had a newfound respect for her. She put up with a lot of bullshit.

"Yeah, I do." Grantaire answered. She was dressed in a black halter top, the kind that loops around your neck and has a connecting piece, and blue jeans. Her black hair curled every which way and she was still paler than normal.

He looked around. He was still in his hospital room. But she was standing. And that meant this wasn't real.

"My fever's spiking again?" He asked the projection tiredly.

She made the sound of a buzzer when someone got a question wrong.

"A dream?" He guessed.

She tapped her nose.

"You're not real." He tried shifting but he couldn't move. Just like in the waking world.

"Actually, yes I am. I'm just not Grantaire. Well, not the girl you love." She shrugged.

"Then who are you? A guardian angel?" He said sarcastically. She smacked him for it.

"No. I'm you. I'm the part of you that doesn't want to die. Physically manifested into something you would live for." She explained.

"And what good does that do me?" He said bitterly.

Suddenly, she started fading. She screamed and he grabbed her, trying to soothe whatever hurt she had.

"Don't do that. The more you give up hope, the less I show up. The less time I have to convince you that life is worth living." She snapped.

"Convince me." He said and he could hear his own voice break.

"Apparently, I need to quote her. Obviously, you don't remember what she said. That she meant every word. "Now you listen to me, Julien Enjolras. You have a reason to live, so you'd better. I am not losing you to some hyped up protest that you couldn't keep your stupid ass out of! You fight for your damn life because I can't go on without you! I think we both have been idiots and I'd like to fix that but I need you with me to do it. Our friends need you. Goddamn it, Enjolras, I need you! So don't you give up! Don't you let go." Do you remember her saying that?" Grantaire tried.

He nodded.

"You know she meant it. And I did mean what I said when I said she'd kill herself." Grantaire sighed.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you're the last shred of hope she has left! She doesn't have anyone else." Grantaire shouted.

"Yes she does! Eponine, the Amis, her godfather and sister." He listed.

"She doesn't care about what Eponine says. Doesn't hang on her every word. Yeah, she's her best friend. But you know you'll be surprised if she actually tells her everything that goes on in her life. You know she doesn't vent to her. She barely vents to anyone. The Amis? They'd be dealing with losing you too. They love you. Do you really think Combeferre would do anything but grieve for months? And what of Courfeyrac, who introduced her to everyone? Yea, he's good for a laugh. But without you, he wouldn't laugh for a very, very long time. And she barely talks to her godfather. It's not that she doesn't love him. She started her amazing practice of keeping everyone out with him. You know you doubt that she's had a genuine conversation with him in years. Cosette spends too much time in her own life to really invest herself into Grantaire's. You're all she has. You're the only thing worth living for to her." Grantaire shot down.

He didn't speak.

"You know what you overheard when they thought you were asleep." Grantaire accused.

He shook his head. "Can't be true."

"It is and you know it!" She yelled.

"_I feel for the guy, I do. But I doubt he'll be around much longer to care." A male nurse's voice resonated around him._

"_Don't say that. He's a fighter. He won't give up." Grantaire's nurse said. He thought her name started with an E? An I maybe? "And neither will she."_

"_You really think so? How many sleeping pills did she fake her way into getting and shoving down her throat? Oh that's right. I remember. Twenty-four over four days. And then she somehow got alcohol. For what? Because her boyfriend is dying? I think I'd rather die than wake up to something like that." The nurse said._

"How the hell did she do it?" He whispered.

The scene changed. It was raining. He was at the miniature lake at the edge of his backyard. This was the first time he'd refused to go to church with his family. That hadn't gone over well. He ran here and sat in the rain until he fell asleep and his father came and carried him home. He'd whispered that it was going to be all right and they'd work something out. It was one of the better memories of his father. His father wasn't so much the problem as his mother was. Didn't want her son conferring with those 'goddamn homosexuals'. The rain hid his tears pretty well.

"Simple. Over four days, ask six different nurses. Not very hard when she wasn't sleeping to begin with. She didn't have to fake exhaustion." Grantaire sat down beside him.

"How the hell do I know this? I've been asleep and/or unconscious for several days." He asked.

"Because you know her and you're smart. This isn't for sure but you are one of the sharpest crayons in the box." She shrugged.

"How do I convince her to keep going?" He inquired.

"Simple. You survive. She'll tell you what set her off and you fix it. That's your relationship with her. You argue, you fight, you separate, you make up, you say what set you off and you fix it. Only now, you fix it together. But if you don't try to come back, she's gone. There will be nothing left to fix." She responded.

Suddenly, the earth shook. This wasn't from his memory.

"It's okay. This is good. The dream is shaking a little but you have control." Grantaire mused.

"What is this?" He requested.

"You're fighting back, Apollo. You're kicking ass and taking names." She grinned.

"I never understood that idiom." He muttered.

She laughed. "Maybe not, but she does. Ask her when you get a chance."

He smiled back. "So how do I wake myself up?"

"You're the dreamer. I'm the projection. You really wanna ask that?" She cocked an eyebrow. "Maybe I was wrong about the whole sharp crayon thing."

"I don't have time to be self-deprecating." He rolled his eyes and she vanished. He closed his eyes and shouted, "Wake up!"

His eyes flew open and he took a deep breath. His hospital room had returned. Or rather he'd never left it, he was just conscious now. He wasn't sure how long he had slept but he knew he felt better. Better than he had in a long time. He wasn't one-hundred percent but he was at least thirty percent. And that would only increase with time. He would make damn sure it would. But now he had a mission and whether it set him back weeks, because it wasn't killing him no matter how hard it tried, he was going to finish it.

He called his nurse, then asked if Grantaire's nurse, whose name was Euphrasie (ha he knew it was an E), was on duty. She was and popped in.

"Is there something you need?" She asked, starting to check him over as he wouldn't let his own nurse do so.

"Where's Grantaire?" He replied.

She stopped. "I don't think you want to hear about her right now. You're still very sick and I don't want to upset you."

"I know what she tried to do to herself. I overheard you arguing. Is she okay?" He insisted.

Euphrasie sighed. "Physically, she's getting there. Mentally, I don't know what to tell you. She won't speak, she won't eat, all she does is sleep… do you know what happened? What were you doing just before she seized?"

"Talking. I told her she didn't look too well and she just… broke inside. I don't even know what it was. She looked like the whole world came crashing down around her." He answered.

Euphrasie sighed again.

"Can I see her?" He tried.

"Honey, I don't think that's a good idea. One, you're not strong enough. Your fever has gone down but that doesn't mean you've gotten some of your strength back. You did kind of get shot and almost die. Most people don't get up and run around after that. Two, I don't know if she can handle seeing you. She's gotten… quite destructive." Euphrasie responded.

"Then at least give me some paper and a pen." He said.

She looked surprised, but nodded. "Once I finish checking you over."

He conceded, dealt with her poking and prodding, and finally she got him what he asked for. Thankfully she also got him something to put the paper on.

"I can dictate that for you." She offered.

"No. It has to be my handwriting. She might believe this but I have to try." He waved her out.

She put up her hands in surrender and left.

_-Dear Grantaire,-_

_My dearest Grantaire,_

_-What have you-__ -why would- I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to say with this. I do not wish to ask what have you done to yourself because I know exactly what you did. Nor will I ask why. It is my understanding you have enough people asking about why you tried to do this. I do not wish to add to the list. I've never dealt with something like this before so if I just make it worse feel free to stop reading. I won't be offended or anything. I can't visit you right now, no matter what much I want to. You probably don't remember this but I remember when you got really drunk in October, just before you and Prouvaire broke up. You were celebrating something. The two week anniversary, I believe. Heavens why you were, but you were and Eponine looked like she was struggling with you. I was heading home anyways so I'd thought I'd help out. Eponine looked grateful for the help. But the minute I came over, you latched onto me and refused to let go. You just sort of snuggled close to me and may or may not have forced me to carry you. We wrangled you into my car but since you wouldn't let go of me, I gave Eponine my keys and climbed into the backseat with you. I don't trust Eponine as a driver. -She drives much too fast and I think she pushes too far. One of these days, she's going to be killed.- You, however, do so I let it slide. About halfway home, you started groaning. Not like you were going to be sick but like you weren't happy. So I started stroking your hair. For some reason it calmed you down. You liked it. You ended up falling asleep to it. If you call me on this, I will vehemently deny it, (I don't think it'll do much good though. I'm a shit liar.) It was then I realized that I was jealous of what you had with Prouvaire. I wanted to be the one who made you happy like that. It's why I idiotically tried to comfort you once you'd broken up. -I'd heard of the term rebound before.- I miss you. Your hair, black as ebony. Your skin, pale as snow. Your lips, red as blood. I have a story to tell you, if you want to hear it. I think you'll like it. It's about a beautiful princess who is very lonely and a revolutionary who doesn't think he wants to court the wonderful princess. I think above all else, I miss your smile. The bright one you had at the Parade, the half one you give when your embarrassed that people are giving you complements, and the one you wear when you laugh. I love your laugh. I know you hate it, apparently all girls hate their laughs (according to Eponine) but I think it's beautiful. Just like you. I wish you could see you the way I see you. You'd see you were worth living for. I think you are._

_With much love, _

_Enjolras_

He folded it and gave it to Euphrasie, once he'd let her back in. She promised she'd get it by the end of the day. Strangely, she started cutting up the edges.

"It's so she can keep it. Paper can cut you but if I make this as dull as possible, it'll be harder for her to try."

She came by about six hours later- that had been a nice nap- and said she'd delivered his message. However, she couldn't guarantee that Grantaire would read it. She hadn't responded when Euphrasie delivered the letter. She hadn't even looked at Euphrasie.

"What room is she in?" He asked just before Euphrasie left.

"Why?" Euphrasie asked suspiciously.

"Because what happens if I write another letter and you're not on duty? And they don't know her?" He explained.

"NCC-1701." She stated before abruptly leaving.

He waited for about three hours before he got a response back. It was about as big as his pinky finger, seemed to be made of the stuff doctors use in their charts and was mostly torn. It read five words.

_I remember. I don't care._

He sighed. He would still continue to write to her while he was contained to this godforsaken bed. He would show her he wasn't giving up on her. He hoped the others could convince her they weren't going to either. If they were allowed to talk to her. Euphrasie said she'd gotten destructive. The doctors might be keeping everyone but themselves out. He stared at the words until he noticed there were more on the back of the paper.

_I'd like to hear the story, though._

He resolved he would find a way to get to her. When he knew Euphrasie had gone home, he saw her walk out in regular clothes, he called a nurse in.

"Is there anything you need?" She asked.

"Yeah, what does NCC-1701 mean?" He countered.

"Oh that's nurse slang. It's a part of the psych ward, suicide watch. It means Nor Communicative Case, part of the No Consent hall. Whoever is in it doesn't want to be there at all, and won't tell anyone what's going on. Why?" She explained.

"My girlfriend is in there. I need to speak to her. She will talk to me. I know she will." He expressed.

The nurse bit her lip. "I think you should talk to your doctor and hers."

"Fine, fine, get me them." He dismissed her and she left.

Doctor Madeleine and another doctor he didn't recognize came in. This doctor had a humble aurora around her, as if her very presence were soothing. This was a good trait for a doctor who worked with suicidal patients. He just wished Grantaire wasn't one of them.

"Enjolras, this is Doctor Jondrette. She works with Grantaire." Madeleine smiled.

"I know what happened and I know where she is. Now let me speak to her." He demanded.

"Sir, while I'm glad you wish to help her, she doesn't want to see anyone right now. And I'm not inclined to repeat what she did to one of the nurses." Jondrette said with a small, condescending smile.

He reversed his theory. She wasn't soothing. She was pissing him off. Wait? What did she do to a nurse? Enjolras furrowed his brow.

"She basically punched him out." Madeleine clarified.

"She won't attack me. She will speak to me." He stated.

"I'm sorry sir but I don't think I should allow you to see her." The condescending smile hadn't vanished.

"Jondrette, a word?" Madeleine interfered.

"Of course." She smiled at him and they stepped right outside his door. He blocked out everything else and just listened to them. He could just barely pick it up.

"He has gotten to her in the past. He stayed by her side all thirteen months when she was in a coma. And she knows this. When they brought him in after being shot, she raced up and out of her chair and pushed his gurney to get to surgery faster. She still can't even stand, and he caused her to find the strength to run. He inspires her to do more, to get better. It's his health I'm more worried about. He's doing much better, and the antibiotics are finally working, but I don't know how much energy he has." Madeleine said.

Jondrette sighed. "You think he'll push himself for her?"

"I know he will. The only question is how she'll react. She's never hesitated from calling him out before." Madeleine smiled a little.

"Give me a moment to think of the risks and what it could do for her." Jondrette gave a wave of her hand and he knew he and Madeleine had won.

A minute later, they both came back inside.

"All right. But you have to wait until tomorrow and you cannot untie her." Jondrette agreed.

"You're restraining her?!" He shouted.

"Calm down, Enjolras. It's standard protocol when a patient attacks a nurse." Madeleine soothed.

Knowing this could interfere with him seeing Grantaire, he took a deep breath and tried his best to calm down.

"I agree to these terms." Enjolras conceded.

"And you can't push yourself. If you get tired and need to rest, you tell someone immediately." Madeleine added.

"Those as well." He permitted.

"Then I will fetch you tomorrow." Jondrette said. With a slight bow of her head to signal goodbye, she left.

"Get some rest, Enjolras. You'll need it for tomorrow." Madeleine told him. "Now I'm going home. You know who to call if you need anything."

He nodded and closed his eyes. He was going to see her! Excitement ran through his veins and it took some time for him to calm enough to sleep. He might be a little tired tomorrow but he didn't care. He wouldn't feel any lethargy in her presence. He loved her too much for that.

* * *

**All right. So I just spent the day finishing Season Five of Supernatural. I'm all caught up but my friend isn't and we were watching it together. So many feels. This is the product of that. If you have any problems with this, please tell me. If you want to kill me, tell me so I can run and hide. If you actually like this story, tell me. Reviews of all kinds are loved. Except trolls. Again, college student. Barely have enough time to do mountains of busy work. No time for trolls.**

**This is for Almost an Actress: Where are you? You haven't reviewed or responded in a while. I just want to make sure you're okay.**

**Until next time. Adieu mon chers.**

**P.S. In the letter, Fanfiction won't allow me to have things crossed out. So if you saw -this- around a sentence it meant he crossed it out. Still read it, as technically she can to but that was him regretting what he wrote in pen.**


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